|Reviews for Between the Lines|
| mellamaet chapter 1 . 8/30/2017
Damn. That was highly emotional This needs a follow up story though. My emotional stability depends on knowing of my favorite guys come back alive.
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/3/2016
This needs to be continued!
| Tropicallight chapter 1 . 3/30/2015
This is a really different story
| Sorashana chapter 1 . 3/16/2015
So I like to think of myself as not being particularly 'emotional' even though being female, I'm stereotypically obligated to be. But I'm rarely moved by books, movies, TV shows, or even fanfics.
So when I say that this is the second time I've read this, and both times I found myself fighting the urge to cry (heck, even as I write this review, I'm fighting that urge), that should hopefully give you an indication of just how GOOD this story is. The emotion in it as you write all the character's perspectives hits home, and it hits home HARD.
I'm also not really the type to review most stories (should probably get into that habit...), preferring to not say anything if I don't have anything truly productive to say. But it would be doing this story, which is already amazing even though it's barely started, a disservice to admire in silence so here I am. I've read the reviews, and I know that you've gotten far more awesome ones than this, but hopefully a heartfelt review from someone who is both looking forward to and dreading updates for this amazing story (the first because it's awesome, the second because the FEELS D:) with equal anticipation will be appreciated all the same. This promises to be one of the better stories, and I'm curious to see what you've got in store for us.
| The Arcticourt Spellwright chapter 1 . 12/17/2014
Can I just say outright that you have written what promises to be one of the most bad*** fics on the site? I don't usually fave after only one chapter, but even this bit is worth it. I love a good War In the Anime Verse fic, but I am rather picky-but I do think you've done very well thus far. That said, I've got a few suggestions:
1. How are Pokemon being employed in the war effort, both on the battlefield and the home front. If you look at the beginning of Lucario and the Mystery of Mew, even then we can see that Pokemon were considered weapons of war and viable soldiers. So, I'd suggest working out some answers to questions such as these. Here's something to get you started: On Omaha Beach, a wall of Wobuffet and Mr. Mimes equipped with Light Screen might have been helpful against the first rush of bullets. But if the Nazis holding down the beach had had access to some 'mon that knew disable, this wouldn't mean much. Rather, Alakazam knowing how to teleport to coordinates might have been much more effective.
There is a really good forum on that discusses these things. "War in a Pokemon World". It has some great ideas, especially about using Dragons as air artillery and Wailord as barges, but...
2. Don't underestimate pokeballs. They can basically teleport a pokemon into and out of a dangerous situation with little difficulty. Imagine, having a Camerupt pre-informed to just use Eruption upon Release being introduced into a melee or a gun turret from perhaps thirty yards away-close enough to see the goal, not close enough to reach. Or the use of voltorb as reuseable grenades. Spikes, the domain of Forretress, have been used as anti-infantry and anti-air weapons in our worlds' wars, so how much more easy would it be to just use these guys as spike-layers? Or breaking up melees? Or even assassination? Three pokemon, same strategy.
Now, add in that as Misty's Psyduck has demonstrated, humans are not the only entities that can open pokeballs, that opens up a whole new range of possibilities. Intelligent pokemon can be independent agents, after all, and work in groups and teams and whatnot. Or pokeballs tinkered to carry humans and release upon cessation of motion-wouldn't that be much easier than parachuting teams in? Or, my favorite, what I call the "Shell Squash Strategy": Take one Endure-trained Torterra in pokeball, have either some flying type or psychic type transport and release it over the enemy, unleashing nearly 700 lbs of durable grass/ground type aided by gravity. Let's face it: humans would NOT survive an impact from something like that. (And I'm not the only one to have worked something like this out it seems-if you want some creative uses of pokemon as soldiers, look at Cornova's Pokewars series. The Truculence, chapter four, I believe, and there is a similar use of Snorlax in his first long work.)
Come to think of it, just teleporting or levitating humans up into the air and letting gravity do her thing... Anti-psychic protection is a MUST on a pokemon-world battlefields. Perhaps a dark-type shielding extender? Yes, the Professors have a LOT on their plates right now. But Alakazam apparently are about as good as a super computer at these things, so perhaps they could be used for outsourcing? My apologies, I digress.
3. Do not underestimate pokemon functionality in support roles. Not just as transportation, but so many pokemon can function as radar or early warning systems (Absol, Luxray, perhaps Lucario, the Ralts evolutionary line, any pokemon capable of Foresight or detect...). Or Ditto, to turn into armor or a ghillie suit. Or Miltank: dangerous, and soldiers need all the medics they can get! Not to mention Steelix and Dugtrio, the Pokeworld's own relandscaper specialists... How many tunnels and trenches could be produced in matters of hours? They could bring down MOUNTAINS under their own weight. Montecasino would not have stood a chance.
4. People in this world have different abilities, such as Anabel and Sabrina, and different appearances-consider the array of hair colors. This might make characters such as Drew more recognizable, but might also be employed to his advantage if he went into stealth ops.
5. Read up on World War II. And on any wars in locations similar to those you hope to portray, such as the American Revolutionary War and the War of 1812 (American Edition) for environmental complications to an Unova invasion, or Japanese defense systems of World War II and before, or for Hoenn, wars in the Middle East, in the South Pacific (especially Vietnam, there's lots of data on that!), training and military tactics of Southern California...anywhere hot and sunny. For Sinnoh, Russia, Alaska, Scotland, Sakhalin, et cetera. Take it from the mouth of a History Major (aka Library Rat): if this seems like a lot of work, Wikipedia is your best friend, followed by contacting research addicts and historians who know more than you do on where to look.
One more question: where are trainers such as Paul, Brandon, Harrison (remember him? Back before the Battle Frontier?), et cetera? The heavy-hitters? Paul is an obvious choice for eventual heavy artillery-and yes, I'm including pokemon as "Artillery"-and might even have volunteered in order to further challenge and train himself and his team. Brandon, the Pyramid King, would be an anti-tanker's nightmare with his Regis, and as a surprising ambush choice: All he need would be a Steelix or Onix, to set things up, because he has more than enough experience with tunnels in his work. Then there are League Tournament Winners, such as Harrison and Tyson: mixed, powerful teams. Surely they were drafted into specialty training? While it is my opinion that the institution of pokemon training is itself a military training device, used to start preparing pokemon who take a while to train before their trainers even reach the time when they are eligible for the draft, but even if that is not the case, *not* utilizing such powerfully trained pokemon assets and strategists is a crime against both resources and logic.
| Catherine45 chapter 1 . 12/11/2014
That was good! And contestshipping part was so cute. I'll be waiting for next chapter.
| PrincessVictory chapter 1 . 12/9/2014
I honestly believe your writing is very good, other than a few typos that I'm sure you didn't mean to make.
As far as the storyline goes, it is very thought-provoking and interesting, and I'd love to see where it goes, although I also feel like you rushed their month and a half left home quite a bit. I feel like it either could've been extended with the "unforgettable thing" Ash was talking about, or you could've made their time home shorter so it doesn't seem as skipped through. Other than that I love how you included everyone in the nostalgia, although I think it would've been neat to mention Lyra and Khoury and/or Silver since they're our Johto representatives and they're often shipped. Also, I'd like to see how Cilan and Iris are coping with things, especially since Cilan is going to be pitted against his best friend in upcoming battles, which can be viewed very tragically due to the fact that he is the only male thus far that we've truly developed a connection to, aside from maybe N and/or any game characters you decide to include from the Kalos and Unova regions. I do look forward to seeing more!
| CoyoteBlack23 chapter 1 . 12/9/2014
Damn that was really good.