Reviews for Knights of Broken Swords
margo burch chapter 1 . 9/3/2021
for any followers of Matt's wordpress and fanfiction. Matthew passed Sept 3, 2021 while working as cross country truck driver. He passed in Colorado Springs, Co. His residence was Columbia, Lexington County, SC.
Aquawyrm chapter 9 . 5/9/2018
That was a really fun story to read, especially after just finishing Pact. I'm happy to see that there's some Pact fanfiction out there, even if it's just a few pieces.
ZE Bri-0n chapter 7 . 2/2/2017
Butters won't kill a guilty man? What? Butters is a Knight of the Cross. It is his responsibility to be ready and willing to kill anything sufficiently evil he meets. Including humans.
Guest chapter 3 . 1/17/2015
Wait, that thing, the monster that ate the woman. It's not Green-Eyes, is it? I mean, that would make sense, but ...
I like Green-Eyes.
required-field chapter 9 . 1/15/2015
Loved it. Did the whole Horror aspect fantastically for the first few chapters. Better than most of Pact, even, I think; Wildbow's lack of detail is his weakest aspect, and it makes it tough to scare. Probably something to do with the visceral description of poor Jenny. Especially loved Blake on the hunt. Concisely plotted, neatly tied up: well done, in sum.

Things to improve... dialogue. Definitely the fic's weakest aspect. Stilted in a lot of places... often too artificial sounding. Characters simply announce their feelings at each other in places. Show it. Show the anger, don't just have Blake say, "I'm angry." Not everyone talks in order to explicitly lay out their side of a situation. Undertones. Body language. They felt absent from most of the exchanges. I feel like the only difference between Wendigo-Wendigo and Carl-Wendigo was the speech tags.

Secondly, the denouement. Rapid-fire. I'm not sure that was a good thing. You mentioned a conversation between Butters and one of the angels to come, but never actually showed it. Is that really less important than the one between Butters and a TSA agent that got ten times the words (and actually happened on screen?)

Lastly, the Outsiders. Once they go under the microscope, they lost a lot of their fear factor, although they were never too scary (especially the whole "round table of let's discuss our plans on camera in italics.") Also, Blake simply "felt their evil" at one point, I think. Show itttttt. Talk about the hiss and malice in his words, their presence, how that evil feels. The way Blake's branches creak and bend at their mere presence. Honestly, the Wendigo was much better done, until it opened its mouth. I did especially like the "who defeated you last time?" snark. Schrodinger's horror villain, I guess. It can be scary, or on-camera. It's tough to do both.

Cheers, mate, and thanks for the read.
My Readers Digest chapter 1 . 1/13/2015
Damn this is spot on.
asdf chapter 1 . 1/12/2015
i dont' get it. why don't you put this in space battles.
OnConditionOfAnonymity chapter 7 . 1/6/2015
Great chapter. I'm loving this story.
maxizaxi chapter 4 . 12/20/2014
Evan is supplying too much abstract info, when he says shit it's always way concrete, also he doesn't remember Blake fighting the hyena, conquest, Pauz, or the abstract demon. In addition Evan seldom acknowledges requests, he performs them or objects to them. Evan being the one to talk about others in this manner is out of character that's Blake's job, Evan is not there to figure out plans or analyse data, he scouts, assists in escape's and gives aid in battle

Thinking "hideously tortured voice" is out of character for Blake to think, and is not in style for either of the authors crossed. Remember that chicken nugget is sushi's pet name, not Blake's.
Blake never considers actions creepy when in Other mode, and judges humans the same way as he does others. The moth analogy being paraphrased rather than quoted is perfect though with Blake directly referring to himself as the moth and his feelings rather than the abstract quote is entirely in character.

Keep in mind that very little of Blake's approach is based on his experience as a member of the supernatural community, it is all from his time on the streets or his instincts, common sense and logical analysis. His thoughts to being drawn in wouldn't be to think about his experiences in being drawn in which has happened something like one time.

There are some other issues (heh) I have, like with the whole "like the hyena but lacking it's most defining features" but all in all I have enjoyed myself reading this, Dresden side seems in character and plot suspends disbelief. Please continue this so i can keep reading.
Olivebirdy chapter 1 . 12/16/2014
Nope. Blake can sense and feed off fear, and he knows about connections. That's it. Evan can break connections, I don't think he can actually see them. Sense ways to escape, yes. Track, no.
Guest chapter 2 . 12/16/2014
They use each other's names too much.
Farmerbob1 chapter 2 . 12/16/2014
Olivebirdy,

Blake can still sense connections, as recently as 13.7. He uses the connections to hunt and track the Duchamp husbands on his kill list. Allowing them to start making connections and then breaking away, causing fear. He knows when they can detect him. Fear connections actually give Blake strength. I'm pretty sure that Evan has always been able to actually visually see connections.
Olivebirdy chapter 2 . 12/16/2014
How is Blake suddenly able to sense connections again?
OnConditionOfAnonymity chapter 1 . 12/14/2014
Glad to see this happening. Pact needs more fanfiction, and I've enjoyed your earlier stuff.

I typed up a long comment about how the penalties thing from the first paragraph is wrong (I'm in law school, so it distracted me more than it should have), but it might be OK. If the contract says they pay a large penalty for failing to deliver, that's not allowed. But if they knew what the battery was for and what happens if they don't deliver it on time, they can be liable for losses resulting from that. As long as the battery wasn't for a Villain's Secret Plan, I'll just assume they knew. And Carl has no reason to know or care about the difference between penalties and consequential damages.

Anyway, really looking forward to seeing more of this.
Olivebirdy chapter 1 . 12/14/2014
No, Jenny, don't be dead!