Reviews for Three's A Crowd (But Pack Sticks Together) |
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![]() ![]() Awesome! I can't wait to read part two, hopefully! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Still love this story, but there's been something nagging at me that was "wrong," and I finally managed to verbalize what it is. This whole "Timeline" business. It's problematic from a tension and character perspective. From a tension perspective, it forces a constant high level of it, to the point where anything less than a battle to the death feels like just the calm before the storm. Which does not fit well with how the rest of your story handles tension. From a character perspective, it can cause ANYONE but the two travelers to act out of character. That is NOT OKAY unless your story focuses on the two of them, and treats everyone else as slightly less human, and plot devices. It might work if the "Timeline" thing could only work within probabilities, and didn't affect personalities, but the way it is explained, it isn't okay. Most of the reason I enjoy this story has to do with the fact that I can ignore it most of the time. A better way to do this would be to have Kurama have no idea, thinking he just made a new timeline from the start, and have things go to hell anyway. Leave readers wondering why things seem to be resisting change, and maybe later have Kurama understand what is going on. (But still NEVER have it affect characters directly. Even if that isn't true, if you make the readers believe that, everyone not immune to that effect will be ineffective as characters and only be plot devices.) Still staying for the current character interactions, and other than the "Timeline" thing, I really like everything else you've done with this so far. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Angst is GREAT in moderation. It's the same with comedy. If a fic is nothing but laughs, the whole thing is less funny, but a serious setting grounds the humor. A fic with relatively light material and occasional angst, occasional horror, or a variety of other things is the same way. Don't worry about it. You wrote it well. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh god, this twist is perfect. Unexpected, makes a reasonable amount of sense, and is cute. (I mean, I found Kurama cute when he first appeared in Naruto, snarling and wanting to eat everyone, so I'm probably biased.) |
![]() ![]() ![]() This story is meeting all my expectations, which were actually pretty good at the start. Don't worry about focusing on a supporting character perspective if it helps the story along. I actually didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. (Though I suppose my perspective is different as someone who is just reading through everything all at once instead of in chapter-length installments.) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Kakashi being a chakra ghost kinda makes sense, because only Kurama is actually made of just chakra, and it makes sense that he could regain chakra because, well... he's in himself, but it would have made just as much sense if there wasn't a separate "older Kakashi." A different way you could do it is if "older Kakashi" was a construct that younger Kakashi's mind created to compartmentalize the incompatible memories. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I am now making the :D face in real life. Just thought you would like to know. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Haven't read enough to judge, but I have to say that the initial presentation is great. Though it is slightly annoying to have another fic that has Kurama's speech in bold letters (bold is a little too much in most fonts imo) instead of using alternate quotation marks like «this.» It isn't too bad, though. Also, your version of Kurama seems actually in-character compared to others I've seen, so you have that going for you. I like a good-but-not-particularly-nice Kurama. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I don’t know how a missed this gem of a story! Honestly, its amazing. The world building, the way you made old Kakashi, Chibi kakashi and Kurama bond with the mind link and experiences, I don’t know. It’s unique, in a way I’ve never seen before. It doesn’t follow the typical time travel fanfiction structure, and that’s part of what makes it amazing. Ahhhhh I can’t get enough of it. I’ll be waiting for the sequel! And I hope you’re well! Literally fell in love with your writing |
![]() ![]() ![]() What an adventure this has been. 9/10 story and no doubt about that. |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is my second time reading this fic, and it's honestly as good as I remember. One thing I'd like to add, however, is that you misspell chakra. All the time. Maybe it's just my grammar pirate tendencies, but my attention is always detracted whenever I see 'chackra'. I know you probably won't want anything to do with it now you've finished this fic, but please, if you're willing, look into it. |
![]() ![]() Really awesome story, thank you for writing |
![]() ![]() ![]() I bowed before your greatness. I would give you my first born just so you bless us with the second part. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I have read this so many times. Thanks for the great story! |
![]() ![]() ![]() I love Minato completely out of his comfort zone. He's got so many problems and can't figure out what the hell any of them are |