|Reviews for Rerun: Twilight Love|
| ASingleMind chapter 2 . 1/1/2015
So this is the last thing I expected to pop up in this section. Not to say that it is unwelcome—it just surprised me! The AN at the beginning makes this seem more promising that the previous run. Your take on the world setting aligns with mine to some extent. :P
That said, there are a number of small things I liked here, including the food given. It was distinctly vegetarian which is how I've always imagined the average diet in Skyland to be like. They don't have the room for a lot of animal grazing, and the survival of many domesticated animals is questionable based on what the show and comic gave us.
Some things that bothered me though...namely the formatting, which is a minor error easily fixed. There seem to be spaces missing in between paragraphs, which makes it hard to follow sometimes. Some of your sentences are also a bit long and contain more than one idea, such as: “They had both clocked...Cortes knew this Kiara wasn't daft...as the enormity of the situation...Kiara realized exactly...and she had her answer ready before he could finish his sentence.”
The room and its amenities also feel strange. The bathroom items imply a flagrant use of water and availability of resources that the pirates don't have. I imagine that they might be lacking some common items, a lot. It seemed weird that they would fill the wardrobe with clothes specifically matching her original set, or any at all depending on how cautious you wanted to characterize them. They would be more suspicious I feel, even of someone they rescued from running from the Sphere. The enemies of your enemies are not necessarily your friends, especially if they're unconscious and you can't determine why it is the Sphere was after them.
Which brings me to the point of their conversation. It felt uncharacteristic, based on how rough and cautious she was described to just tell them everything after a simple prompt even with their imposing presence. Why would she just give in? They helped her, sure, but she doesn't really have any reason to trust them since she doesn't know who they are until Cortes gives his curt explanation and apparently sees them as a possible threat. This actually goes a bit both ways, which makes me wonder why Cortes just up and asked her to join like that (although I see the straightforward writing of him you mentioned).
I'm curious about this tech she talked about, despite the bluntness. Looking forward to hearing more about it.