Reviews for Bellatrix's second chance
LifeIsAGreatAdventure chapter 11 . 3/1/2015
I still like this story and the concept behind it a great deal but would encourage you to get a beta to help you with some English grammar issues. As examples, the position you have put Harry and Bella in on the quiddich team is called a "chaser" not a "hunter" in English. Gryffindor is their "house" not their "home". There are a couple of other things but I can't remember them right off the mark. These are not huge issues but they do cause readers used to the English names for these things a bit of a shock when they come across them. Other than this, I really liked your descriptions of the action of chasing Neville, and adding James and Sirius to Bella's dreams was nicely done as was the scene in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Thanks as always for your hard work on this, I will be looking forward to future installments.
Zicou chapter 10 . 2/26/2015
great chapter, continuue,
z.
lou2003us chapter 10 . 2/23/2015
I really want to see what happens next!

Looking forward to next chapter!

Keep up the great work.
ThunderClaw03 chapter 10 . 2/22/2015
Bella's reacting to moldyshorts being in the school and his soul jar in the room of requirement update soon
Penny is wise chapter 10 . 2/22/2015
Awesome chapter.
a lazy noob chapter 10 . 2/22/2015
Not bad. Not bad at all. Grammar, diction, and prose need some work but other than that not much. Might I recommend a beta reader?.

You doing fine, keep it up.
noob
Penny is wise chapter 9 . 2/16/2015
Awesome chapter. How is moRon smart enough to be a Ravenclaw? Ambition in his head for Slytherin yes but he's hard to see in the house of smarts.
afan chapter 8 . 2/16/2015
Thank you for updating so frequently. I'm enjoying this story very much. I noticed at the end of Chapter Eight that you're starting to experiment with contractions. Very good! The use of 'it's' in the last paragraph is perfect. I wouldn't even have noticed it(due to the smooth flow of the wording) if I hadn't noticed a small problem in the paragraph above it that indicates that you might still be uncomfortable with the usage. The sentence "...You will wait here and I'll will get you, when..." could be better written as "...You will wait here and I'll get you when...". The words 'you will' are not contracted in order to provide emphasis and to mildly scare the students into being obedient. The words 'I will' are contracted to 'I'll' in order to enhance word flow and to imply a more mild tone of voice.
All in all, you're doing a great job! Keep it up!
Sakura Lisel chapter 7 . 2/15/2015
Ollivander has to be kidding. Tell Dumbledore that a AMNESIAC 11 year old Bellatrix BLACK is 'back', whos been quietly and peacefully living her life with her new mom and best friend Harry Potter for the past couple of years causing trouble for nobody at all unlike her ADULT self who is STILL currently locked up in Azkaban at the moment, and hope what? That Dumbledore and the ministry invedtigate, find out hes right and toss whats currently an INNOCENT of all wrongdoing (at least in Bellatrix's minwiped mind) ELEVEN year self into Azkaban with her lunatic adult self and the other death eaters? Or be probably be sentenced to death since it wouldn't do to have TWO Bellatrix's running around despite the major age difference between the two?
FreeTraderBeowolf chapter 9 . 2/15/2015
Always like it when Dumbles gets put in his place. Also I really enjoyed where you sorted everyone, but I would have thought you would have sent Ronald to hufflepuff instead of Ravenclaw.
god of all chapter 9 . 2/15/2015
Great chapter and story so far please continue this story soon.
Duellist chapter 8 . 2/14/2015
You called Neville Marcel in one spot, and Naville in another. I understand that your English is still improving, but your story idea is really interesting and I am enjoying it.
Zicou chapter 8 . 2/9/2015
great chapter!
Continue,
Z.
ThunderClaw03 chapter 8 . 2/8/2015
Great job keep it up update soon
LifeIsAGreatAdventure chapter 8 . 2/8/2015
Nice job on this chapter. Given the fact that Harry told his story at the Leaky Cauldron, I'd think that the fact that he didn't know about his supposed past and what (in some detail) had happened would have gotten to the Daily Prophet. Obviously since you're translating the story you may not be able to take this into account or may have other reasons for not doing so but this is a plot hole that you may wish to address. Other than that, a great chapter and nice job on getting rid of Ron.
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