|Reviews for Dragging It Down|
| The Lady Arturia chapter 1 . 1/18/2015
OK so I read your summary and was extremely curious to read this story for some reason.
I love how you started off with the description of the investigation's file. Very well done. I also like how it easily shifted to Harry and then you brought in the thing about the Weasleys. Nicely done.
I found the parenthesis in that paragraph about their second anniversary unnecessary because it broke tge flow. I would suggest using a hyphen or a semicolon to break the sentence there. That would keep the flow intact.
I had the same problem with the sentence/paragraph, "Because a Muggle man had been drowned..." generally beginning a sentence with because is ill advised as you have to be very careful. 'Because' is used when connecting a main clause to a connecting clause. Eg. "Gary went to school because he was a student." Now if you wanted to use because at the beginning of the sentence, then it should be the reason that connects to the main clause and not just a fragment. Eg. "Because Gary was a student, he went to school." Is a proper sentence Whereas, "Because he was a student." Is a fragment. I suggest you omit the because in your sentence as the sentence is perfectly fine even without the because. It may have made a little bit more sense if it were part of the previous paragraph, but since it's the beginning of a new paragraph, it's not supposed to be used that way.
Just FYI, Harry and Ginny's kids are not Pureblood. They're Halfblood. Pureblood children are born of two Purebloods, whereas Harry is a Halfblood as Lily Evans-Potter was a Muggleborn. Although Ginny is Pureblood, since Harry is half, their kids are Half as well. Or three-quarters, but there's no such thing as Three-quarters blood, so yeah. And if by 'family' you mean the Weasleys, then ignore everything I just said.
I really liked that Ron joked about Harry shagging Ginny, because I honestly can't imagine that happening even after everything. I also didn't get "and the hand gesture that was handed to him on a silver platter" sorry but it made no sense to me.
Is it just me or was the second bit really rushed and abrupt? I sort of was confused by what was happening because of how abruptly one paragraph changed to the next, but I liked how it ended. Very cute. BABY JAMIE UGH.
I also really liked the plot idea and maybe if some day you write a proper multi-chap fic using the plot, I will be very interested in reading it :D
Nicely done, love. Cheers!
| Mireille DeMaupassant chapter 1 . 1/12/2015
This Drunk Review brought to you by I Fell Out of My Chsir! Now We're Getting Somewhere! Cherry Vodka. I really enjoyed reading this little fi let. Is is competere? I can't remember what it said in the summary. Anyway, it was fun, like watching an episo de of like Poirôt or Diagnose Murder you know where the murder is terrible and gruesome but presented in a kind of lighthearted way? Good job! Good story! And holly balls I only just realized you have a tardis on your thingi! I'll have to read one of your de fics next!
| Summer Leigh Wind chapter 1 . 1/8/2015
This was quite enjoyable. I can't say I understood every facet of it, but I liked it none the less for how solid a storyline it was and how complete it felt in the end.
So about that storyline, it was that a group of wizards/witches were killing muggle politicians they didn't like, right?
I guess because that's what I'm least certain on, I figure if you wanted to improve the stor a little the reason for the murders could be spelled out a little more...
I did enjoy seeing the reoccurring theme of things being "dragged down".
The end got a chuckle out of me as it was quite funny to picture Harry walking in on the scene and how Ginny may have looked!
| Gurl5678 chapter 1 . 1/2/2015