|Reviews for Because of You|
| The Fox Familiar chapter 1 . 10/12/2019
The Stunning and Brave continues when the author dedicates and entire chapter to diaper changing. Man, the tears I’m shedding for this truckload of brave! Desmond, the single gay dad who was a Jane the Virgin and who manages to experience the pain women faced when they bring children into the world! His male privilege totally got checked!
The plot in this fic involves hunting for a Blood Time Cube that can sequence memories with no one being there. Oh, what a twist! Too bad it’ll come second to Desmond’s Maury Povich plot.
Stacey isn’t a pediatrician, but a military drop-out who isn’t even qualified. Yet, she’s going to be handling Desmond’s baby. Yeesh. We kill horses for less. And I am also pleased that Desmond still gets triggered at any mention of female genitalia, like ‘vagina’. The Vagina Monologues would probably give him a heart attack.
Apparently, Desmond has always had a vagina, but no one until now has noticed it. You’re not even sure if Juno was the one who raped-impregnated him or Clay, because fuck it!
Boo hoo, the Templars are against gay marriage, even though Otso Berg was told that, man or woman, he could have either and the Templars wouldn’t have an issue with it. Derrrrrrrrrrrr.
I’m so glad you included an IFLS science note at the end, because you did ‘so much research’ for this. Now, we have a Crystal Skull plot, because not everything can be centered around Desmond’s crying brat, right? Right? No? Dammit.
Now we have a tangent on how Mary Read was a transsexual, because the author (and let’s face, it SJWs), think that women back then who dressed as men MUST have identified as men. No, they did not take hormones. They did not get sexual reassignment surgery. Mary Read cross-dressed as a man so she could be a pirate without issue.
Gay people didn’t really have it that bad. In the 19th century rich ones used to go to poorer countries in Europe to boink boys in brothels. Black people sold each other into slavery and they still do to this day. But no, we need to talk about pronouns and male pregnancy, because we’re Stunning and Brave.
Ah, Spencer is Afrikaner. I wonder if he left South Africa after Nelson Mandela took power in 1994, that racist. He needs to experience diversity in the Rainbow Nation!
There’s a mini plot involving a power surge and viruses in the Animus that threatens Desmond, but it’s OK because he needs to get out and change some diapers. This is becoming less of Assassin’s Creed than Diaper Creed. The Sims does it better.
Heh. You know what happened to the Taino? They were bred out of existence. Intermarriage between them and the Spaniards eventually rendered their bloodline and language extinct. I’d make a note here about a more serious issue, but I think that would offend you immensely.
Ah, so Elijah, Desmond’s actual son, gets brought into the fray. This treasure hunt for First Civ temples and whatnot all pale in comparison to Desmond acting as a mother to his child. I’ll go on that in a minute.
How amusing, then, that embryos are ‘clumps of cells’, yet Desmond could not get rid of his parasite because it was ‘too far along’ in the first trimester.
Desmond a badass? For what plot? This wannabe Tomb Raider plot comes second because this pregnancy fetish of yours comes first. I always love it when authors who write the shittiest, stupidest plots then try to add some intrigue and action with the dumbest backstories. It took you the sequel – and I still don’t know why Stacey was kicked out of the army – to establish an actual story. Before that, any incidences with the Animus was brought out by Desmond’s brat needing to have his diaper changed and to be breastfed, because Desmond developed mammary glands, too.
Amusing, then, that Mary Read is considered to be transsexual but it’s offensive when Desmond is called a hermaphrodite, when that’s a valid term as he possesses functioning sets of genitalia. Desmond also gets offended when female genitalia is talked about, as if his own vagina disgusts him. That reminds me: Desmond, as a person and character, didn’t exist here. He is very much a self-insert of the author, who wishes she could get pregnant or wants to force women with unwanted pregnancies to continue said pregnancy.
Remember: Desmond initially talked about his pregnancy as a rape; he never asked or consented to that. The reason for his pregnancy had no explanation. Subject 16 apparently wanted to give birth to himself again, and Desmond had a vagina AND a uterus the whole time. Why no one noticed that, or why no other option was used to ensure an actual sci-fi plot was not pursued, because the author does not have that degree of intelligence.
Imagine an Assassin’s Creed fanfic that has nothing to do with Assassin’s Creed, but about a single dad giving birth to a kid from another dude who never had sex with him and who changes diapers AND with an Edward Snowden plot that was never touched upon because the Brotherhood had to go get maternity clothes. Imagine the sequel having a Tomb Raider plot to find Crystal Skulls and Desmond sits around breastfeeding and finding noodles to eat. Some ‘badass’ behaviour; he’s done nothing but act like a prissy, useless teen mom that relies on someone else to clothe, feed, and house him. Screw Assassin’s Creed. This is a TLC show.
Now, this isn’t the first Mpreg fic you’ve written, derrrrrrrrrrrr. You’ve written a Skyrim crossover where Desmond doesn’t have a vagina in that one, but he gets eggs deposited up his ass and a dragon’s tongue up his asshole. You have this wannabe cutesy, UWU, 2009 meme girl attitude that you think is affectionate, when it just makes you look stupid.
But the best part of this whole thing is that you made a pro-life fic. Desmond, who never wanted the kid and wanted an abortion, grows to love the life growing inside him and becomes a loving, caring mother. Now, all we need to do is ship it to a few pro-life organizations and you’ll have a boatload of fans. But wait. You don’t want /those/ fans, you want the kudos you get on AO3, from people who slobber over a pretty sentence.
I’m going to compare this fic to ‘Abortion: Stories Women Tell’ and remind you that yes, Desmond, there is such a thing as a coat hanger. Do use it.
| Overly Emotional chapter 19 . 3/28/2017
Oh gosh I'm so excited for the next chapter! Desmond has really grown as a character and become a great father. This is amazing m8
| Overly Emotional chapter 18 . 1/18/2017
Gosh it's so good and I'm living for those Andrew and Desmond bonding moments! Hope you have a good day and hope to read more from you
| nirvana-af chapter 9 . 5/31/2016
"Watching Edward silently wreak his havoc on the high seas, Desmond felt like he was in some weird dream. The situation was made all the more surreal when Andrew chose that moment to fart."
lmao, you sorta get this build up and then that happens. Nice one, Andrew
| Hack Generation chapter 16 . 7/12/2015
the laughter is real
| Guest chapter 15 . 7/1/2015
'And something something that rhymes with safe' completely killed me. Although I doubt using 'chafe' would have been any better.
| Hack Generation chapter 15 . 4/29/2015
fekin andrews cuteness is affecting me
| Kifo Entiegon chapter 14 . 3/24/2015
This is just as good as the previous story in the series. Can't wait for the next chapter.
| Hack Generation chapter 14 . 3/22/2015
OMFG THE DESU IS TOO MUUUUUCH
DES IS LIKE (SENPAI) NOTICE ME DAMMIT)
| Hack Generation chapter 13 . 3/8/2015
omfg des is totes desu
| Hack Generation chapter 12 . 2/22/2015
| black dragon chapter 12 . 2/22/2015
E for Ezio! G for Grandmaster, J for Jump, L for Leap and P for Pirate!
| Hack Generation chapter 11 . 2/9/2015
| ApparitionofaFox chapter 10 . 2/3/2015
Freaking sweat! I love this so much! X3
| Hack Generation chapter 10 . 2/3/2015
NEEEEEEEEEEE! THE CUTE OF BABY BABYNESS