really liked this but it feels unfinished. one more chapter explaining what he DID do would be good.

This story is kinda interesting but I don't know if the end is a good choice...
It's quite confused when I read " she said", "he said" or " she shout" without any sentences come along, I don't know what they said, or shout, are some parts of the dialogue missing?
And, I think you may nedd quotation marks, these ones. ( ", " )

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE CONTINUE!
This is such a great story and it's soooooo funny! I love this and you so much. Don't abandon me!

i love this fic so sad it's abandoned

I'm getting confused on what is what you need "" markings around your dialogue so we know it is dialogue. also it seems you are missing parts of dialogue because you wrote 'she shouted. Do something! he said, and leaned in and kissed her'... what did he say? IT is good but it is missing pieces and it is driving me crazy. :P

UPDATE

I would of liked the story to be a bit longer... Oh well ( sighs sadly )

Are you planing on writing more ? If not please say so ... Like it so far ...

NOOOOOO! You can't leave it at THAT! You have to come back and write MOOORRRRREEEEE! Pretty please with a gumdrop on top?!

It's amazing so far :) But I think some dialogue might be missing... Quotation marks would help the flow :)

OHHHHMMMMYYYYGGOOODDDD! I loved this! XD

Incomplete stories are becoming a trend of yours, sadly :( This was pretty interesting, it'd be nice to see it continued!

Why you no finish stories!

GGGAAAAARRRRRRHHHH! this story must be completed! It's funny and cute and you need to use speech marks! Gosh I love it, hope you can update or complete one day

really liked it! it's fab was disapointed to end :'(

Gawd, you should continue this! And that is a meanie cliffie. : nope. Not happy at all. this story is very funny and i sincerely hope that you will update this.

NR