Reviews for I Go Now to the Halls of Waiting
booksfoodmusic-minion chapter 5 . 2/20/2016
This is beautiful!
Really touching and sweet.
WillowDryad chapter 5 . 12/28/2015



This is so wonderfully done. So lovely. So just right.

I cried when Fili and Kili met their father again. And Dis and Thorin - I hope she'll forgive him soon, but what you wrote is to real and human (dwarf). I'd love for you to write just a bit more so it ends on a happier note, but it's wonderful as is.

Well done.
Marigold Faucet chapter 5 . 10/28/2015
I hate you.

This is like my two favourite things: ghosts and Joli. My son, my dead afterlife son. Seriously, I'm jealous. When I die I want my own Joli to make out with me.

Okay so first of all, here's my favourite paragraph:

“I know,” Jóli breathed just as quietly. They had had almost a century to contemplate all of those little details, almost a century to treasure tiny words that had been spoken in anticipation of nothing more than a day apart. She had spent almost a century without that voice, without those eyes, without his kisses, but never without his love.

There's a lot about this that I love. The words chosen and the words not spoken. There's a century worth of story here and it touches on something that I spend a frankly ridiculous amount of time thinking about - last words.

It's interesting from a writer's perspective to chose a character's last words - should they be meaningful? Full of love? Anger? Joy? Sorrow? Should they be mundane? Like telling your kids to behave or reminding someone to pick up the groceries? Should they carry the promise of return? Something like "I'll see you later" or "I'll be back soon"? Are they said with trepidation? Unease, because they know they might not come back? Or are they said without thought, without care? Just something you say because you have no reason to doubt you'll be untrue? Do they promise? Do they even say goodbye?

I like the words you chose, because in their way they're said to all three. I can just imagine Joli kneeling before of his sons as they hug him goodbye - no more fierce or gentle than any time before that day - telling them to behave as he smirks up at Dis and she just rolls her eyes.

I love that you didn't need to describe the scene and I love all the things left unsaid. What did Dis say? I don't think she remembers, I think Joli does, but I think Dis held onto Joli's words so tightly - and I think she did it with every person she lost - that it hardly seemed to matter anymore.

Those words, aside from Dwalin, were all she had left.

(I'm convinced Frerin said "smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast" and then six years later he died.)

(I'm sorry, they've been putting on a bunch of Red Dwarf episodes and Frerin is Ace - the better, more liked version of Thorin as Ace is the better, more like version of Rimmer.)

I love all the other family stuff - her forgiving everyone but Thorin and Frerin calling her Dissy (I'm stealing that btw).

"I have all the ages of the world t earn your forgiveness" is an utterly beautiful line, I actually teared up a little bit. My children.

I love you. I love THIS.
Italian Hobbit chapter 5 . 10/23/2015

I loved this from start to finish. That kiss at the beginning, ooh boy, made me feel a little lonely, but I love that passion, that burning desire, between her and Joli, even all these years later, it never dimmed, it never went away. Such is the way of Dwarves, and I love that you included it. If only those two rascals hadn't intruded... :P

You captured Fili and Kili so well, too-their differing personalities, Kili's cheerfulness and Fili's calm, caring nature. And I wanted to cry, thinking of how much Dis has lost over the years-it feels like so much more than anyone else had to lose, and now she has gained it again. I especially loved her reunion with her mother; I feel like I often forget that she had one, but you brought it all back and gave it meaning. What a beautiful description of her, too.

I loved Frerin... just how I imagine him, that cheerful, loving middle brother that Dis loved so much and missed greatly, and here he is!

But what I REALLY loved was her meeting with Thorin. I feel like the fandom often paints Dis as being very forgiving to the point of being dismissive, but I don't see her that way, and I'm glad you didn't go that route. She is a woman, but she is a Dwarf, and she can hold a grudge as well as any. I understand her anguish and her hatred, and I'm glad that her first meeting with Thorin was not tearful and happy, because it wouldn't have been. Fili and Kili followed him of their own volition, but they WERE following him, and that is what led to their deaths. That is something that requires work to forgive. I am sure that eventually she will manage it, but not now. Not yet. Poor Thorin, but we both know that my sympathy for him is a little thinner than most; he kind of deserved this. But after everything, I think it would be right to forgive him.

Beautiful work, darling!
Guest chapter 5 . 10/19/2015
Thorin being miserable and just the most flawed person ever even in the afterlife just makes me think he should commit double suicide or something. Sorry, that's just my opinion. And I hate stories where one character is the only one with all these failings and no redeeming traits and it's about how other people are so good for loving them still. I've never seen anything that has Thorin as a good brother to Dis ever. People can headcanon anything for them but it's always another thing that just makes him irredeemable to me.
Brave Wolf Heart chapter 5 . 10/3/2015
Yay! Dis' chapter! This was quiet perfect and, as usual, well written. I'm sad it's the last chapter though... but still, a great ending. I can just see Kíli bickering with Jolí! Don't all playful father and sons? My little brother and Dad certainly do. I really appreciated all of this, especially them being able to see each other at ages they willed. I was wondering about that. I'm just glad the whole family is back together, as they well should be! Thanks for making me smile (and hope/know that eventually Dis will forgive Thorin). :D
Ps. Wait! What about Dwalin?... Oh well. We love you anyway Dwalin. One day you'll see them again too.
Meysun chapter 5 . 9/30/2015
Ufff I am so sorry it took me so long - I just don't do anything save being on guard these last days to the point that I actually think the G8 should wonder about how to repay me my sleeping-debt :p.
But enough of me :).

This was interesting! You had written of Joli and Dis together before, but it was something new to see them interact physically together... a real comfort after your last sad chapter where you wrote about his death. I like this Dwarf - I don't imagine him same as you, but I love that he's blond and probably looking a lot like Fili.
It is so good to see Dis finally have everyone she loves around her - everyone save Dwalin. Somehow this Dwarf really breaks my heart and it makes me want so much to write about the moment when *he* will arrive... or read about it (hint, hint) :)! He is just so faithful and somehow I still think it unjust. Because somehow in the Halls, those who are childless and without One are more lonely than the others (see below).
I enjoyed how you distinguished Kili and Fili's reactions - such a nice mirror to your previous story when they were both children and burying their dad.
And I enjoyed seeing Dis meet her parents (thumbs up for Eydis, such an enigmatic Dwarrowdam, I loved the "thin as a blade"), and grandfather - ooooh you used mamarlûna! It felt so strange to see it written here, I actually had to blush, it quite moved me, never happened to me before to find a bit of me in another story...

And now - oh my, I am going to be an even better advocate for Thorin than Frerin does (by the way, your's is so sweet, and cute, and truly lovely, I just can't get enough of him)!
Oh Dis. She grieved for twenty-one years - seven for each Dwarf she lost in Erebor... It's such a long time, and there are only few sentences but you manage to convey to us just how deep and utterly unconsolable that grief was.
She faded away so quickly despite all her strength in No Sacrifice...
But still... I know she had a complicated relationship with Thorin. I know he pushed her, and bullied her more than one time in her life, was even rude to her concerning Joli... and I know he went mad, and failed, in Erebor.
But I still - somehow I still cannot rely to that anger, even if I understand it. I mean, she must have had plenty of time to think about Thorin also, to grieve for him, especially with Dwalin as a companion. Why is it she still judges him so harshly? He did not kill her sons. He did not summon the Orcs and the Goblins. All he did was beeing greedy, and hide between walls when he should have fought, because his mind was clouded and because his wounds just caught up on him.
She's so easy forgiving Thror : "death had even softened" him.
And it takes her only moments to let Thrain hold her again because "he did not know what he was doing", because she sees he is "himself again, the strong warrior and loving father from her childhood, not the violent madman of his later years, when exile, poverty and loss had driven him to despair."
And that's not fair! Replace 'father' by 'brother' and there you have Thorin... Of course, she understands, in the end, she strokes his hand and a good thing it is, because goodness would I have been Dis I would not have been able to see him stand there alone, no one comforting him (they probably all did before, but now Dis is there and even his mother doesn't back him up and it's so cruel...), alone with his guilt... I guess you are just too gifted in writing some little flaws in your Dis. It's just - there is no need slapping him, he already beat himself up ten-thousand times worse...
And I guess I also don't understand her fully because for me he's not guilty for his nephews' death. In this Fili shows more insight. I also guess he had more time reflecting.
Thorin just broke my heart here. It seems to me that everything he sacrificed - his youth, his innocence, the fact that he never had any One, that there are no sons here for him now that Joli is here, no loving presence at his side because Dis belongs with her family... I guess that save Frerin, Dwalin will be his biggest comfort in death, and he still has to wait such a long time.
There's just no one defending him, they all seem to have forgotten everything he gave them, and it's so *unfair* to judge someone by his last deeds! Especially someone who tried so hard, and who should be loved even more now that life proved him to be "human" and likely to fail...

I truly loved what you wrote, don't misunderstand me despite my outburst against Dis whom I think deep and a wonderful character as usual. But, because he takes all the blame while he went through the worst suffering of all, feeling guilty even dead - here I'm all for Thorin:). Wait. That's what I always do, don't I?
Anyway. Please go on because it's great as usual :). And take care.
Off to the guard I go now, hurray (Mahal, my kingdom for my bed)!
sorrellkaren chapter 5 . 9/29/2015
It was so nice to see Dis in the halls of mandos so young and happy with her family. it was touching and bittersweet and oh so well written. I loved the little cameo you have given Dwalin here as her guard in life and death. He lives much longer than any of them if I remember correctly. Thorin was sad and defeated before her. Even though the others had seemingly already forgiven him she still could not. I am glad you ended it with her love for her brother returned and his heart renewed with hope. Thorin was a product of his circumstance and not a bad dwarf as many may think him to be. As always you tug at the heartstrings but give the mind a satisfying read.
BlondiezHere chapter 5 . 9/29/2015
I love this. Brings to mind things I am wanting to do for a future story. Very well done.
ThatOtherWriterGirl chapter 5 . 9/29/2015
OH my, THAT was heartbreaking...and heart warming. Sorry they all died, but it was nice seeing the reunions. Poor Thorin, he was go guilt ridden. Well, Fili was too - inherited that from his uncle.
Loved their dad and his reunion with his boys and then Dis...he is one hot dwarf! No wonder they had to hot boys. ha ha.
thanks for sharing.
Brave Wolf Heart chapter 4 . 8/16/2015
Yes, Thorin, it's our failings that make real love so precious. It forgives, and keeps on loving.

That was very good! It was sad (I mean, they are dead and all) but it was also happy (The family's back together! Well, most of them anyway... Poor Dís.) and sweet (I love the way they interacted with each other. Just perfect...). You wrote everyone wonderfully, just as they are or as I imagine them. ;) Plus, that was a great song for Jóli and back story for Thorin and Dwalin. Yay! Nice job!
Nalbal chapter 4 . 6/3/2015
I... I am speechless. This has got to be, by far, the absolutely most perfect, most heart-wrenchingly exquisite 'canonical' post-BOFA story I have ever read to date. I avoid most of those, because I have this healthy obsession for happy endings, and it is extremely difficult for me to handle death fics. But this... this is beautiful. I have read a couple fics that have dealt with the afterlife but none that have resonated so heavily with me, or have so easily leapt into my own head-canon with such vigor. If you hadn't used Joli's name I still would've been convinced. This. Is. Canon.

I think one of the things I find most compelling about this story was your portrayal of "grief" in this dwarvish heaven. Yes, yes- I know this is the Hall of Mandos, and I'm not trying to shove my own Faith into places where people might be offended. But as a child I was always struck by the idea of there being tears jn Heaven, that those who die still can experience the pangs of loss and heartache, though there are those to comfort them. I confess that these thoughts have been in my mind when it comes to the dwarves' Afterlife. The few other things I have read of post-BOFA almost always seem to portray the dwarves as being like "Omg we are back together now yay! Oh dying sucks. Meh. Poor [relative who survived to grieve]... *sniffle*.. Oh well! Life goes on! Or death, as it were. Heehee." I mean, okay, that's all well and good... And I am by no means a lover of doom and gloom... But your choice of descriptions and interpretations made it all seem so much more real an believable, so palpable.

Side note, I am wholly in love with the whole tapestry of life thing you had going on there. Fantastic. Very clever and yet so completely simple and... expected? That seems an insulting word but I mean it in a truly positive way. People always talk of the "tapestry in life", but in such a beautifully abstract and poetic way, that you interpreting that as a literal thought is both delightfully unsurprising and yet beautiful! Thank you for this. I constantly reflect on my own life as a tapestry that builds on itself, constantly refer to it in this way in conversations with my closest friends... I am hopelessly in love with the thought of our beloved dwarves reflecting tearfully on their lives through this beautiful art. (But Frerin killed me with his dry humor. "Even on there it looks like I just fell asleep in the middle of a forest.")

And speaking of humor... I appreciate how wonderfully you blend humor into the darkness. I struggle with that, and envy writers who can get away with it so effortlessly. Kudos! Though, Kili... I was almost in tears during Thorin's original breakdown and then Kili just... made me voice the ugliest, most unfeminine snort of laughter that has ever left my throat. Thanks, you big dwarvish lug. Pfft.

There is such an authentic quality to your story that I spent an hour mulling over every word while relentlessly drumming my feet on my bed in blissful agony. And when it finished I was... strangle satisfied. More than that, I am at peace.

Oh yes, and this is definitely a new and huge favorite. Well done. 3
Meysun chapter 4 . 3/30/2015
That was definitely an even better ending to your story than even chapter 3 - which means a lot! I loved to see how your wrote Frerin and Thorin - and the way Dwalin took care of Thorin too. Beautifully written (the rest in a PM) !
Italian Hobbit chapter 4 . 3/21/2015
*tosses self off a cliff*


Oh man... I love how you've characterized Frerin here, and how you've used his presence to give Thorin some more closure and then a new beginning, as well. He has his brother again... as we discussed, I feel like he and Fíli are so similar, and now the boys will be able to see him more as he should have been in life, which is absolutely beautiful. ;u;
ninayasmijn chapter 4 . 3/13/2015
I'm bawling my eyes eyes out now. This is so sad yet not..
Love this fic!

I'm very bed at reviews so they are short. Just asking, is Frerin's dead cannon or did you make this story?

I don't want to sound rude or mean or upset you or sound pushy or anything like that, but i'd love a scene when Dis finally arrives and meets them all again 3
I'm also going to try and write that myself (it will suck though)
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