|Reviews for Partners|
| GoldeN ViZionZ chapter 1 . 10/15
That’s a yikes from me dog, you went on this whole rant about how you knew what you were doing and what direction the story was headed in with the kirisuna, but you never got there. This is very frustrating as a reader who clicked on this story expecting to see kirisuna only to be promised it would be great and then have you not even get there. I believe this is another reason why pairing them up early would have been better. Regardless what I read of this story (sao arc) was good but it could have been great had you provided what most of your readers wanted. After the sao arc i decided to see if you even got to the part where romance bloomed and seeing that you didn’t made me sad and feel like reading the rest of the story wouldn’t be worth it. As a story it was great, but as a kirisuna fan it was dissapointing. Either way I will be keeping this story favorited just because of the potential it had. Good luck on your other fics
| GoldeN ViZionZ chapter 39 . 10/15
The further I get in this story the more frustrated I become about all of the love tension between asuna and kirito. I still enjoy this story but I feel like it would have been so much better if they were a couple. They clearly care for each other and interact sort of like a couple (they hold hands a lot and always hug each other) so I don’t know why you just didn’t make it official. When they get together better be magical. But even if it is I still believe it would have been better to get them together earlier. Reading this and waiting is complete torture for me because of how much tension there is but I guess that is why I have read 39 chapters in one day.
| GoldeN ViZionZ chapter 28 . 10/15
Personally feel like this would have been a really good time to get them together but I can wait as long as the wait is worth it. But if you discontinued this story before they ever get together that would make me mad.
| Guest chapter 21 . 10/14
While I quite loved the beginning of the fic (the idea was excellent) I do not think I'll be able to continue this story after this A/N. In all honesty, I do not see how they would not be together by this point 'normally'. And if not, then I do not think it'd be even remotely realistic for them to get together that far after SAO. It'd seem too much like "I spent so much time with you let's just get together", not quite the "we have great chemistry and things kind of just spontaneously advanced in a pique of fluff"-natural approach. I rather though the whole Yui arc was exceptionally odd without them being together and/or getting together during/directly after (I'm perfectly fine being called mama, and for this guy I don't like enough to get together with being called papa!), and seemed rather forced. I think it would have been much better saved until after they got together. I am a fan of romantic tension between characters as much as the next person, but there comes a time where is starts to get ridiculous. I personally do not see the problem with them getting together 'later on'-midway through the SAO arc or even nearer the end if written right (though given their chemistry and proximity, sooner than cannon would make more sense). You can just as easily write a scene with them in control of themselves and not all lovey-dovey if that is the reasoning; the main issue being some additional affection/priority shown towards the other in dire situations (but as Asuna stated she'd be lost without Kirito in this fic already, this shouldn't have any impact whatsoever).
I realize I'm debating to a blank wall at this point, but I'm quite put out after seeing the awesome plot idea, the characters involved in it, the near limitless potential of how and when they could get together, and then getting in this far into a well-written story, only to get slapped in the face. It should really clearly state this in the beginning A/N of the first chapter so readers know what to expect. 7/10 for the story (minor errors, both spelling/grammar and plot), 1/10 for the execution. The 1 being for some interesting tension moments throughout these beginning chapters.
They care for each other? Yes.
A lot? Yes.
Enough to rather die than lose the other? Yes.
They have good chemistry? Yes.
No prior commitments/baggage? Yes.
Do they like each other, in general? Yes.
Are they in a stressful environment, which is perfect for getting couples together? Yes.
Will they get together, even if only directly before the big boss battle when they likely believe they could die? No. And probably not until the end of the second game arc, if even that.
The logic is strong with this one.
| Guest chapter 21 . 9/30
COME on seriously
| Guest chapter 13 . 9/30
| Eien no kami chapter 14 . 9/10
| Eien no kami chapter 14 . 9/10
| JKArcanus chapter 33 . 8/26
This feels like a spur of the moment kind of idea. If your going to give her a unique skill it shouldn't be this close to the end. The critique of the skill itself I will leave to the other reviews regarding it, as I agree with most of them suggesting it's a poor choice in the current form for various reasons. I also think both her reaction in leaving immediately after while ignoring him and telling heathcliffe first if anyone don't make much sense at this point.
| JKArcanus chapter 21 . 8/26
The frustration, from my end, is that it's not about which chapter or at what word count they finally get together. I can, and have, read 500k word stories where the pairing didn't get together until the end and enjoyed that about them. It's about them getting together, or not, when it makes sense within the internal timeframes and contexts of those stories. I love them together, and I don't mind seeing them in a more drawn out relationship coupling compared to canon but honestly, you timeskipped over most of when that would have happened if it was going to, and if they aren't already by now with all the stuff they've been through...I don't know that it does actually make sense for them to get together or ever, and you should have just left it not Kirisuna as was your original intention. There's a point at which that ship sails without anything ever happening, and I think that makes more sense here...largely as a result of your late game change of intention. Also, whether that's true or not, with your current plan of postponing their coming together still further for so long, the same remains true that the next couple of years, effectively will be teasing fluff (which is either completely inappropriate on one hand or torture on the other) and hardship such that the end result isn't all the sweeter and more enjoyable to read as you claim. There's a point at which that stops being true and it's either just bitter or cloying, and neither is enjoyable. It's this that has caused the gut reaction in so many of your reviewers. That said, I can respect your decision, and this cloud hanging over and coloring everything differently, your content is well written and fun to read in the moment (though you often allow for ignore the mechanics of the game and handwave away the characters ability levels in order to orchestrate the drama you want).
| JKArcanus chapter 15 . 8/26
I know this is discontinued and it's not going to change, but for other readers, here goes...I don't mind slow burn, at all. It can be very satisfying. Even with them having been partnered from the beginning I wasn't anticipating them getting together as quickly as they did in canon, as they were different people then, so I have been patient in that regard. That said, they are now past the point at which they are together in canon, having been close that entire time...them not being together by now seems artificial, whatever the great plan the author notes keep touting. However, that alone would probably not bother as much, knowing that the story continues well past floor 75 and they had time, if it wasn't coupled with the disservice to the involvement of Yui. The extreme poignance of who she is to them is cheapened dramatically by stuffing her presence in their lives to essentially 24 hours, compared to living as an actual family for all that time before. That this is exacerbated by them not being together yet and thus making it feel even less familial is even worse. That Asuna is just as distraught is annoying, not because I don't want her upset, but because it's lazy...you wanted the result/effect without the effort of the cause. If you wanted to get her out of the way so you could get them back to the front lines, you could have just waited till later to introduce her once they were together and you could focus on them as family since your already extending their presence in game. Heck, half the reason she was drawn to them and sought them out was the loving life they made together as a couple, which they don't even have yet, even if she still uses that as a rationale, citing their vacation time.
| Time Traveler chapter 5 . 8/25
a lot of information about game details is a little off
for example, you can't see someone's level at will and their inventory is also invisible unless it is made visible.
| Andrew Kautlitz chapter 63 . 8/22
Man... This is heartbreaking, but I understand it. If the thrill is gone, if you are not feeling pleased with what you are doing, what you are writing and throwing out there for all to see, well, it's not easy to feel a want to do it. Believe me I get it. For what it's worth, it was an amazing story filled with Ups and downs. Great development and creativity. All of us who've read it will take a piece of it for the rest of our lives. In short thank you and I hope you keep doing great things and maybe someday, somewhere, this story inspires someone else to write. And that in turn helps you find it in yourself to get back at it and end it. If not you've done great. As a fan I'm saddened but as a human I understand and wish you the best!
| Andrew Kautlitz chapter 41 . 8/19
Man I'm speechless. The explanation behind her survival, the meeting between all of them. The sweet moment between Kirito and Asuna. This chapter was just bliss. Once again great job! Amazing closing to a really amazing mesmerising first part. Can't wait to see what you do next.
| Andrew Kautlitz chapter 39 . 8/19
Contrary to what most people would probably say, I loved the whole marriage scene. It was both sweet and touching while funny and realistic. The development between them is off the charts and I'm looking forward to everything you have planned. If anything I'm just a tad worried for Asuna's well being after SAO. Cudos my friend cudos!