very good story loved it it had an plot and wasint just you triditional find out about remus the prak james and lily fic nice thanks you cheered me up smiles

That was amazing!

i think your fanfic is really good but just one thing lily's last name is evans not burns.

i love this story! keep writing! I am definately gonna go and read the Wereworf now!

Just thought I'd tell you that you gave Lily the wrong last name. She's Lily Evans, not Lily Burns. Don't worry, I didn't know it either until I read an interview with J.K. Rowling. If you could change that one minor detail I'm sure many other people, along with myself, will read more of this story.

-Evenstar

P.S. I just read this and realized I sound like Hermione. Sorry if you were offended by that. I actually think it's rather funny. Bye!

I really like this story! I also like the sequal or the next one. I thought that it was very creative and I dont think that many could think on something like basically im saying that i really liked this. :-D

I love this story!

Andy dear, am amazed at how much you've improved. This story ROX, but not nearly as much as LOS.

Niceness:

I like the storyline - it's clever and involved. Your storylines are always superlative.

Characterisation is spot on, particularly Dumbleydore. I love Dumbleydore in this for some reason. James is also gute.

Just in general, this is very well-written, scarcely any SPG errors.

Nice descriptions, just lots' an' lots of goodness. *grin*

Criticism (constructive, naturally) :)

The storyline didn't unravel with quite the skill that I'm accustomed to seeing from you. Mind you, that's perfectly understandable seeing as this is your first story et al.

"Everyone was impressed with how James had cracked the secret message, but he usually shrugged it off. He was very modest." - the last sentence there seems to state the obvious, and it's not as subtle as much of your later writing is. I'm just using that as an example of how your technique has advanced.

Overall (has written too many English essays), I like it very much. Cannot believe I only just got around to finishing it. Onto 'The Werewolf', then!

*mad schnugs*

~Lou~

*grin* Hey again. Love the dialogue between, well, pretty much everyone in this chapter. Particularly Sirius' reaction to Lily's detention - 'Girls! They don’t understand that detention is an art.' is just priceless.

I also enjoy the little Sirius/James exchanges, I can imagine them very vividly.

I must say that your grammar has improved since the writing of this - there are a few little errors, such as starting a sentence with "and", and so on. Overall, I like this chapter very much and am orf to read the next one. ;)

Hey Andy, am finally reading this. A few quibbles and comments below:

"3:30AM in the morning" - 'in the morning' is redundant there.

"Is that a threat, er, ugly?’ James said coolly." - *grin* Great line, that. The Sorting Hat song is bien aussi.

Left-handers are *not* sinister! I am one myself, y'know.

Merp. You used one of your pet hates - an A/N. Don't you like lamb, childe?

*grins* I love the lemonade being referred to as 'troll sweat'. Nice touches, the humour.

Hrm. Introduction to Remus is a little odd, but hey, at least it's original.

:) Good start. Must read the rest...

Cool story!

I loved it! It's nice to have a realistic story where there aren't 11 year-olds falling in love.

I realy like it so far! You have a great talent for descriptions and writing in general.

write more

Lily Burns? Even J.K.R. says it's Lily Evans. You need some serious research.