|Reviews for Starting Point|
| cake0108 chapter 1 . 12/3/2016
| Nikaya chapter 1 . 6/30/2016
Another great story by you guys! I loved the way the adults were portrayed. Skye is so much like Ash, and Lizzie is a spitting image of Paul! I hope she warms up a little! Great job!
| Tropicallight chapter 1 . 1/29/2016
Uh now that story makes more sense. It was amazing. I was really excited at the time of battle. I had no idea about the winner but I was rooting for both. I thought Paul will soften up towards her daughter or vice versa.
| ChocoChipKitty chapter 1 . 12/16/2015
And... I dunno. This was so amazing, I have lots to say, but I don't really know how to say it all. First off, the match ending in a draw was perfect. And I also liked Paul and Ash's choices of Pokemon. :3 The battle was epic - fast paced, but not too much so. And as for Skye and Lizzie's interactions, they were really interesting, and I can't wait to see more of these two! :D
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/12/2015
Paul is from Veilstone not Hearthome. But excellent chapter for sure.
| Catherine45 chapter 1 . 3/25/2015
This was amazingggg! Absolute perfect! God! I have no words, really.
The way you've described each and everything tells how much effort you've put into this. Your writing skills are fantastic, I must say.
Ash and Paul's rivalry had always been kinda fierce(specially on Paul's part) but a really strong one and you did a great job, I mean, the way they battled and all and Paul knew Ash wouldn't choose Pikachu etc. This was so real.
Skye and Lizzie are adorable, though both of them are the complete copies of their dads but whatever, I love them. Mind you, I like all of your fankids. ;) And I know how much you're obsessed with the fankids, but who's complaining?
One more thing, how in the world did you manage to write a battle that impressively? We all know that battle is the hardest part to write in a fic. Well, I'm amazed.
Misty and Dawn were so in character, which is definitely a good sign.
The plot! I loved the story line, the flow, the characterization, the interactions between the characters, the battle, Dawn straightening Paul's scarf (the cutest moment), hence every thing. Awesome! Keep it up!
| Intensity215 chapter 1 . 2/13/2015
I find this to be a funny coincidence because I just finished watching the three episodes of their battle in the sinnoh leauge conference. This really was a very interesting story and I loved seeing ash with misty, and Paul with Dawn. And their daughters seem like really interesting characters. I really enjoyed reading this, and I hope to read more from you in the future.
| Chilledcoolcat chapter 1 . 2/8/2015
That was wonderful! I hope I get to see more of your stories in the future!
| espeonsweetie chapter 1 . 1/30/2015
There is nothing more that I can add that anyone else has already said. I can only scream and squeal as I sit here with my mouth agape and practically clapping for this amazing story. All those posts about you struggling to work through this battle was so WORTH IT! You could feel every emotion you wanted to convey. Hype, anxiety, suspense... dear lord it was written so WELL!
And then the beautiful way you mixed in Lizzie and Skye? Oh my god. I love them both to death and if you are thinking of writing another fic with them and other fankids in it, I might just die. There were so many parallels in this story I just loved it (read it like 3 times). And then the ending oh dear god please just hold me. You inserted that feeling of wanting to cheer for both of the girls! Neither one will bring anything less than everything they've got and they're definitely going to give one hell of a battle just as their dads did. Incredible work, Caroline!
| Farla chapter 1 . 1/29/2015
Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.
Dialogue is written as "Hello," she said or "Hello!" she said, never "Hello." She said or "Hello." she said or "Hello," She said or "Hello" she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn't contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it's written as "Hello." She grinned, never "Hello," she grinned or "Hello," She grinned or "Hello." she grinned. Note that something isn't a speech verb just because it's a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you're breaking up two complete sentences it's "Hi," she said. "This is it." not "Hi," she said, "this is it." or "Hi," she said "this is it." And if you're breaking up a sentence in the middle, it's "Hi. This," she said, "is it." The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don't use quotation marks with thoughts.
You wouldn't capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn't capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you're using it as the pokemon's name, ie, Ash's pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it's a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you're thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
| LadyDae chapter 1 . 1/29/2015
So I guess we can count of a generational rivalry between all Paul's and Ash's descendants. And I bet I know exactly what pokemon Lizzie is going to choose too. I can just imagine what Lizze and Skye's rivalry would be like. I also loved you characterization of Skye and Lizzie. Lizzie isn't as cold as Paul is. In fact, she kind of reminds me of my sister. On the other hand, Skye is just like her dad, maybe a little more subdued, but definitely with the same gusto, confidence, and unwavering zeal as her dad. Great story. Keep up the good work.
| magnadram0n chapter 1 . 1/28/2015
If I had to define this fic in 3 words, I'd say it was gripping, intelligent, and gorgeous. But my feelings can't be summed up in 3 simple words with how much I loved this.
The easy transitions and witty, quick dialogue were so immersive and natural, nothing felt out of place or harsh, but flowed, rather. Everything, from the harsh battle between Infernape and Electivire to the fun and innocent conversations between Lizzie and Skye, were incredibly on point.
The battle in and of itself is fantastic. Where most drag on, fall flat, or seem cliche, this one had me digging my nails into the palms of my hands and biting my lip in excitement. Never have I been able to so easily visualize a written battle before, and being able to so perfectly capture the excitement and tension in something that is more often than not better to watch than read, is a talent in and of itself.
This fic was a breath of fresh air, with every character vibrant in their own individual ways, never once swaying personality traits or seeming out of character. The addition of Skye and Lizzie only helps that point, with their future rivalry teased at the end, I can't wait to see what more comes from those two.
Beautifully written, well paced, and all in all, gorgeously put together, this showcases a talent of writing that hopefully the community sees more of, and I can't wait to see.
| Shadow'sDelight chapter 1 . 1/28/2015
WOW, this was a really great and intense story! I enjoyed every minute of it!
| I am Lu chapter 1 . 1/28/2015
Caroline, I hope you know that you have no reason to be self-conscious of your writing. The fact this is one of your first serious pieces in a while amazes me; if I approached this as someone who didn't know your history, I would undoubtedly think this was the work of an expert writer who's been refining their skills for years.
The quote at the beginning so wonderfully sets the tone for the entire story, and it immediately pulls me into what certainly is a masterful combination of nostalgia and fresh perspective. Your characterization of Paul, Ash, Misty, and Dawn are spot-on, and the dynamic between them is engaging and realistic. And, of course, there are Lizzie and Skye, who are such well-rounded, vibrant characters in their own right.
I have to offer special commendation for the battle. Battles that are not only interesting, but emotionally satisfying, are one of the most difficult things to write in Pokefic, and you did wonderfully. It was suspenseful; it was intense. I'm serious when I say I will likely reference your writing here the next time I need to write a battle.
I could not fathom a more perfect ending, either. It was not only a great revisitation to the DP series, it brought the whole story full circle. It was open-ended, but also incredibly satisfying.
Be proud of this - you deserve it. And thank you for sharing it with us.
| kasuria chapter 1 . 1/28/2015
I'm honestly just so impressed with this. I know this is the first big thing you've written, and it just impresses me even further. You have so much raw writing talent, and I hope you continue to hone in on it! You're able to capture voices and tone so well, it's extremely easy to visualize the characters and all the interactions feel so natural and flow well. The bits of ikari and poke were super cute and I definitely felt them.
The battle was incredibly written. It easily wrapped me in and had be sitting on the edge of the seat-it felt like I was watching a well done battle from the anime. You captured the heat of battle so well, and the parallels to Ash and Paul's original league battle to this one while adding new interesting developments was really cool.
In general the parallels were well done, I like how the new rivalry mirrors the old one, but is also something different from it. The quotes at the beginning and end only added to the shivers I got while reading.
You should be really proud! I can't wait to see what else you'll write in the future! owo