|Reviews for The Burning Bone|
| Chikeninacoop chapter 8 . 2/3
it's so wierd how you made Naruto say the cringiest shit like stop. srsly
| ankurubureka chapter 24 . 1/20
Amazing story are you going to continue
| Foxy-Floof chapter 15 . 1/7
Well, greedy cheapskates are still birds of a feather. Guess this is Jiraiya's in.
Ahh, the old man's not so bad...
| Foxy-Floof chapter 11 . 1/7
Wow... Naruto's kind of an insensitive douchecanoe...And suddenly I like him less. In this story at least.
I figured they would go back to their parents and do an about-face to stick together if they care so much!
| Foxy-Floof chapter 10 . 1/7
Oh Naruto... you better find Danzo, and quickly. You're going to get in over your head. You haven't even tasted their product, never mind read the contract for things like, "We reserve the right to use your name and image as we see fit, regardless of any other contracts or provisions of this contract or contract's limitations."
| Foxy-Floof chapter 9 . 1/7
Wow... How about that? Naruto did it. He killed Gaara.
On the plus side, no Ichibi, and Naruto's not exhausted. Downside, he doesn't know the Kage Bunshin, so no multi-clones with Shikkotsu Myakku.
| Foxy-Floof chapter 8 . 1/7
This whole timeline has been bothering me for some reason...
But I know I really like it... I'm so conflicted.
What even do?
| Foxy-Floof chapter 6 . 1/7
*whistles* This is a different take on things. And no lie, I can totally see Konohamaru doing this. Ebisu was filling his head with arrogant shit about how just being related to someone makes you better...
And yeah, I can see Gaara's death as an option if you're cold and pragmatic about the numbers of lives saved by killing him before he's unleashed.
| Foxy-Floof chapter 3 . 1/7
I don't like this Naruto as much. Honestly, he's missing that spark, that extra something that he has in canon. And this Hiruzen is much more narrow-minded, as well as making more blind assumptions.
Danzo's not as bad as in canon, though...
| Plot Bull chapter 1 . 1/3
People like to play fast and loose with bloodlines because for the longest time Naruto readers didn't know Naruto's parents and what special tricks thay had.
Sharingan, Dead bone pulse, Ice realise, etc.
But Naruto isn't a blank slate. After enough changes jts best to just make an OC with a somewhat believable background; the child of visiting Kaguya clansmen from before the purges, the leftover of Orochimaru's orphan experiments, an attempt by Danzo to reinstate the Kaguya in Konoha.
Nope, Naruto just magically has dead bone pulse instead of an unstoppable chakra monster in his lower intestines. Naruto is closer related to Hinata than the Kaguya, even closer to the Uchiha and closer still to the Shinju.
Still ignoring all that, you broke a principal rule of storytelling; show, don't tell. Say that Naruto is smart or driven all you want, we'll be the final judge of that and we'll base judgement off of his words, actions and thoughts. Not the author preaching at us for the first 1500 words. We can go to work or college if we wanted to be treated like idiots who can't formulate our own opinions.
Kisimoto never explicitly called out Naruto for being stealthy, crafty or driven. We see him painting a monument in a village of ninjas, and we assume he's kind of sneaky, maybe situationally clever. And after seeing his boastful personality and lack of academic success, we can tell he's kind of a halfwit.
Only after the forbidden scroll incident do we start to see positives to Naruto's personality, how he really cares for people that get to know him and his drive to help them.
Here we are just told that he's smart, skilled, second best ninja of his year, overcomes Kakashi's bell test without his teammates, and that he unlocked DBP from drinking chocolate milk.
Yeah. Just OC 'em. Really missing personality here, and him technically being Naruto won't help there at all.
DBP Naruto can be done great, but most fall into the broody and serious trap; not realizing that it kills the soul of a Naruto fic. Much better to just be Naruto with DBP for all the "Wat." dialog that can come from him having a known bloodline.
DBP is cool, but Sage mode makes it obsolete.
Anyway, not nearly as bad as some Harry Potter fics out there. Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.
| grimreaper40045 chapter 1 . 12/29/2017
this is a mini kazuku
| Marilyn Mondongo chapter 1 . 12/20/2017
I just started to re-read your story after a long time away of FFNET and the only thing I want to say right now is that I love the way the chapter titles form a poem, or the lyrics of a song -I'm not sure-, I fucking love it.
| Born2BeGodLike chapter 24 . 12/17/2017
Story was alright but wasn't that great and ino x naruto currently bull. Story not bad but it currently not great. It need more chapters. Also that naruto x hana sex kind ruin the story for those came for naruto blood line and naruino pairing. This fic dead to me but did cure my need to read something new.
| Atheist god chapter 4 . 12/9/2017
you killed shikayou murderer...
| Xion The XIV chapter 24 . 12/2/2017
Frankly from what I am seeing. One of 2 things need to happen. Frankly Naruto needs to come into the point of knowing even if he is Hokage he can not always protect everyone. So if the war does happen one of 2 things need to happen well the third one would be interesting but probably wont ever happen. One of the 3 people Naruto cares about the most must die. And they need to die in a brutal fashion to know it is because they are friends with a Namikaze. First could be Choji.
Because of what Naruto remembers of Choji he was gentle and kind and to just be killed brutally would hurt Naruto. Next would be Asuma. This one for 2 reasons Will hurt Naruto harder and will hurt Konohamaru into turning him into what Naruto became when Jiraya was killed.
Sadly for my third option Ino could die. Frankly for her to die it would have to be brutal and we all know how most places have on Female prisoners of war.
Either of these deaths could be the building blocks for war time Naruto into taking no prisoners. It said that the Third war started because of Iwagakure. The fact that they would start the 4th war too would only prove to Naruto that they can't be trusted. Even with the flimsy excuse of the Daimyō's children died during a war that they started.