|Reviews for The Universe Adrift|
| Su No Yo chapter 4 . 6/18/2016
Oooooh, and just *who* could this be? A sneaky, dark-haired ninja who *might* be one of the Shadows (Hono-Yingzi?), one who adores Tayo and is adored back.
I wonder if Zuko and his current partner would be content to string people along for a time, keeping things discreet and secretive, or if they're going to announce it shortly. Shall I assume that the netsuke and inro/sagemono are used to hold his identity seals and things.
Loving that Zuko's doing very well as Fire Lord and that his personal holdings are still going strong. For the record though, you should use words, not numbers in a story as it's more professional looking.
I also like the fact that you had Toph learn to read because she's the Greatest Earthbender in the World. I wonder if she would call Zuko the Greatest Firebender in the World or not.
I shouldn't *have* to comment on how adorable it is that Zuko gets on so well with children or that he uses Tayo to help 'read' his suitors to get a bead on them. It's not just getting approval from his mothers that matter, it's Zuko testing the suitors to see if they'll accept his mothers as well.
| Guest chapter 4 . 6/17/2016
Interesting, very interesting.
| annelise311 chapter 3 . 2/19/2015
This is a great idea it should be turned to a full fledged story!
| Kally Lass chapter 3 . 2/19/2015
I *told you NOT TO DO THE CREEPY!*
Poor, poor Zuko.
Typo: /his scared face/ - while I don't doubt the inner-Zuko *is* scared, I'm sure you mean 'scarred'.
Heh, Xue Kho - am I to assume 'kho' is an actual name in an Asian country, or is it just here for the puns? And the slight, slight allusion to the McCreepy Lord, Koh the Face Stealer.
I don't care what you say, the minute the GAang find out about the mindbending they go and here the *obviously mindbent FN guy* to find out what happened. Then poor fifteen year old Zuko (in mind) gets hit with . . . fifteen years of trauma, the event that happened at sea, being sold into indentured servitude (and *no one* rescuing him), maybe the stuff with Agni if he remembers it (and assumes it wasn't just a hallucination for comfort purposes) - and then he'd feel even more betrayed, and *then* everything that happened to him under the Dai Li's control.
. . .
There's no way this will turn out will for him at all. Massive, massive breakdown ahead.
He's not going to be feeling charitable to *anyone* except the GAang after this. At least it's an equal enmity?
Still better than remaining Xue Kho.
Also, I choose to see the /gliding steps eerily reminiscent of how the Dai Li move/ as a hope spot; he still has his inner grace and there's some part of him that's still aware and fighting to get out.
Additional typos: /turned [...] walks off/ - you start off in the past tense (/turned/) and finish in present (/walks/). It's either 'turns [...] walks' OR 'turned [...] walked'.
/with a gliding steps/ - you don't need the 'a' there.
Stupid creepy factor.
Now go write something amusing, adorable or badass. Haven't you traumatised Zuko enough in these AUs yet? First Kasai abducts him and kills two of his family members basically 'before his eyes' and he's powerless to stop her. And he's still partially 'amnesiac' too. Then he's Fire Lord without any preparation and seeing mind healers.
Then you mindbend him. Twice!
Go be nice to Zuko, after fourteen total chapters in the Adriftverse he's had . . . three or four nice ones. And one of those involves him being a homeless wanderer terrified of anyone vaguely military looking, and *another* is of him being *found* by the FN military and nearly killing himself in a panic attack.
You go be nice to Zuko now. :P
| lawliness chapter 3 . 2/19/2015
Hahaha I rarely see fics with brainwashed!zuko and I'll say this fic sets the benchmark
| Kally Lass chapter 2 . 2/18/2015
The thing that's so chilling about this is how *not*-chillingly it's presented. The end section is written as a mildly formal introduction, nothing more; and the readers are left to wonder just *how* this came about.
Was Zuko tortured and mind-bent into this?
Is Zuko *still* mind-bent and nothing more than Long Feng's puppet?
What happened when he remembered *exactly* how he came to end up in indentured servitude? Was that hate, fear and betrayal twisted into contempt for the FN as a whole or was it treated compassionately?
So many questions, but all ultimately boiling down to one:
What happened and *how*?
Creepy in its *lack* of creepiness.
(As an aside I like the image of a Zuko with a very long braided topknot (isn't his 'ponytail' called a phoenix tail in the show?), it's somehow very exotic because it's so unusual. And kind of worrying. And I'm a little envious that he can grow his hair so long so quickly.)
I assume the story behind the SotDWS is still the same in TBCA? Infiltrated the palace and taught Zuko a few things here and there, and was the one who got Piandao to notice Zuko and teach him?
I like the little comment he makes about Zuko being naturally graceful *when he allows himself to be*; you can see it a lot in the show when he plays around with/switches between/uses different fighting and bending styles.
Hope you get better soon Phantom, those children you babysat must have given you something!
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/4/2015
Hillarious! Straight to the point. No need for Avatar.