Reviews for You're my Density
ironhair chapter 25 . 20h
Why didn't Hermione have don't track snape as well? That should have been something they ought to have considered.
writersblock159 chapter 33 . 9/16
And with that the circle closes, the lights fade, and the curtain drops.
This piece is your second most unique time travel fanfic. I do enjoy reading it, and I have to admit referring to Dobby as Yoda will remain with me for life. ( on a slightly related note I do occasionally write Harry Potter fanfiction and I would appreciate it if I could get your permission to use that joke/ confused term for Dobby.)
I believe the first time I read this I had come straight from Different Halloween so I was a bit surprised to see a good Dumbledore.
And now I critique.
I am not a fan of the last few books. However despite Jo's mistakes as a writer, I will give her this much.
Dumbledore's death had an effect, and a point.
The death of Dumbledore in this one, as much as I enjoyed the story, was lacking a reason.
Dismiss me if you like, I have read the bolded text on your profile page, however this is just me as a Critic and a writer.
In this story, Dumbledore's death served no purpose other than to hurt the characters, and by extension the readers.
If I am wrong I hope you will correct me and explain what you were trying to accomplish.
Other than that, this piece has little to no flaws, and I did enjoy reading it.
As always thank you, your work is underappreciated in a world where we all need something to keep us occupied.
Hairypotter4real chapter 33 . 9/12
Lockhart beat Voldemort (?) for Harry. What a letdown, ending needs lots of work!
Kai chapter 31 . 9/5
I don't think that punishment, any punishment, will prevent people from wreaking havoc again when the pureblood virus bites again. They're inherently convinced that they are better than everyone else, so everyone HAS to do their bidding, or else. Those convicted Death Eaters have families. Draco won't suddenly become a nice guy just because Daddy is in Azkaban. Not even taking all their wealth will neutralise them. They just become bitter and teach the next generation accordingly.

Think about it: How old is the death penalty? How old are penalties anyway? How old are codified penalties? Ten thousand years? Five thousand? And still human society fights crimes so vile that death should be the only acceptable solution. How many people commit crimes just after a convict has been executed for those same crimes, and with a big hoopla in the media about the case and execution?

No punishment is a deterrent! Never has been.
slstanekt chapter 9 . 9/5
I don't agree with the one chance you give harry a way to get back his memories is so easily tossed aside and down so it was painful. The amount of time that could be saved with his magical knowledge up to fourth would be invaluable.
BruceTN chapter 33 . 9/2
One of the few FF stories worth a second read, by one of the extremely few authors capable of a story worth a second read.
BerserkLittleCook chapter 28 . 9/2
Hi!
I just wanted to leave a few thoughts behind before I leave for new pastures.
First of all, I love how the story began. This remark should be under the first chapter, but I was too engrossed in reading. The first scene with Brandon and Martin, the whole lead up before Harry appeared was wonderful. Made me want to read a story about a 20 year old Harry and his muggle life. The a wild Hermione appeared and brought so much potential. And then, when they were in the bedroom, I remembered that it's a time travel story.
That leads to number two - it's not the story I expected. The whole lead up made me so hyped for the story, but not the story I got. I would very much rather read a story of Hermione trying to keep Harry alive in Voldemort's world and Harry trying to keep his muggle way. I was kind of disappointed when I remember it's a time travel story, because that's not the story that the beginning promised. You did promise time travel in the description, but what the story tells has higher priority. Moving on...
The third thought: Harry lost his teeth. Or rather, his characters specific traits introduced in the couple few chapters get lost in the later ones amongst all the new introduced characters. Character is one of the most important things in a story and the reason readers read. It just shows where my fourth thought comes from, namely...
#4 - There is a trap in wanting to show too much. It's not just about your story. Lately I noticed that about many stories, including mine. We just want to show our vision and help the reader understand, but the effects may be different. The reader can get lost or bored by our explanations and additional scenes and all the little details we want to smuggle into the story. Human attention seems to be rather scarce, so I find it more effective to keep it simple. For example, you wrote a lot about the summer holidays betweeen year 1&2. You gave a lot of information in a few paragraphs and I got bored by it and found it was irrelevant to the story. It was something about visiting Longbottoms and the Black Island and everyone was having fun etc. It was boring. You actually can give the same information in other ways, make characters talk about it, write a short scene in that environment when something really happens or just a joke scene about how Harry still doesn't understand wizard logic. Or you could skip it altogether and act as though everyone knew about it. Readers need reminding of stuff anyway, so you remind them if it's important, and if it's unimportant then you can ignore it and not evem write about it in the first place.
That would be all.
Thank you for writing this story. I'm now dropping it simply because I lost interest, but I still like how you wrote the first half and am going to search for something similar. Maybe you have something else written? I'll have a look.
Cheers
u888320 chapter 21 . 8/27
Enjoyable story. Just read the Gilderoy/Harry honor duel scene where “Gilderoy’s stunner hardly reached Harry.” That suggested a scene I don’t think I’ve read anywhere: a weak wizard casts a spell that fizzles out and dies as a brown spot on the floor (or wilts a few blades of grass if outdoors) at the feet of the intended victim. Fun story, thanks for sharing.
Guest chapter 33 . 8/23
wow! This was another creative time travel story. I loved nice Dursley's. Voldy and Goldy were hilarious! Thank you for sharing with all of us!
BerserkLittleCook chapter 1 . 8/19
And the Halloween costumes, hope you continue to be so hilarious!
BerserkLittleCook chapter 1 . 8/19
Yoda appeared and used the force!made my day
Guest chapter 9 . 8/13
At that moment...

Ron and Percy realized...

That they really screwed up.
Guest chapter 8 . 8/11
At that moment...

Parvati and Lavender realized...

That they really screwed up.
Maxthedragon chapter 26 . 8/10
"Harry Potter used the 'fuck off curse'" is pure gold that had me laughing for 20 minutes.
Meganthompson chapter 3 . 8/4
This might be my fave fanfic ever. And I’m a total fic snob
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