|Reviews for Busy Stars|
| SpecH82T chapter 8 . 3/7/2015
It’s a great idea for a story, but not my kind of thing, usually when people put Shepard in a story, I fall asleep and he or she is so overrated it’s almost annoying.
It would have been fun to read a big world builder with no Reapers, they are so boring it’s almost laughable, still people use them, probably because it’s easy, hell I’d rather the council and humanity waged a war against the Protoss from Starcraft, even if they would lose, still that would have been refreshing and more fun to read or some other enemy, than the skin change and back to the overall mass effect arc that usually happens and this story seems to move that way, I may be wrong though.
| Lone Gundam chapter 8 . 3/7/2015
The Council will probably do something stupid like banning those missiles just to pull humanities' teeth. Though it brings a smile to my face to see XCOM running circles around the Alliance.
| SpecH82T chapter 4 . 3/7/2015
humanity is weak and will become a puppet to the council, boring.. or so it seems, i'll read the rest of the chapters to see if this prediction comes trough.
| SpecH82T chapter 3 . 3/7/2015
Haven't decided on this story yet,have to read a few more chapters.
| timedraven117 chapter 8 . 3/7/2015
Please try to restrict first person to Shepherd, it looks so much nicer and neater that way, and also reduces confusion in it all as well. Failing that, make separate chapters being only 1 persons viewpoint to again reduce the confusion factor.
Also reread and reread your chapter for editing purposes, or get an editor. You got Muton right :) but you got rifle wrong again. Its one f in rifle.
| Weapon-VII chapter 7 . 2/20/2015
Like what you are doing with this story. Curb stomp is boring as all heck. Hoping to see more supremacy. Keep up the good work!
| RandomReader chapter 7 . 2/18/2015
Crossover setting, but still realistic. There is an overall inner logic to what happens in this story. No Mary Sue factions is the biggest bonus. Also it is not a western-/ USA-centric humanity in the future. You avoided that cliche as well. Keep up the good work!
| DrKerbin chapter 4 . 2/19/2015
"'Ah... Fuck... Damnit!'
'Thankyou message sent.'
'Oh, i forgot I changed it to that...'"
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Dude, that was BRILLIANT! I need to go finish reading the chapter but it's been awhile since I've lol'd that hard. GJ!
| IveGotNoIdea chapter 4 . 2/18/2015
Minefield around the relays are pointless as the attacker can deliberately 'miss' their jump and appear up to a million kilometers away from the relay. Humans had no way of knowing that turians were too stupid to actually do that.
Nuclear weapons in space are rather useless for such thing. Not only the number of them required to clear a minefield (assuming that for some reason everyone jumps very close to the relay, like less than 10k kilometers on average) would be too high, the attackers would have no way to know that they have succeeded. Humans could reestablish the minefield, they could miss every time or hit the same spot multiple times, making the rest of the minefield still a threat.
Finally, the distance between Arcturus and Sol is 37ly, 3 days of travel for turian vessels. Finding Sol should be easy by using simple radios, just look for a system that was sending any artificial radio signals.
| timedraven117 chapter 7 . 2/18/2015
Mutton is delicious lamb meat.
Muton is a creature that is about 8 feet tall, fearsome, and not delicious sheep meat.
Unless I didn't know that is what the LPuniverse calls Mutons.
| Lone Gundam chapter 6 . 2/15/2015
I wonder what Shepard will do if the Alliance starts getting influenced by XCOM in the positive manner. We know that LP created a super shitty Alliance (the one you're using), so the people will eventually want more say in their government once more and the higher ups will clamp down rather than give up their precious power. Would Shepard support a regime change or would she follow orders?
| Anonymous chapter 5 . 2/14/2015
While an enjoyable read I think chapter 4 could use some improvements. Minor nitpick, why do you wright "Baatarians"? It's Batarians.
| timedraven117 chapter 6 . 2/16/2015
Well composed, barring a few minor spelling errors (That likely resulted from mistyping).
Good introduction to Sheppard, interesting alterations for her nick names and capabilities. (Using Biotics and psionics to imitate limited flight is quite creative and very good sign for a renasnark sheppard) Too bad this doesn't seem like that kind of shepherd.
However one persistent spelling error born of ignorance is the use of A and an's. Its very subtle and only slightly annoying, but remember use an before a word with a starting vowel.
EX: "Give me a beer" to " Gave me an ulcer."
And finally, the first person...
Nice job with it, sounds amazing when you say it out loud.
Now for a story question relating to combi-weapons:
Will there be combination weapons? Like underslung elerium jelly flamethrowers, alloy cannons, and rocket guns?
And in your universe is it possible to make "Hot shot" Laser weapons the size of anti tank rifles? Basically lasers that are able to pierce tank armor reliably. (If power requirements limit it, or beam intensity, can you just add a backpack power pack?)
| Brian1972 chapter 1 . 2/15/2015
I don't think that you understand the concept of an ICBM. You don't shoot at fighters with them you shoot at the damn country that is attacking you leveling it into stone age. The number of atomic powers esspecially with second strike weapons (submarine ICBMs, world wide spread mid range atomic weapons [literaly no warning time]) always makes me disbelief scenarios like this (unification by a war without a massive nuclear backslash).
| Michae1ange1o chapter 6 . 2/15/2015
Congratulations! I could shake your bloody hand off. Your possibly one of the few Mass Effect writers I know that actually know what the hell they are writing about, granted you can't spell rifle but you certainly know your shit.