|Reviews for The Harem War|
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/21
Please update I'm begging you don't die on us
| Blake2020 chapter 1 . 6/12
| Shadow Blade359 chapter 22 . 5/23
My opinion on your lemons is positive. If you like them at their current level it's good, personally however I'd like a but more description with it. I have seen much more descriptive lemons in other stories and have yet to see any profile to be e been purged. I am not, however if how often or stringent the purges can be.
| xxAbaddonxx chapter 45 . 4/13
| Bob chapter 45 . 4/5
Wow! Fantastic story! Please Keep writing!
| Azrael's Son chapter 45 . 4/1
very interesting good plotline so far i would love to read more
| Book Junky chapter 32 . 1/21
I have read this story dozens of times & continue to re-read. I do not know why I keep coming back to it, but I always feel content while reading this particular fan fiction. However. I want more. Please. Give me more. I am left quite unsatisfied. Be merciful & grant me more.
| The Light from Within chapter 44 . 12/19/2017
I do like this story, as long as it is, the character development is amazing. One item I noticed was that during the Auction, Narcissa didn't seem all that 'enthralled' with Voldemut and his Death Munchers. She noticed how far down the dark path her son had gone, from what he threatened her with being raped by the D.E.'s! I was thinking - Why couldn't Narcissa have started bidding on every contract? Also, could she have 'known', somehow, that Bill Weasley wasn't 'dark', etc., and that he 'talked' with 'Pussy Galore' and 'known' that the girls would be saved? Why couldn't Narcissa have spent most if not all of the Malfoy fortune to buy as many if not all the contracts and have pleaded with Bill, during the time out and given him the contracts and gone with him? Also, Narcissa could have emptied the Malfoy Vaults and given it to Harry, through Ragnok? She would have been a great asset. Also, it would have caused an uproar to have all the girls gone leaving just gold 't THAT have caused severe problems with the Ministry, with Dumblefuck and caused problems with the Wizengamot, and the Girls Families? Interesting byplay there! Maybe, this story can have an 'added' few chapters showing this Alternate Reality, kinda like two stories written together, side by side?
| The Light from Within chapter 32 . 12/18/2017
I don't know if you'll ever read this 'Review!', or NOT! - BUT!: I think this has been referred to, don't really know, so, here goes. In the last paragraph of your Author's Notes you mentioned the date that you planned to post this story (Feb 26 of 2915). Now, since I'm reading this on 18th of December of 2017, I FEEL!, as if this story has been ABANDONED! To your credit, it's A FABULOUS STORY! I know that writer's block happens to all of us, but, in the future, when you're planning to write a story, try to at least outline it all, completely. That way, you'll know where it's going and prevent writers' block. Another suggestion: Write out the complete story before you even publish what few chapter's you may have written. So many of us readers are looking for either good stories or GREAT stories, that have good character deverlopment, that they are truly difficult to find. You appear to be a Great Writer, but by leaving this story behind hurts many of us readers. This story does have great potential with many 'side stories', especially of the Concubine's development and their families. Another Possibility is eventually discovering only one gender of babies being born for some 'unexplainable!' reason! Won't THAT throw a monkey wrench into their plans. Or maybe 'something' happening to the concubines 'masters'! You could have Alternate Stories here, letting us Readers decide for ourselves which we like best. Why can't this Concubine Law eventually bleed over to the already married wives of ANY Magical/Witch of Childbearing Age? Won't it bring in MORE GOLD for the Wizengamot?! Isn't THAT what they wanted? I can easily see how the Concubines can be mistreated. Being slapped, beaten for no reason, etc., or the new Masters having a 'public' party at their home and invite ANYone to attend, with their Concubines nude! See what I mean as to the loopholes in this terrible law? And, how about Dumbledore? He's the 'Magical Guardian' of ALL the Girls there at 'his' school! He can buy any girl he wants - FROM HIMSELF! He'd then, be BOTH the 'Seller' AND the 'Buyer'! Anyway, these are just suggestions. Maybe someone would like to try finishing up this story, sending it to you and you republish it, or another reader/author can publish the ending of it if you don't have time or the inclination to finish it. This story has just so many possibilities! As to the length of this 'review', I'm not sorry for it being so long. I love a good Long story and this is one of them. Thank you for writing it this far.
| The Light from Within chapter 24 . 12/14/2017
I was wondering: What if Hermione asked Tonks to come into their bedroom while they were nude, so that Hermione could ask Tonks to Morph her appearance into her(Hermione) and then into Harry? Maybe just maybe, this'd demonstrate to Tonks, Hermione's 'kinky' side? And maybe it'd be of use to Tonks when/if Harry/Hermione might want Tonks to 'join' them? Just a thought!
| The Light from Within chapter 16 . 12/11/2017
With all these brides for Harry, I keep thinking back to the Original Betrothal Contract that was drawn up between Sirius and Amelia. Remember back a couple of chapters at Sirius' Will Reading where he told her to find someone and have babies? Well, why not with Harry? Who ELSE would she (Amelia) really know and be comfortable with?! This is just my observation. I imagine that right about now, Sirius and James are having the Laugh of their Lives over Harry Inheriting Four Women as his Wives! I do wonder, though, if they, in the Spirit World are meeting the PreDestined Spirits of Harry's Future Children?! Now, won't THAT be a great Story Line?!
| Gado the lion Al chapter 45 . 12/8/2017
Update plz! So very good!
| The Light from Within chapter 8 . 12/10/2017
I REALLY like this story!
It has detail, slow paced, showing emotions and reasons for each of the people's actions.
One question I have, is that the Bethrotal Contract between Sirius and Amelia, Even though it was transferred to Harry and Susan, then why can't Harry have a Betrothal contract drawn up for himself and Amelia? It was mentioned that she can still bear children, so, why not have a child with Harry? Harry is the God Son of Sirius, whom Amelia wanted to be with, so Sirius might even approve of Harry taking his Place! If I were Harry, I'd certainly make THAT proposal to Amelia! It'd be for the 'Right' Reasons - that of Amelia carrying on the Bones Family line without having to depend Solely upon her neice, Susan! Just a thought. You're a Great Writer.
| jlt314 chapter 38 . 12/6/2017
As a minor point of criticism, there seems to be an unwritten agreement to bid in steps of no less than G500, which doesn't truly make sense. And to chain in with my previous comment, it is surprising that nobody in Crestview thought of buying a few known DE daughters / nieces to pump them for information.
Also, the known young DE supporters (a.k.a. "Junior Death Eaters" of Umbridge's squads) could have been bought with the intent to check them for the mark, and if found unmarked, to deliver a few life-changing epiphanies about current and past Dark "Lords" and Lords to them. Concubines are good, but willing allies are better.
P.S. Given this fic's Dumbledore's character, I'd also not put it past him to pit parents against daughters in his scenario of a Battle of Hogwarts.
| jlt314 chapter 37 . 12/6/2017
Dumbledore's plans have a few rather obvious gaps. The Concubine Law is worded in such a manner that at least some prospective buyers, and not just Dumbledore, should understand that concubines are an excellent source of information. Hence, anybody at risk of losing a relative to the law would be reasonably expected to
a. invoke the Head of House privileges to seal some information,
b. just obliviate the girl of sensitive information,
c. ask the girl to take an Unbreakable Vow.
Dumbledore believing that Astoria would be under none of those conditions is rather plot-holish. To add insult to injury, any pureblood could use their Head of House privileges after obliviating the girls anyway, and then have Dumbledore bargain for having the secrecy seal lifted from the concubine. Wouldn't it be a pity that there was nothing sealed?
This would be completely legal to boot, as the Concubine Law doesn't state that a current caretaker of any girl has to be cooperative towards prospective buyers.
Also, in a matter of taking a shot at any future owner of their child, a magical parent / caretaker might ask the future concubine to store her life in relevant memories and then obliviate her of her education. Then, as the auction concludes and the ritual completes, i.e. the girl doesn't appear on the next auction, all the parent / caretaker needs to do is call down the aurors on their child's owner under the claim of finding her education neglected.