|Reviews for The Lightning Flash's Companion|
| flo463 chapter 6 . 10/11
replace Kirito by Harry "just" because Kirito is blank is ... the most blank comment I've ever seen!
Kirito is a geek, a HARDCORE gamer! he was a fan of Kabaya and his work and in love with Aincrad.
Unless it's an alternate universe, you should have found it better but replacing Kirito only because you think he's blank and you don't like shows that your comment isn't only bland but also totally bullshit!
| Half-beastdragonsoul2013 chapter 1 . 10/1
I guess this must be an AU where Kirito and Asuna didn't meet. Harry will still be a badass, though.
| lewa282 chapter 7 . 4/18
I'm first going to say that I am not personally a writer so I could be far off my mark on what I'm about to say.
Question 1: Are you simply making other peoples ideas a reality, or are you brain-storming with someone else to come up with ideas?
Question 2: WHY are almost all of the females you focus on klutzes when most of them are not one in the first place?
Question 3: Does the character interaction feel forced in some way? If so, try to identify why it does and correct it.
Question 4: Is the story you're working on something that you're writing because you want to, or because you started it years ago?
Things that I have found that seem to kill stories.
Point 1: I have read many stories that seem to have forced character interactions happening, and it does not feel nice in the slightest.
Point 2: Writing a story because you started it and you want to finish it before moving does not seem to be a productive thing to do. I say this due to the fact that a story I want to update but hasn't in more than 6 months, has not updated due to the fact that the author wants to finish his oldest story before returning to them. He has posted, I think, 6 chapters since then, and it's like he is pulling his own teeth to do it. When he is working on a story that he likes working on, he can pump out a 10,000 word chapter in under a week, easily.
Point 3: Included reader content. Is it nice? Yes. Can it kill a story? So very easily.
Point 4: One of the best stories I have read, has roughly a 4 to 1 ratio of people doing stuff to people talking. The core writer has contributed, I think, almost 1.5 million words to the count and he works as a night guard, lots of "free time". Harry Leferts is an awesome writer.
I'm just going to end this here since it is starting to feel a bit awkward to me.
| flo463 chapter 1 . 4/11
Bothering Kirito? What you should not read seriously! It's as if you wrote a fic Naruto without Naruto or a fic Harry Potter without Harry
if you find him boring and bland, nothing prevents you from changing his character lol
see how Kirito would have reacted in Harry's presence would have been interesting
that you did not like Kirito is one thing, but from there to remove him completely no
| Greer123 chapter 7 . 3/30
I love all of your stories and I hope that you can find a Beta reader so that you continue them and I hope you are doing well.
| icedshadows chapter 7 . 3/28
I could help if you need a different point of view!
| Bogart Rojas Avila chapter 7 . 3/25
Hey I saw your message for someone to help you out with your stories and I think I can help you out since I have a lot of free time and I like your stories here so if you can send me a note of confirmation I can try to help you in werever I can. Peace out.
| nathnathn chapter 7 . 3/25
Great story wish i could help but while im good at coming up with ideas im awful at actually writing them down.
| Guest chapter 5 . 3/22
It occurs to me... the time between waking, going to the armory, explaining the menu, and killing the boar was probably only about forty minutes to an hour at most. Why are they eating DINNER at the start of the chapter?
| Guest chapter 4 . 3/22
That's right Asuna! That's the way o do it! Get 'em trained in young to start thinking of "the enemy" as non-human. That won't screw him up even more than he already is by the time he reaches adulthood. Not at all.
When Harry asked about the menu, I couldn't help but burst out into laughter, remembering the SAO abridged series.
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/18
No Jesus-kun? Heresy!
| Guest chapter 7 . 3/18
More chapters please
| Merlenyn chapter 7 . 3/19
What kind of help did your co-writer do? I'm decent at writing I think but I've never actually written fanfiction. I usually just come up with ideas or help troubleshoot things. I only beta for one person on one story but that's slow going as they haven't updated in a while due to computer troubles. I'm good for hashing out ideas so long as I'm familiar with the stories (like the two for this fic) so I could maybe help for some but not for others as I haven't read/seen all of the different series you've been crossing with Harry Potter.
| Prisci chapter 6 . 3/1
Hola saludos , me gusto mucho la historia , alguien tiene que rescatar a Harry pero yaa , Vernon y Petunia que sufran muchooo , muerte muy dolorosa siii ..
| Guest chapter 4 . 10/15/2017
Ya like dem chests eh, Harry? (waggles eyebrows)