|Reviews for The Dragon Queens|
| NoName36599 chapter 2 . 5/25
After my last review I am hesitant to review again, but why are multiple people talking in a single block of text. All you have to do is look at any book anywhere to know that this is a big no no. It is confusing and difficult to follow, and this difficulty and confusion can cause headaches as readers try to follow who is saying what and to whom they are speaking to. It saddens me to skip ahead to Ch 25 and see this still in effect. Sorry, but this is a story killer for me.
On the bright side, I will tell you that you did very well on chapter one. I have read a lot of stories on this site which are discontinued and the reason is obvious; they forgot to tell the story. The authors wanted their character to be powerful and strong and have a lot of personality, but they get caught up in writing how this came to be and end up writing from "the beginning" and explaining everything is excruciating detail. This leads to the story being boring and bland as no one cares about how the story came to be, they care about the story itself.
You did a very good job summarizing the prequel, as your prequel is only one chapter and not twenty or more as I have seen with other stories. You avoided writing your story into the ground before the story actually began.
My only criticism of that summary would have been to not summarize something and then go on in detail immediately afterword's. It is somewhat confusing and unnecessary to read a summary of a battle and then in the next section be told how the battle happened in more detail but with nothing that is really important or need to know, thus making either the summary or the battle scene redundant and unneeded.
| NoName36599 chapter 1 . 5/25
Uh, did you play the Arrival DLC? Or even see it on Youtube or anything? Destroying a Relay has major consequences and is outlawed for the mass destruction that occurs afterward, and rightly so, as the destruction of the Relay in the Arrival DLC destroyed at least a whole star cluster (the star and all the planets that orbit it) and quite possibly even more than that, leading to the deaths of millions of Batarians. Even if they had shielded Earth from all forms of damage using magic, it would still utterly destroy the entire rest of the star cluster, which would destroy the Sun as well as the planets affecting Earth with their gravity. Earth would still die out due to no more heat or gravitational pull on the planet, which would mean no tides or waves. To destroy even one Relay is idiotic but understandable. To destroy multiple is literally retarded or genocidal.
| HonorLove chapter 25 . 4/20
Came to reread what was here, and discovered I was _way_ behind! For the record, I love what you've done with the fusion of these universes. Please inform your muse we want to read more of this one! (I say just before wandering off to read your others.)
Oh yes: Garrus, chosen of Sheogorath? Priceless!
| carwash36 chapter 18 . 4/11
Awesome, that was a nice little domestic scene
| koper chapter 16 . 4/7
From what i see empire is morally worse than any Council race so far
| TubfullOfDishes345 chapter 25 . 3/26
Holy crap! Amazing crossover! I want more! I need more! Please!
| amerdism chapter 1 . 3/15
Awesome story, when's the next chapter going up, I hope to see more soon.
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/6
Wait, aren’t the stars just holes to Aetherius? The sun the conduit through which magic flows? The moons the remains of Lorkhan’s body, and the planets how mortals perceive the aedra and daedra? How would this work? And just how did the Empire deal with Landfall, the coming of Numidium who has the power to erase the Altmer from existence?
| coduss chapter 7 . 3/5
...how is the council any different than the original septim empire, or any empire really? the empire did the exact same thing, they conqured and controlled the other nations. thats how empires work. the individual kings rule their own nation, but in the end they ALL answer to the emperor/empress. any disobedience or outright rebellion could result in military action. in fact, the council would actually be better than an empire by one account, as a triumvirate they would have divided power ensuring one race doesnt have total domination of the galaxy
| coduss chapter 3 . 3/5
dont mass relays explode with the force of a super nova when destroyed, wiping out the entire solar system?
| Zarroc789 chapter 25 . 3/3
I cannot wait for the next chapter this is utterly phenomenal
| biobaby.hb chapter 9 . 2/18
really good story. I will carry on tomorrow.
| biobaby.hb chapter 1 . 2/18
wow. This could be held as Elder Scrolls legends and truths to be told. I love it
| Guest chapter 21 . 2/13
Maybe it's time to look into a beta, or fire whomever you already have and get a new one...
The story is very well put together, although certain scenes are somewhat under-developed. A new beta should definitely help with that, not to mention the various misspellings and grammatical errors...
| CMVreud chapter 25 . 2/13
I still see no M'aiq, but the story is awesome. A bit rough around the edges, but it'll smoothe out.