|Reviews for Fledglings|
| Earthpatriot117 chapter 95 . 4/6
well things are about to kickoff, and I couldn't be more anxious and nervous about how it will end. xd
| Namohysip chapter 87 . 4/1
Crossposted from TR~
Nice, a bit of a sleuthing mission to get past a bunch of Company guards. I guess they really underestimated what the locals would be able to do, which isn't too much of a surprise, all things considered, with what they'd done with the island before.
The prison break went on for a smidge longer, and I wonder what significance that Dubwool's unexpected sturdiness will mean later since so much attention seemed to have been drawn to it.
Ahh, and now we can see what's going on with Ander all this time... Looks like Ander made his choice one way or another. That's quite a turn for him, but at least all of that time he spent with the team wasn't all for nothing. I really do like his character arc in particular-he might be one of my favorites.
"Back to the holes they crawled out from." -Wouldn't a line like that be derogatory here? Hell, pretty sure Nida lived in something that isn't too far removed from a hole...
Hey Pekka evolved! Another one mid-battle, not that it mattered too much, I suppose, amidst everything else that happened.
One thing that seems to bug me a little with this fight is how easily items seem to completely turn the tide of battle, to the point where their sheer strength feels like that's all you would really need to subdue them. Bunsen refers to it as a "simple" Petrify Orb but I've yet to see it be shrugged off in any notable way, even by trained guards. The power scaling is weird for how often or not-often certain strategies are used.
It also occurs to me that we've yet to see the old Company trick of pulling out a ton of apricorn cannons like before. Wouldn't that be the clear-cut easy way to finish things? Happened pretty easily last time, so I wonder why that wasn't so much as mentioned this time.
Boy, this is certainly an arc finale with everyone pitching in for the rebellion at least from the main island and associated Protectors that have been met. Quite a good climax.
Side note, "shot wide" is a term that was overused in this chapter.
And so the chapter ends with a rare and recover victory for the team. That will probably give them time to wind down and discuss everything they know. Could this be tying everything together for somewhat of a final act? Guess the next chapter or two will determine that.
| Emmet Voyance chapter 10 . 3/23
Nacho Libre? More like flato perro.
But yeah, another slew of good chapters. Only two his time, but I felt the content of the expediency ending was a good stopping point. Now, let us commence the review protocol (since ffnet won’t let me pretend to use file extensions, darn)
Chapter 8: nacho double dip
So yeah, one thing I’ve bot really commended you for but have noticed and appreciated is the style of humor implemented. It’s simple, silly, and honestly nostalgic. It’s what I’d imagine to be in a Saturday morning cartoon, it’s that well handled. Moreso than that wooper’s bubble.
Moving on to actual story, Hatterus continues to be the best character and we now have a new cast member. Elty. I already anticipated this via the cover art, but it was a welcome introduction that felt by chance, but we all know nothing is ever left to chance.
I wish the Gabite good luck and await the character development of one of my favorite min species, I hope.
Other than that, nothing much else to say, very concise and handled well.
Chapter 9: seeing Libre's stars
So yeah. Another good one. Elty really does steal the show with Pleo in this one. I definitely am glad you’re doing a good balance of character spotlight.
Now…while the battle was well thought out and done, I must say that the best thing I’ve seen in like 5 chapters is no doubt Melissa and her speech. You nail the mix of mon and bot and the worldbuilding of tms makes me want to get trances by one too.
Hatterus came was great too and sets up well for the next chapter. The ending did feel like a bit of needless tag on, but felt enough in style with it being a cartoon for kids that it fit fine.
Now..I will say there is one t hi ing that did miffed me a little in this story.
[I'll let you get back to your little lambs… and your muzzled wolf]
First, I wanna say I get the message and the dialogue is witty. However, I’m not really keen on using the real life animal counterparts of Pokémon since it sort of doesn’t really make much sense or needs to be explored. (I also know you used a word meaning “chicken” earlier too)
Now, this isn’t a problem as much as it is something that gives me questions. Similar to the use of Spanish, so I hope there’s a reason for why that is. If not know buggy, but it’d be kinda cool.
All in all, good two chapters. Let’s hope our dear Pleo doesn’t crash and burn in the mystery dungeon as the ultimate plot twist of expectations subversion. (No seriously, please tell me he does it, I do ot want puny white bird to cry)
| Navarchu chapter 26 . 3/1
Hm. Right at the first scene this chapter, though it doesn’t jump into action, was exciting. It mostly contains some bickering at the start, and it is amusing to read, but what really fascinated me was Lyn showing up. Because he just (at least from what I noticed) invaded a town to get what he wants, and clearly has a lot of respect for his crew to the point he considers them an army. Lyn is… interesting. Obviously one of the villains in this arc/story, but I don’t think I can call him something other than “mustache twirling”, not for now anyway. However, seeing that he doesn’t instantly jump into wanting to murder the village if they don’t do what he says makes me think he’s a better character, even if I don’t know the full thing. That wasn’t something I really expected to see out of a minor villain, but the fact it’s there shows great writing, like most of the story so far. Now that I talked about the villain part, I’ll discuss some of the plot. Since they already realized what the Tromba folks are planning, Lyn is probably gonna want to make sure they can’t do anything, so the talk with the village folks is for that purpose, I think. In hindsight, it’s kinda obvious? I don’t know the details yet, but I am looking forward to seeing it over the next few scenes and/or chapters, so good job so far. I’m going to the next scene now.
Oh, nevermind what I said before. The Company is at the same town Pleo and friends are. I’m really stupid, huh? Ahem. Now there’s action on this chapter, and things also go south during this scene. Before I comment on the action itself, I’ll comment on the one sentence where Elty describes the food, because at the time I’m writing this, I just woke up and I’m hungry. Maybe I’ll get as pudgy as that dog. Anyway! Back to the fight scene: everyone of them is in bad shape to fight, even with the training, and specially poor Pleo, having to carry them around so they can escape. It was a good plan, I’ll give it that. Also surprised that Team Chasseur went out of their way to protect them, I almost expected some sort of betrayal here, but I’m glad to be proven wrong, even if they did get their asses handed to them by the company goons(minor comment but I was surprised to see the word “punted”, because I could swear it wasn’t an actual word, huh). Still, Elty is the only one that seems happy about the decision, something that he learned as a pirate, I suppose. That should be all my thoughts on this scene, so I’m going to progress again, I did like it, by the way. You have a real charm on writing action scenes, and interactions. Aaaaand maybe just writing in general.
Another action scene. Don’t mind those and it is nice to see Chasseur getting some much needed backup. And the guild made it look so easy to defeat those goons, then again, if they are goons they should be weak, I think. I mean, they did ambush outside the hall, talk about stupidity! Though what I’m gonna talk the most about here is the coordination during this small fight scene. The guild was incredibly coordinated in their attacks, striking down with super effective moves. Part of it probably comes due to experience, and the other is just common sense to, say, shock a Frogadier. Another comment I have is that I enjoyed the battle’s descriptions, they didn’t feel out of place and I could picture the entire scene in my head(don’t know if I mentioned this before but I do have some trouble picturing images in my head, it’s why I love long descriptions). Overall this was a nice scene, if only a little on the shorter end of the stick. Even so, I think it was done well enough that I can comment… all of this that I already did. To finish my thoughts on this scene I’m gonna mention that I think it’s a little scary that, even after the battle’s over, they were still scared of te Company. This shows me that strength isn’t everything for them, because they can still win battles using different strategies. I quite like that. Anyhow, moving on to the next scene.
Hm, I didn’t even comment on calling Pleo a pirate, but that seems a little harsh(and on brand for the Company). Leavanny is a kind soul, she really is. Risking her neck just to protect the protector(pun intended) was a bold move of her, even if it failed. Lyn shows some character here, wanting to keep the peace. I’m curious to see if these ideals of him are common and believed in, or if he’s just lying to make himself look better(I’m kinda hoping that’s not the case, because a villain with “good” ideals is very compelling). He’s also dangerous, and got ready to kill Leavanny if he needed to, threatening her with the scimitar. I liked how she had to take a difficult decision and “betray” Pleo in favor of her town, it brings a nice layer of grayness to the overall story that I’m all here for. Now, Pleo was seen by the ‘rott, and there’s a Crobat on his trail, so I’m expecting an aerial fight scene this time. I don’t remember right now if you did it before(probably, but my memory’s just not working right now), so here’s hoping that if there is a fight scene like that, it’ll look cool and exciting to read. I’m done with this scene, and it was very entertaining as well, hopefully the next one is just as much, if not more than this was. Cheers, Fobbie. Keep up the good work.
Not an aerial fight, at least not yet. But hey, the Hydreigon from before is back! And still acting like a racist old lady for the start of the scene, lol. I jest, of course, because that’s how she was raised, so expecting her to change her entire mentality because of one smol birb is too much. Still, she could at least be a little nicer. Also, I just noticed something. Deino is blind, but she isn’t, so when he evolves, he’ll just… suddenly gain the power of sight? That’s a little weird to me, but it’s also kinda cool, so I’m willing to accept this kind of lore :tm:. Seems Pleo, Elty and Nida are still getting attacked by the bat, and they’ll need some help dealing with that, so to my utmost shock, Hydreigon is gonna do something about it! I’m very happy with this turn of events, and it isn’t something I expected. Her reasoning for that is… hm, I’m afraid I can’t judge it for now, but the idea that even if Pleo is a demon, the world is better with him out of Company’s hands is a good enough motivation for her to do something about it. Heck, maybe this will cause her to revalue her entire life, her teachings. It’s, dare I say, character development? It sounds like potential development, which I’m all here for. I’ll see how long this goes and how much it affects her(also, that Deino better not recklessly follow her into danger)
Whoohoo! This was a pretty big scene, there is a LOT for me to cover, so bear with me for a second, aight? For starters, I quite liked the coordinated attacks from the team. Quick thinking was what saved them, or bought them time. Nida is proving herself as the main strategist of the three, with Elty coming on the second place. I did think the first bit of the fight was the best, and I was on the edge of my seat, wondering how they’d make it out of that situation alive, what their plan was, and overall how that fight would end. It all worked wonders for me, I kept wanting more, more intense actions and etc. I think my wish was fullfilled when Margi showed up, she really helped them turn the tides(pun also intended) and escape with their lives. Heck, she even gave them a place to stay, which is a lot more than I was expecting. This was impressive for me, I’m being serious. Well, I believe this should close things off for this chapter, at least, so I’m going to finish off the review here. I’m gonna read the next chapter as soon as I can because… I mean, this story is getting me hooked every time I read it, so only makes sense for me to dedicate more time to reading this thing. Good job again, Fobbie(and Virgil! Almost forgot to mention him) for making this fic, peace out.
| Navarchu chapter 25 . 3/1
I was so wrong about it that I feel a little embarrassed. It happens. Anyway, thoughts on this chapter: it was great. No, seriously, I enjoyed it so much I wanted to read 25 before I even wrote this review. Guess that didn’t happen. Anyway, there was quite a bit of lore dropped, which I found very interesting to read, the Fledglingsverse is getting wider and I’m all here for it. Realistically, I’m gonna need some time to process it all, but I have to say that Pleo choosing to be good is great. One of my favorite tropes, though I don’t remember its name. As for the plan, I’m glad it was properly explained here, added more worldbuilding, too. I liked it. Though it seems (Admiral Zhao? He sounds like Admiral Zhao, here’s hoping he doesn’t kill the moon or something like that) Lyn noticed it right away, which is sure to make things a little harder. Oh, and Elty still attracts trouble no matter where he goes, though if it wasn’t for that stunt they’d never have the chance to (somewhat) make amends with the dragons. He’s still a fun character to read, and might be my second favorite after Pleo. Anyway, glad to see things worked out in the end. Overall, I really enjoyed this chapter, and I think I’m starting to get back to my binging phase because of this fic, so who knows how long this review will get.
| Navarchu chapter 24 . 3/1
Ah. I have lots of thoughts on this chapter. Starting with: I really liked the way you divided the scenes, shifting from Pleo and friends to the people of Tromba, it was nice seeing what was going on with them. Of course, what I was really wanting to read was, surprisingly, Pleo having fun with the game. It was such a sweet moment that I craved more, and everything was going fine, too. As for the thing at Tromba, I’m curious how that’ll turn out. I’m a little suspicious of the plan, because I’ve read enough fics to know something’s up. Not to mention that whole section where they’re planning to prove Pleo is a demon or whatever. How can he be a demon when every single scene Pleo is in makes me want to pet and give him treats? Those people are cruel, man. Jokes aside, I think it’s fine that they’re so uptight in their ways, makes the eventual conflict more interesting, at least to me. I might be wrong, too, given that this is a live review, so I haven’t read the next chapters while writing this one’s review. As for the rest of the chapter, smooth sails. Until the end. Oh boy, the ending. I wasn’t expecting you to shoot my heart like that, it was a rough scene to read, I got teary-eyed, actually. Here’s hoping that this won’t stay for too long, I was liking the dynamic Deino brought to the story. Oh well, guess I’ll just have to read and find out.
| Emmet Voyance chapter 8 . 2/23
War, disease, famine, discounts…lots of discounts. What does this have to do with Fledgelings, well I don’t really know but I’ll find a way to squeeze them in.
Now, this was originally going to be a review for 2 chapters since I was going to say a lot about them, but it would seem I have caught the deadly virus of being “invested” in this world and characters and thus have doubled the amount at no extra cost to thee.
Chapter 4: Why are we still here? Just to stutter?
First off, I would like to thank you in continuing the ongoing tradition of making the Guildmaster be the best character in the story. Hatteras even has a nice little gimmick of multiple jobs requiring multiple scarves. (Andy Griffith vibes that I approve of are vibrant)
But getting on, this is my favorite chapter so far. It says a lot while still keeping an engaging, humorous, and even tense conversation that really does flesh out a lot of the prospects of this world.
Speaking of fleshing out. The Marks! They’ve come for me! And I must say, this is the highlight. The dichotomy presented by Ander is honestly the biggest portion of my chair leaning inwards time. It gives such a big amount of flesh to what I’ve been waiting to see and even really goes into the differences in perspective (savior and doomer) when it comes to Pleo. Everything from Ander’s simple yet emotionally charged outbursts, to the guards being mean and reflecting the common view of marks, and Hatteras being a boss and showing why he’s in charge, just really makes this chapter work for me.
I also hope we see more of Ander as the story goes on as well. I liked his introduction as freaking out as it was and I'd look forward to see the interactions and exploring what life means for a Mark. And that's what's honestly so interest. I can't really say there's clearly a bad take here, when the normal mons had the marks destroy all the legends (or at least most) and the marks fear retribution for the sins of the past. It really does give a tense, bad blood, scenario of both groups living together under tension that you don't normally see in pokemon fanfics (and probably for the best with how some would handle it by going all FE Fates route in saying it's "both sides gotta point" when really it just shows one.)
It honestly puts up a nice amount of fences for Pleo to explore and I must commend going into such a situation rather maturely about it since most of this fic has been rather kid-oriented for the most part. But then again, I like children's stories that are able to really go into matters and teach interesting perspective lessons in an engaging way.
Speaking of engaging.
["But my team's mission statement is to fledge new Rescue Team members, and not babysitters."]
HE SAID THE TITLE! WELL..PART OF THE TITLE, BUT STILL THE TITLE! *Party Poppers* HOW WILL THIS BE TOPPED‽
["I appreciate you taking your training mission seriously, Crom. But… Seriously. Sea god among us. Priorities," the Ampharos replied]
HE SAID THE THING! THE FUNNY THING! *party popper*
One more thing I’d like to commend. Thank you for providing a justification for using Spanish words alongside English (I think it’s Spanish. And I think therefore it must be it). Too many fics nowadays just like throwing things in that sound nice or seem cool and don’t really think of the implications it does or how it affects the worldbuilding or lore. I’m glad to know my earlier annoyance about this has now been shot dead in an alley with this wonderful bit of justification presented.
But moving on,
Chapter 5: You will take your flu season and you will like it!
So, while I like this chapter too and it’s great to see Pleo learn things around him and practice, I have a few minor issues.
First, the title doesn’t really seem to work for me. I’m not sure, it just doesn’t seem to fit the naming conventions you’ve given other ones in how they’re tangentially related. Not really a biggy, just my nit pick itch needing a scratch so it can be infected more.
Second, it’s probably the time skips. I get not wanting to focus on the mundane training stuff, but some initial bits of it would actually work pretty good. Showing Pleo starting out and whatnot was something I was looking forward to, and while we do get some of that, it’s implied to have been “half a week” later. This isn’t helped by the Calino black mai- I mean, bargaining scene happening right before and that just being lunch break.
Other than that, good chapter and enjoyable cliffhanger. Poor Google Crom.
Chapter 6: Starvation, thy name is comfort.
Gonna be real yo, the fight scene was alright. Had a lot of good usage and showcasing of abilities, props to it. Pleo’s reaction at the end was also good and would mimic how I’d imagine a baby of his caliber would react.
The conversations were pretty good as well, alongside that Froslass you mentioned earlier. Now, here’s where I go back to my earlier comment on the information mentioned.
I would honestly have something here. It was mentioned why she stopped babysitting in the afternoon, but it also seems to be that she doesn’t like babysitting when others have options or too rambunctious of children. Both of those I feel give much more justification than a random “incident” mentioned and never explained.
Now, what makes me really like this chapter, is Pleo’s interactions with the marked children. The dynamic of normal mons and marked continues to be the point of intrigue for me in this story (and that you’ve got a Bulbasaur and Mudkip there, kudos). The interaction is simple, yet fine and we even get to see Ander’s daughter (or at least I believe she is) It’s a nice wholesome scene that serves well that sets up the conversations that follow.
["You don't have to be so shy, Crom," Marley tut-tutted. "I've never taken any trophies from nice dragons before."]
Beast Marley coming through. While I as a member of the dragon fan club do get a little shiver at hearing dragons being beaten up, I have to respect the strength when do. Marley is done well along with Teja. They are truly the best parents so far.
We the move on to random feral encounter out randomly, which was received random so it’s alright. And then the dreaded moment for our characters and the moment us readers were waiting to happen.
Chapter 7: By one Pleo get a concussion free
Attacks be going and I like how it was done. Not heavily detailed unfortunately or showcasing a lot of the battling going on (which makes sense with who’s the POV character) it does do a good job in showing the damage and strategy utilized.
Team protagonist winds up fighting the three competent stooges and dose squeeze a good win. Even get to see that Marley trophy collecting (which thankfully wasn’t as bad as I was expecting) Google Crom didn’t like that though, aheh. Crom is great.
Moving on, we’ve got Aggron in the left corner! And he sure showcased a strength not yet seen. What with everyone scared of Marley it was something else to see her being pushed back against another mon. Of course, we get the Ace played against the King in the form of Pleo super sayan mode completely sending this product to the dollar store, no taxes refunded.
However, there was one thing about the fight that irked me.
[Just then, the Swellow attempted to push Pleo out of the way of something from the corner of his eye. It was only after feeling a heavy blunt slam, being knocked back tumbling across the path, and starting to hear a shrill repeating noise in his head that Pleo discovered that he was surrounded by rocks and compacted dirt that the Aggron had thrown up the path.
"Ugh… Why- Why do I hear beeping?" Pleo groaned as he uneasily rose to his feet. Kiran was splayed out along the ground, groaning weakly. In coming to Pleo's aid, Kiran had taken the full brunt of the earth and rocks the pirate captain had thrown up the path. Just up ahead, Marley was pulling herself out of a ditch weakly, panting from having been thrown up the path by the torrent of earth and stone.]
I really, really hope the beeping being used isn’t what I think it is. I’m not sure what it would be if it wasn’t aside from maybe some kind of shellshock audable bit, but if it is indeed the “low health” beep from the games, I really wouldn’t go that route. It honestly takes away from the immersion/world you’ve made and unless we find out we’re in some kind of isekai, wouldn’t really add much.
Other than that, twas a nice fight and Pleo finally getting a win, and then fainting. (Check)
Will our little big bird survive‽ Find out next time when you subscribe to the amazon shopping service at 20% off if you type in the code “MarleyStep”.
I think the big reason I like this story upon reflection is how it uses everything it brings. Nothing feels wasted or lacking in process (sure some hiccups here and there) but everything so far really does read and work. The marks, the guildmaster, the daycare, the scarves, the linguistics even. You use it all, side characters included. But what really makes it is how you both utilize this in a satisfying, constructing way that not only build intrigue for a mindless NPC reader like myself, but also stimulates my lizard brain with the humour interactions, tense moments, and perspective building through the characters along with the readers.
Pleo honestly is one of the best parts in how he’s reacting and learning of the world around him and thus being utilized very well for conveying information in a good, non-info dumpy way. It really does make him be more genuine and honestly makes me appreciate him more. Sure, he’s not too unique in the stand of “big power monster baby”, but the way he’s handle makes this trope satisfying and enjoyable.
Kudos, you did the impossible. You made me read against my original judgement because I was so wanting to see how it went on. Mad. Freaking. Props. On sale for 50% if you click the link down belo-
| Emmet Voyance chapter 4 . 2/17
I say I say I say, did somebody order an infant lugia. Boy! I say, BOY! Get that rock out of your mouth!
So yeah, read up to chapter 3 so this review will cover the first three chapters (since I already did the prologue, but of course you already knew that, aheeeee)
Chapter 1: A new review menace.
So starting this off with personal nitpicking! (audience applause now!)
But yeah, I don’t like just random time skips that don’t have some set up or integration into the story. Like, I get the prologue is more distinct to the story, but it would have been nice to have some kind of tie in so it feels less info dumpy for the sake of info dumpy.
Now, as a certified member of the “Dragon Types are based" club, I admit I was rather surprised to find out there’s such a thing as a dragon buster in your world. Course you explain later a lot of dragons are pirates, but I do still have several questions on how your world operates that so far aren’t answered. This fine, but I do hope tabs are kept on stuff like that.
The setting in this chapter built well and definitely tended up with the storm at the end. Pretty good stuff to finish off a rather okay chapter with a bang (like thunder…yeah…im clever, shut up)
I felt this chapter could have toned it back on the descriptions. While your style is more informative and it is very reminiscent to older works that go into irrelevant detail for a good reason in fleshing out the world, sometimes it hurts more than helps. For example,
[Past wooden and canvas buildings, past the Day Care run by the Froslass (who stopped watching her siblings after dark after the incident with her Pomeg plants),]
For now I’ll pinch myself to avoid going into my signature “use which instead of parentheses damnit" and say that during this point Nida is going to meet Crom. So we’re also about to be introduced to a new character so likely wouldn’t care about this section. Second, this doesn’t even go into good detail that expands. It just says “after incident, Frosslass stopped watching after dark". I’m not sure what to make of it and it doesn’t really expound on the world or town in a good way. Just leaves me with a brow raised as I switch tabs to the download screen for google Crom
I’ll move aside my gripes with languages being inserted without good reason and instead focus on our current cast.
Also, I stand sentret.
Chapter 2: a striking back boogaloo clone.
I like our trio. Each one is distinct and well characterized. Kiran was arguably the more subtly, which I appreciated (as I appreciated his “profit" thought on recruiting God lol)
Your dungeons, while not the most complex or descriptive I’ve seen in a fic, seem solid and offer some nice observational scenes. Several things are tied well, but I will ask something.
What are the extent of ferals?
Refreshing myself on the story, you do go into detail on what they are, but it seems they’d be more scared that they’re outsiders or something.
This is the anything contradictory, but does make me wonder about the levels this goes. I’m guessing all the mons in mystery dungeons are ferals or at least off the Islands, whatever that means, so I guess we’ll see. I remember a scene with a spin arak that I could have sworn happened outside a mystery dungeon, but maybe I’m misremembering. Oh well, time will tell what your devices be.
It is pretty cool how things are tied though and it’ll be nice to see how it continues, especially with a baby legendary, speaking of which...
Chapter 3: Revenge of the tax Return. (Get it, cuz it’s tax season)
Baby Lugia is another good addition. The curious and playful nature does well in clashing with Nida and really showcasing how screwed the islanders feel.
One problem though: I’ve yet to really see any form of destruction done by pirates let alone by Amazon (This is the company running joke, please laugh)
I thin this would cement better for impact if we actually saw an example of the pirates escapades and the resulting damage. Doesn’t have to be happening right in the moment, but a nod to the level of destruction would help the picture you’re painting. Doesn’t help that the most damage we’ve seen has been from Lugia being born, which gives me the strange urge to rip Boss Baby DVDs.
All in all, good going so far. Still interesting and minor hiccups and style choices I disagree with aside, I’m enjoying myself and enjoying where this story goes. Good luck on your 96th chapter….96 chapters….FUUUUUUUUU-!
| Earthpatriot117 chapter 94 . 2/9
well I'm sure this won't end up like when the lord protector was arrested and convicted for his crimes. [deep sarcasm]
looking forward to the next AWESOME chapter!
| Adamfics chapter 8 . 12/29/2021
Okay, I read this as part of a review exchange and without further chapter 7 review let's go!
The chapter picks up from where the previous one left off where pirates attacked the island. What I liked about the first scene was Pleo, bless his babey soul, being super hesitant to follow the others and fight pirates. By seven chapters, it's easy to forget that Pleo is still probably less than a week old and his first experience of pain and battle reasonably left a bad impression on him. However, it was honestly quite endearing to see that he did not take too long to join the others. Pleo joined the fray not because he felt obligated to, or because he suddenly grew masochistic tendencies, but because he just wants to fight for the people who liked him.
In terms of the fight against the three pirate lackeys, I think you guys did a decent job at making all the action easy enough to follow. There weren't any paragraphs that left me wondering what image to picture in my head. Having Nidoran and Druddigon characters in a fight bring fun avenues for useful tools in fights. It was clever of them to poison and split the gabite off from his teammates while picking off the less threatening pupper and bear trap. Chrom was like the worst match for Trapinch especially lol. What was even better is that those useful quirks weren't the sole determining factors to their victory.
The last portion of the fight sees us face to face with the pirate captain himself, and the prose did well in introducing him in an imposing manner. Nidorina's personality was a delight here because she would not back down even against someone like that. #StronkMomma. Still, the captain's earthquake and I think rock slide attacks did a number on his opponents, which became the catalyst to awaken Pleo's first use of Aeroblast.
To close things off, this chapter accomplished a few things. It introduced us to the pirate pokemon and the kind of destructive potential they can pose to islanders, and it serves as the first of many steps that'll take Pleo on his journey to being the strong Protector he was born to be. Overall I had fun reading and I'll be sure to check back in the future.
| ShadowVulpi chapter 22 . 12/13/2021
V-Wheel review time.
As I somewhat suspected in the last chapter, it looks like we've arrived on French Island. Kind of has more of a sea-side, tree-house aspect to it than Tromba. Tromba kind of felt like the cozy starter town that every JRPG starts out with before you kicked out by the plot. I haven't seen much of this new island yet, but I can already tell that it's quite different and it's nice to see how other Pokemon make their homes.
The Hydreigon seems aware of what Pleo is though, and I'm surprised by her reaction. It seems like most Pokemon on the island don't have a problem with Protectors, yet she's the only one who seems adamant against it. Something tells me that maybe she's aware of something that no one else is, since it's been shown in previous chapters that the French Island people have their own protector that's active, so Protectors already being around isn't a new concept.
One thing I'm really not agreeing with right now though is all of the names you've got for everyone in different languages. Not only is a nightmare to keep track of whose who (like remembering that Excavarenne is a Diggersby), but it just feels kind of illogical. So these Pokemon are clearly able to talk English, yet they insist on calling their own species by the French names, something that Nida and Co don't even seem that baffled by anyway, as if they don't even realize they're talking in another language anyway. My question is, why? I could argue they call their species by their French names for culture, but I know you've probably got like 5 other languages floating around in this world and if every single species goes by a different name on the island, then you've got five names for one species. That's a lot to keep track of. There's calling Pokemon by foreign languages for Rule of Cool, and then there's doing it so much that it actually starts becoming confusing. And yes I know you have Author's Notes at the bottom, but it's asking a lot for me to scroll down and look at them in the middle of my read or hover over the text on some other website. It's kind of immersion breaking honestly.
That's all I have to say for now. I don't know if this review is very helpful since you're like 70 chapters ahead... but it was how I was feeling at the time and it might be useful info for your other story.
| Earthpatriot117 chapter 93 . 12/12/2021
Took a little while for it to come out, and just like that I finished reading it in 15 min. _' ung!
Now I want more! Xp
| Luke924 chapter 93 . 12/12/2021
Well at least they've nearly reached the vault but with Zelle and now Darzin breathing down their necks, I think Team Traveller 'ought to hurry on up and try and get the ledger already. Zelle, in particular, really nailing the whole "psycho Sylveon" vibe.
Still hoping Trizano makes a full recovery. Poor Percy's missing his home, too. Maybe once this is all over it'll be safe for him to return.
Sorry I don't have more to say, since it's hard putting my thoughts into words. I appreciate the amount of effort that went into this chapter considering it's length. Wouldn't hear any complaints out of me if you took a break before the next one.
See you in the next chapter.
| Namohysip chapter 86 . 11/15/2021
Hey Fobbie! This one is going to be a review of Fledglings for V-Wheel, but it also doubles as one for Blacklight... and I'm going to make it extra thorough because of it. I spent some time reading through the previous chapters as well just to refresh my memory, and thankfully I had left off at a point where things were really pivotal so the state of everything was pretty quick to come back to me.
It was kind of appropriate that I would return to this story in the same chapter where we're getting into the return of Pleo and his friends to his homeland, now that I think about it. Anyway, regarding that, overall I want to comment that this chapter had a feeling that I've been longing for from this story for a while. Specifically, that hominess and actual sense of preparing to fight someone instead of just running away all the time, now that they're actually defending their home. The stakes feel a little more real and relatable again. And I haven't really felt that effect very much since the story's strong start on the very same island; it's better late than never, I suppose!
Speaking of reunions, there was one remark in the middle of Nida meeting with her family that stood out to me as a slight missed opportunity. The remark about Nida "growing so fast" what with evolving so soon could have been an interesting way to lean in on how much they had gone through, I don't think I saw much of that in the scene itself. Would have been interesting to have even a moment of reflection on Nida's part, just a sentence or two with a heavy pause. Maybe later? It seemed like a prime opportunity, since it was actually a moment of respite, maybe even realization that she was home again. It can really hit someone after being gone for so long, y'know?
Considering the scale of Fledglings or how it seems to present itself at times, it kind of surprises me that three ships is considered an overwhelming force to an entire island, when it comes to mass resettlement and so on. I think it's partly a psychological sense of authority versus numbers, like how technically a bunch of herbivores could easily overpower a single predator in the wild, but they don't have the instincts to do so (usually.) Still, I do need to remind myself that the population scaling is small.
Reading this chapter overall, it seems like it's a great setup to use Pleo as a rallying figurehead to boost morale. It's not like the story hasn't been foreshadowing and leaning toward this as the role of Protectors or anything. More seriously, though, it really seems like the island has the numbers here, especially against three ships, and what we've seen of them. Just need to actually have them realize that.
Nitpick, but the meeting between Crom and Guardia was a little awkward in the narration. It's that habit of over-explaining how some characters are feeling when the humor was there as it is. It takes away from the moment if it's being over explained like that, y'know? There's no need to add extra details for why someone is reacting a certain way when the dialogue and the brief action or tag is enough. I think the tone comes across just fine!
So far, I like how the rallying at Kanga's place is paying off. Having two protectors (Well, one and a half. Or one and one percent depending on how you do the math) can definitely help things out, though Ander wandering off has me leery. I'm hoping it's not some shortsighted betrayal thing after everything that's happened; surely by now he knows that the Company getting the Protector would be even worse, right? I think a more optimistic guess would be he shrank off to find his own family. I suppose there's no telling, though.
Overall, this was a very ideal chapter for me to return to Fledglings for, and I'm glad after however many 50 or so chapters that some of that old magic from the early chapters is back. Here's hoping that it stays, and maybe we'll even get a few bookend echoes of how the first clash with the Company had gone-only this time, with a demonstration of how strong and how far Pleo and his team had come.
| Earthpatriot117 chapter 92 . 10/28/2021
Aaaaand I caught up...NOOOOOOOOOO! O_O'
I have a feeling that thru an accident will trade the admins children for the ledger. _'