Reviews for Alternative Great School Quiz
RedDragon30000 chapter 15 . 8/24/2016
Like many other chapters in this series, you use the AU aspect to explore the unexpected. In this case, the snowball punishment has horrendous consequences, Harvey's weaker body barely dealing with the cold. Like any traumatic experience, nearly dying because of the Prefects changes Harvey almost drastically.

He decides that he isn't going to take things from the Headmaster and the Prefects anymore and prepares to inflict the maximum amount of chaos he can, by striking at a time which is the most important for the Headmaster: the Eddy Hair Show. By giving such detailed descriptions of Harvey's clothes and accessories , you display just how much Harvey has changed, with a new 'rebel' attitude and he no longer fears how people will react to what he does.

Once in the hall, Harvey delightfully steals the show, in a way that was wonderfully refreshing. He uses his great store of knowledge about the Eddy Hair Show to play the crowd, then executes his revenge. No longer afraid of the Headmaster, he shows what he thinks of the man and his plans by mooning him, thus doing the one thing that the Headmaster has no way to counter. By acting in an immature way, he terrifies the Headmaster, and goes on to get his revenge on the Prefects too, displaying that Jeff no longer frightens him.
RedDragon30000 chapter 14 . 8/17/2016
I have to say that I am forever amused by the bizarre scenarios that you manage to fit into the Great School Quiz, but with Eddy Hair involved, it makes sense that strange and unexpected things would happen. In this case, I end up feeling a little sorry for the Headmaster. He is very close to achieving his victory and grimly endures all the chaos and mess of the show, only to discover that he has to PARTICIPATE in one of these useless activities. This is one of the few times where we see the Headmaster so uneasy and I have to admit that I like seeing him that way. His humiliation is increased when he relises that he has to dance and sing, and of course can do neither of those things. However, he does not have a choice, as participating and winning will earn his school 5 points in the Quiz, thus meaning a shorter time until he hypnotises the nation. The only silver lining he thinks he will get out of the situation is that he will pick one of his Prefects to compete with him, thus securing the win. However, even this hope is dashed when Eddy announces that the pupils competing will be chosen from a randomizer, and what makes things even worse is that HARVEY is the pupil chosen from the Headmaster's school, which horrifies both of them. The Headmaster very quickly makes sure to threaten Harvey, knowing that he will do what he can to sabotage the competition if us able. How, even this threat doesn't produce the win the man expects, as the rival school team participate with free emotions and the pupil on the other team isn't terrified. Even though Harvey didn't purposely lose, the Headmaster still wishes to take out his anger and humiliation on a victim who is unable to escape him and prepares to punish Harvey live on TV!

Harvey ends up in two minds in this situation. While ordinarily he would LOVE the chance to compete in a singing and dance competition, the circumstances this occurs in makes the pleasure he would usually feel competing completely evaporate. This time, he must actively help the Headmaster win. He knows that he could mess with the Headmaster's plan by doing badly, pretty much the first time he's possessed that kind of power on his own. However, the Headmaster's threat scares him from taking advantage of that power. Even though he gets a great deal of amusement from seeing the Headmaster being so uncomfortable, he is terrified the entire time he sings with the Headmaster, and this is made worse when he actually has to DANCE with the man he fears the most, especially because he lifts him in a move that leaves him frighteningly high above the floor, in a position where the Headmaster could easily drop him. Unfortunately, things get worse for him, as the Headmaster takes his anger of losing out on him, preparing to punish him even though Harvey didn't lose on purpose.
RedDragon30000 chapter 13 . 5/11/2016
I found it interesting that you focussed so much on Sue in this chapter, it was great to get such a through insight into what she is like as a person. Even while she is hypnotised, she displays a few distinct personality traits as well as her fanatical loyalty to the Headmaster. She is eager to display to SPLAT how superior she is to them and uses her greater physical strength to man-handle them all the way to the hall, easily collaring five of them at once. She intimidates them easily, despite not doing anything to actively harm them. SPLAT are all too aware of how much stronger she is, and don't dare to do anything rash while she can still pose a threat to them.

It was great to see the real Sue shine through once she regains her own mind and is finally free of the Headmaster's control. At this point, as you say, she has a 'shot fuse' (which was likely more contained under the Headmaster's control) and she demonstrates this by going up to the Headmaster and punching him in the face. Already feeling angry and betrayed by the man once she learns he has been controlling her, the Headmaster makes things worse for himself by displaying his lack of knowledge about feelings, attempting to regain control by hypnotising his Prefect again, since she has chosen to come up to him. This makes Sue lose her temper, and in my favourite part of the chapter, she pounds him until she's satisfied that she is finished with the man.
RedDragon30000 chapter 12 . 11/10/2015
I was pleasantly surprised when I found out who this chapter centered on, since Lucy is so rarely seen. It was a nice little touch giving her a crush on Harvey, yet also very sweet, as it shows that he is not as useless as he thinks himself, and as Jeff says he is, since he has TWO girls who love him. It was interesting seeing the quiz from Lucy's perspective, since she obviously has no idea what is going on and is only concentrating on the fact that her school has won. It was also very chilling when you describe the effects of the Headmaster's hypnotism, since it's very scary how quickly his control takes hold, and in only a few seconds, she is the Headmaster's obedient slave. I found the ending kind of bittersweet, since it clearly saddens Lucy that Harvey is clearly in love with Ingrid, and SHE loves him too. However, she knows she has time to find someone else, and happily accepts Harvey as a friend instead.
RedDragon30000 chapter 11 . 10/30/2015
You have really surprised me by how much depth you have put into Simon with this chapter. Like Peter, Simon is often sidelined, and although he is ranked higher, he usually has little focus. Once freed from the Headmaster's hypnotism, I love how you reveal that Simon actually has a hobby, one that doesn't involve school, and his enthusiasm over it makes him seem like a different person, someone who has a life outside of being a Prefect. I loved the way you showed how much Simon regretted his behaviour towards SPLAT. Freed from the Headmaster's control, he realises that SPLAT were never the troublemakers that he treated them as, and thinks about all of them, discovering that everything he hated about them were actually strengths and made them better than him. It was refreshing to see one of the Prefects show such complete remorse for how he treated SPLAT and the other children in the school, and it's clear that Simon is ready to make amends, since he intends to ask Mandy for her phone number.
RedDragon30000 chapter 10 . 10/26/2015
This chapter was a pleasant surprise, focusing on a character that we barely encounter in the book, yet you bring him to life very well here. Mr Venables clearly has a lot of pressure placed on him, as he has authority over the rest of the teachers, and if anything bad happens, then HE is the one in the firing line. You really highlight very well how imbalanced the school is, as Mr Venables answers to the Prefects, and is clearly terrified of Rose, when it should be ROSE deferring to what he says. Despite the success of SPLAT's plan to trap the teachers, Mr Venables somehow avoids the trap and is smart enough to deduce that what happens to the rest of the teachers is not down to a prank from Eddy Hair, but rather down to SPLAT. You actually make him somewhat scary when he attempts to escape from the swimming pool building. However, that air of menace is dispelled when he is easily cowed by Rose and hypnotised by the Headmaster as soon as he leaves the building.
RedDragon30000 chapter 9 . 10/10/2015
I found this chapter very interesting, since it focused on a character which is often sidelined, and he is well aware of this. I almost feel sorry for Peter, as the lowest ranked, he is well aware that he is the most junior of the Prefects and thus his skills are not to the same standard as his superiors. However, he believes that he should be entitled to more, which is what drives him to ask Jeff if he can have some of the children his superior has been given, then deciding to go directly to the Headmaster when Jeff refuses. He is clearly determined and almost brave, if he is prepared to ask the Headmaster to change his plans just for him. Once he finds that the office is empty, you show Peter as the sneak he can sometimes be when he decides to read the files that the Headmaster has written about his Prefects.

These files are a good device to use, because just as Peter gains more insight into his fellow Prefects, we are leaning along with him. This insight shows how carefully the Headmaster has chosen his prefects and how he is also aware of what problems may be encountered in the future due to them being able to exert more free will than the rest of the children. It's almost a shame that Peter read the files, as they make him feel even more inferior, and even more committed to prove himself. It was interesting t the end, as it shows that once he is free, peter is a lot happier and clearly the friendship with Jeff is not just derived from hypnotism.
RedDragon30000 chapter 8 . 10/6/2015
This was a very engaging chapter. Although we more or less know what the Headmaster is planning, it was interesting to see him sketch out some finer points, and those details really demonstrate the man's cruelty and intelligence. Knowing that he cannot hypnotise five out of the six children in SPLAT, he is well aware that he cannot get them to conform to him new regime. However, what he CAN do is utterly demoralise them by hypnotising a girl they have all grown fond of and make her forget about any good feelings she may have towards them, thus utterly destroying the bond she has with SPLAT. To add insult to injury, he intends to place Dinah in a high position so that SPLAT helplessly watch as she treats everyone else just how the Prefects used to treat their group.

I must say that the twist ending utterly shocked me, I did NOT see that coming! Interestingly, even though the Headmaster is currently FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS, he brushes such a situation off, thinking that all he has to do is get to the bottom and deal with a few aches and bruises. However, the hand of fate strikes at this point, and the Headmaster lands in such a way that he breaks his neck. The trigger for this event was quite surprising, as I was not expecting that PETER was the one on the other end of the phone call that set things in motion. However, what he does wish to discuss is very in-character, since Peter is the lowest ranked Prefect, and thus decides that he deserves more responsibility than the Headmaster has given him. It is likely that he has been given the least important job once too often, which triggered the fatal phone call. Perhaps if the Headmaster had put Peter in his place before this happened, he would not have died!
RedDragon30000 chapter 7 . 9/26/2015
Can I just say that you have done an excellent job with Elizabeth? Although you know that my fic will go a different direction to how things play out her, Elizabeth reacts exactly how she WOULD react, and I am very impressed. You demonstrated wonderfully how ton Elizabeth is feeling, and how much she fears for the future. On the one hand, she is worried enough about her friends that she participates in their plan to stop the Eddy Hair Show, thereby going against the man who has helped her so much, and risked angering him by acting against him. However, on the other hand, she clearly regrets having moved against the Headmaster's plan, as she is opposing the man who has kept her condition hidden from her very first day, and even defended her when targeted by the Prefects, who he normally holds in the highest regard over anyone else in his school. She is clearly sorry that the Headmaster is leaving, even going to thank him when he is leaving the school, as she knows how much she owes him. I love the way you demonstrate how much Elizabeth struggles to keep control, snapping more angrily at the Headmaster in her tirades against the man than she needs to, and revealing how much she had to struggle not to attack the Headmaster during the Quiz. I love the little hints you give about Elizabeth's relationship with Wally, as it is clear how much they have become a family, as her greatest fear if the Headmaster wins is being separated from him. I love the little text at the end too, showing a cheeky side to Wally that no-one at school would have seen.

It was interesting studying how the Headmaster behaves in this story. There is a massive contrast between how he treats Elizabeth compared with the rest of SPLAT. As he actually says, he is disappointed that Elizabeth chose to work against him, and for that reason he personally takes charge of her. However, his tone of voice 'softens' when he speaks to her, indicating that he is prepared to be lenient with her, even after what she has done. Determined to keep an eye on her, he seat her in the front row, and has Sarah watching her in case she DOES try something, well aware that she might be more tempted to do something if Rose or Jeff was guarding her. He is quick the calm her fears when she assumes that she will be separated from Wally, just as everyone else will be separated from their families. He clearly cares enough to want her comfortable by leaving her with someone she loves, and although he confirms that Wally will be 'under his control', he will not destroy the bond that the two share. You also clear spell out his reasons for treating her more gently than anyone else, as he initially wanted to keep her close to study her condition, then came to like her as a person. However, you also demonstrate that he will not hesitate to hold her accountable, threatening her with a spanking if she doesn't stop disrupting things, and is clearly prepared to make her sorry after the quiz for opposing him.
RedDragon30000 chapter 6 . 8/2/2015
I was pretty much floored when I found out who the central character of this chapter was! I never even contemplated that there could be much to write about Eddy Hair, a character that we don't see very much of. However, you proved me wrong in this segment! It was interesting with the direction you took it, as we are essentially seeing a 'hidden' part of the book. Even though it would logically happen this way, as Eddy Hair DOES get to the school and the hall, that bit is never revealed.

It was interesting that Simon was the one to show Eddy the way into the hall. As a loyal servant of the Headmaster, and a Prefect, he is naturally contentious of Eddy Hair and not really attempting to hide that from him. He shows that in his tone of voice, and the way the he pointedly refuses to hold the doors open for Eddy, even though any other child would do so. It's clear he is relishing the chance to take his place in the Headmaster's 'new regime'.

When Eddy Hair met the Headmaster, I was impressed by the way you wrote that meeting. It was funny the way that Eddy thought he was an 'overgrown bat', and kept on thinking about him as such all the way through the show. It's clear that even though he is quite a ditzy character, Eddy also sees that things are not quite right. The children are sitting TOO still, and not getting excited about meeting him the way other children would. I really felt sorry for him near the end, as his show is halted by his dyslexia, embarrassing him greatly. This ISN'T helped by the Headmaster telling him to get a move on, but at least he salvages things with the help of his assistant! I LOVED that he got revenge on the Headmaster by destroying his car, that must have felt good!

Even though the Headmaster is only present in the second half of this story, he still has an impact. He comes across as very creepy, especially in the way you describe his voice. I found it unsettling the way he was so proud over who unnaturally well behaved the children from his school were, then attempts to do everything he can to make out that SPLAT are troublemakers, just in case they try anything during the show. He is clearly very eager that NOTHING will stand in his way of getting to hypnotise the nation after his team wins, even the host of the show himself. The moment that Eddy has trouble with reading the question, he immediately orders him to stop delaying things, uncaring that he comes across as rude, even shutting down Mr Howard when he attempts to stopping saying anything else that's rude. I but it must have infuriated him when he discovered the damage to his car. First his plans are utterly RUINED, then he will have trouble getting home because of what Eddy Hair did to his car. I thought this chapter was thought-provoking and a much needed funny one after the last one!
RedDragon30000 chapter 5 . 7/26/2015
This story surprised me from the very first. As soon as I read about Lloyd contemplating over the knives, I honestly thought he was planning to use them on himself, but you really threw me when you revealed what he REALLY planned to use them for. I honestly never considered that Lloyd would do something as drastic as this, but it does make sense. After all, as he also realises, even this plan which they worked so hard on could easily fail (as indeed it does), and he wants to ensure that the Headmaster is stopped, even if it means he becomes a killer.

I was interested to see that you showed what the Headmaster was saying when he ranted at the television company, as we know he does so, but never find out what he says to the TV company. It is also at this point, that Lloyd is still battling with himself to go in and kill the Headmaster, wanting to go in when he finishes so he has the Headmaster's full attention on HIM. I was intrigued at the way the Headmaster handled himself. Even though Lloyd had the advantage, he is still very much in control, revealing that HE has a back-up plan as well, something in place in case he dies. In fact, had he NOT mentioned Dinah, the Headmaster had so unbalanced Lloyd in his attitude and what he said, that he may have potentially succeeded in disarming Lloyd. One of his last acts is underestimating the power of emotion, as he angers Lloyd to the extend of snapping as he starts to reveal what he plans to do with the girl that Lloyd is starting to see as a sister.

It was very sinister what happened after Lloyd killed the Headmaster, as he had managed to alert the whitecoats before he was killed. Even with the man dead, they are still under his power, and they manage to get rid of Lloyd horribly effectively. If no-one knows what we do, what Lloyd says about the Headmaster controlling people's minds through hypnotism sounds insane, and he is going to have a hard time convincing anyone that what he is saying is true and that he is actually sane (especially since he is seemingly starting to hallucinate). Even though he is being carted off to an asylum, he at least had the knowledge hat he has stopped the country being hypnotised.
RedDragon30000 chapter 4 . 7/19/2015
This chapter really surprised me, because you focussed on a character that I wasn't expecting. It was wonderful though, to get such an insight into Mandy's character. It was really sweet how she saw herself as the 'mother' of the group, especially towards Ingrid and Harvey, who clearly don't like being treated as their real age. I was very impressed by Mandy's bravery, attempting to call the police, even though she knew it likely wouldn't work. You also show how level-headed she is, as she soon realised that she would be unable to give the police a good reason to come, and cancels them.

I was as shocked and afraid as Mandy was when Sue suddenly appears, but once again, she shows that she has guts, running away from Sue to buy some time, and then resorting to attacking her when it's clear that Sue will catch her. It must have been a terrible moment for Mandy when she enters the boiler room, expecting to just find SPLAT there and some help against Sue, but instead encounters the Headmaster and Rose and Jeff. Even with the Headmaster there, I like how defiant Mandy is, refusing to say who she had been phoning at first, and then utterly losing it when the Headmaster threatens her 'little ones'.

Mandy must have felt so helpless when she was separated from SPLAT in the hall with only a threatening Sue there. However, it was really sweet when Mandy and Sue made up in the end, once the Headmaster's hold over everyone was lifted. A story with a nice twist, I really enjoyed this one!
RedDragon30000 chapter 3 . 5/31/2015
Woah, this really spooked me. I had a sense of foreboding as soon as Harvey decided to stop and talk to the Headmaster. It was interesting that he actually felt SORRY for the Headmaster, even though the man in question had tormented him for years, and ordered others to do so. It was also surprising, since he had attempted to kill him only a few hours ago as well.

As soon as he started talking to the Headmaster, I was basically screaming at him for being an idiot, since talking to the Headmaster after he just got defeated, wasn't the best plan in the world. I have to say that it totally shocked me when the Headmaster broke Harvey's arm, as that was the point where the story took such a dark tone, and became so very sinister. Then, it gets even worse for Harvey from that point onward.

I found it terrifying when the Headmaster kidnapped Harvey, as he was therefore able to make another attempt at what he wanted very quickly, especially since he now has Harvey as a hostage. There is also no-one to stop him from doing what he wants to Harvey, since no-one knows where the Headmaster's car is. I found it somewhat frightening when the Headmaster hurt Harvey, since he is ually so restrained. I hope Harvey fares better in the next chapter.
RedDragon30000 chapter 2 . 4/23/2015
I loved this chapter because you focused on something that his not been brought into the open that much: Harvey's knowledge of planes. I doubt even HE thought that much about it, until his knowledge became a doorway for the Headmaster to use. Then of course, he wishes he knew NOTHING.

You have to feel sorry for Harvey here, the one thing he is so proud of has unexpectedly turned him into a tool. You really made his fear and the weight he carried come across in this chapter. He faces a terrible decision, give the correct answer which will allow the Headmaster to take over the country, or refuse to answer it and let Manor Park win, but in doing so condemn himself and everyone else in SPLAT to a horrible death. I loved to way he eventually handled it, thus allowing him and SPLAT to come out on top.

As before, the Headmaster is terrifying in this chapter. It is clear just how closely he watches SPLAT and remembers everything about them, thus knowing that he can use Harvey as a pawn for his own ends. Even when Harvey is essentially putting a spanner in his works, he still manages to terrify Harvey, fully intending for SPLAT to be ripped apart on the Monday morning, even if his scheme with the Great School Quiz has failed. Of course, he did anticipate getting gunged!
RedDragon30000 chapter 1 . 3/16/2015
This was a great story, and one I really enjoyed. I think all of us have wanted to see Jeff get what's coming to him, and its brilliant that it was Harvey who got to do that. It must have been therapeutic, after all the times that Jeff has tormented him, for Harvey to get his own back on Jeff, despite the trouble it got him into.

I liked that Harvey tried to stop the Quiz in the only way he could, and no-one else knew what he was doing when he started the fight, not even the Headmaster. Speaking of the Headmaster, you really demonstrate the power he holds, even when he is seated in one place, and can't really move while in the middle of the show. Yet he halts the fight with a single snap of the fingers, and scares Harvey witless when he stops to speak with him. I am looking forward to see what else you come up with.