Reviews for Treasure
RagnarIsStillCrazy chapter 1 . 4/1/2012
A great story. Very well written.
Another Viewpoint chapter 1 . 6/20/2003
Girl begins ghoulish new career of desecrating

graves and stealing from the dead.I'd say Smaug is the one having the last laugh,not Dawn.
Ita chapter 1 . 5/3/2003
Well... this was the story that started it all, wasn't it? )

It's amazing to see how much your writing improved in these few months. *nod* Not bad for your first proper fic! Though I guess you're spotting all the flaws now, eh? )
Thalia Weaver chapter 1 . 3/18/2003
OOh, I like it. :) Creative, cute and clever- but it strikes me that you have a great opportunity to extend your characters here. They seem a bit flat (please don't take offense!).

For example, why was she taking the dare if the bullies were so loathsome? What's her relationship with her uncle Bard? Her parents? Is she feeling anything but scared of Smaug? Presumably this is right after the destruction of Esgaroth- why isn't she helping with the cleanup? Wasn't she affected by it? Why was she playing with bullies while she should have been helping out?

I love the premise, but I know very little about the characters (and so can't muster up a huge amount of affection for them).

Again, I think it's a terrific little story, but there are some opportunities that you missed to make it even better. I know CC can nettle, and I'm sorry if I offended!

-Thalia
Jen Littlebottom chapter 1 . 3/15/2003
Curiouser and curiouser. If a bit of Smaug was sticking up out of the water, though, I think half of Dale would have been trying to get at it. I'm sure people tried, even if he was submerged. Gold is gold is gold, and men are fools.

But I like Dawn, she's cute and kind of spunky. :) Not quite a Middle-earthy name, but I'll assume translated-from-the-Westron and leave it at that. And I have a soft-spot for Hobbit fics.

Nice to see Bard elevated slightly above his usual gloominess :)

Jenna
Mercurie chapter 1 . 3/13/2003
Cute. I like the contrast of spunky innocence next to all that destruction. The uncanonical-ness doesn't bother me, but I think it would have been more appropriate of Dawn hadn't got the gem, or at least not the particular one she wanted. Tolkien consistently put a negative emphasis on desire of that sort.
Treegal chapter 1 . 2/7/2003
Oh, pure poetry *sniffs and wipes eyes*

What is this Henneth Annun of which you speak?

Does anyone have any idea how good some of the stories in the Original Character category are? I strongly recommend them, and yu can certainly be counted among the most brilliant of the authors who post again, very good!
San Chewie chapter 1 . 1/31/2003
I like it. But I though Smaug's body was underwater...?
Deborah Ng a.k.a Mrs. Malfoy chapter 1 . 1/10/2003
This is really an excellent story, it's bloody brilliant and your usage of vocabulary is really good, keep wrting more fanfics!
Kate Lynn chapter 1 . 12/29/2002
I don't think the ending was that weak. I thought it was quite a good little story. And Bard was done nicely. Good job. 8-)

-Kate Lynn
Carden chapter 1 . 12/23/2002
That was pretty cool. The ending was fine, though I hope you might do more later, like with the elves of Mirkwood coming and confronting the dwarves. Does that mean that Smaug is dead, though?
Ainaechoiriel chapter 1 . 12/10/2002
I do think the ending a bit weak, mainly because it goes against canon. I do believe it was said in the Hobbit that Smaug fell to the bottom of the lake and no one would ever get the treasure he wore. My memory is not very good, so I could be wrong about that. Anyway, I didn't expect the girl to get the treasure and was a bit disappointed when she did. Otherwise you did a fine job of portraying the character and keeping Bard in character as much as we know of him.
Mike chapter 1 . 12/8/2002
Hey thanks for dedicating this to me. Nobody ever did that before. A nice little story. It brings to mind a question. What became of all the dragon gems and precious metals on Smaug's hide? They could have been recovered to help pay for the damages he did. On the other hand, were Smaug's personal riches tainted with evil, destined to cause more evil for those who hold them and therefore shunned by all but the foolhardy?
Editor manic chapter 1 . 12/8/2002
ok,ok...I saw...

All ye who are looking at this message,ignore it.

Only Klose knows what I'm talking about.
Altariel chapter 1 . 12/8/2002
Lovely vignette, and I particularly liked the characterization of Uncle Bard! :-)

And thank you for the dedication! Una/Altariel
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