Best Bell Test ever.

*sigh* don't get me wrong, this is some good shit, but after a DEPRESSING day and reading that AU Naruto is in fact a NarutA so yeah. Fuck. still good thougj

Bro why aren't you updating this. It is a damn good story.

the point where this story is discontinued just has to be here doesn't it? kill me slowly...

I call hax on this story. My brother came in and said 'did you fall over' then realized I was laughing my head off. It hurt so much to laugh so much it sounded like a 'strangled choke' apparently. Right now I am donning an emotionless mask in a vain attempt to stop my midsection from feeling like it's stabbed. Failure - that's what it is.

Lololol, I completely understand him. No, really. If I was reborn in the Narutoverse, I would train my ass off so I could become a marysue and not die. Forget being narutos friend so he isn't a lonely kid. He is way too loud. Forget stopping the emo Uchiha massacre. Hisashi is horrendous. Forget stopping people from dying. Except myself. And maybe Haku since I've always liked him for no reason. Actually. I don't even want to be part of canon. The knowledge is certainly useful, but they have such effed up lives I pity them and do not want to live that life. Ever. Not even if I could become God. Anyways...next chapyer

Nice! Loving this

Some tidbits: The constant ravings at Kishimoto, especially claiming that he didn't write characters the *way he was supposed to* ("Kakashi is going to be as strong and talented as he was supposed to be.") paint a vivid picture of a wish fulfillment fic.

Never mind not wanting to write Kakashi in a way in that he's more badass or that it appears more logical, but because Kishimoto didn't write, his own character, correctly.

That comes across as unbelievably arrogant. I can handle it when the OC makes such claims (I'm assuming he's not a mouth-piece), but in the author notes themselves?

That aside, the style and mechanics of the writing are very well done. Many a joke falls flat for me, the pacing isn't doing it for me and I can't empathize with these characters much at all (different PoVs could help, as the MC strikes me as blank, arrogant and wholly unlikable), but those are both very strong points.

However, at heart, the Protag is an overpowered OC with ridiculous skill and power. This is despite the fact that he's supposed to be a no-name deadbeat father who did such a terrible job at child-rearing that one of his own children ended up sliding a knife in-between his ribs.

The flow of exposition isn’t organic. Faced with a dozen paragraphs of it, my eyes glaze over and I end up skipping huge parts of it, unable to maintain an interest in it.

Naruto’s good at stealth and laying traps? Show, don’t tell.

The fight scene, much as can be called that, has some highlights, but it’s held back because there’s little to be gained from it. It’s assured that’ll either pass, or (somehow) fail and end up with a different instructor no matter what was said earlier. There’s no true stakes. It’s not as if weren’t going to take a year off in-order to indulge three hundred and sixty-five days’ worth of Slice of Life moments, so this entire scene feels needlessly dragged out. The final attack that nearly takes down Kakashi is cool, but it’s not worth all this build-up.

Kakashi's character? A massive over-exaggerating of his abilities. You said Kishimoto wrote him wrong. What he is here, is simply far, far too strong powerful to swallow. Also, Sasuke's Chidori variants? Ignoring him calling it "Chidori", why would he create a perfect replica of a jutsu Sasuke invented in an alternate future? If anything, he would've made something similar but noticeably unique, not a cut-and-pasted copy.

There goes generations of Ino-Shika-Chou. Broken, just like that. Lots of info-dumping this chapter.

Spoke too soon, it seems. That's some top-tier ruthlessness he committed.

What is a monster? Why, whatever the interpreter wishes it to be! The demented psycho who'll cut your throat while merrily thinking of all the good times you both shared together is but one of many different flavors.

Clue? Fancy eyes, is old, and name starts with an "O". Is the Sage (or someone within the immediate family) too obvious?

Thoughts... Don't care for the development of Naruto being a girl. Naruto is a boy; he has a penis. See him being described as "she" and "her" disconnects me, reminds me that this Naruto is truly an "Original" Character despite themselves. I can handle Jiraiya since he's not particularly important, but a main character just throws everything array.

The Protag himself? Mixed. I enjoyed that bit of coldness on his part, but their misremembering of facts and their tendency to drone on irritates me. Naruto's neck was never broken nor was their chest ever pierced. Not only did that never happen (the former especially), it never wouldn't have happened. The MC shredded canon once they befriended Naruto, thus ensuring that canon wouldn't go down as it did. Protag has nothing but disdain for Sauce, so Naruto would never seek to befriend him so as to not drive a wedge between their new BFF.

Sasuke's fate is pitiful. But giving he's literally the only chance of Konoha restarting the Uchiha clan, it shouldn't be long until someone makes a discovery. Seeing how Itachi react would be interesting (Tobi being sure to let him know).

Though I don't particularly care for the Protag at the moment, preferably this will change. Just can't think of him as being in his forties, since that's ridiculous with his emotional maturity resemblances any but. I did enjoy the twist at the end.

Naruto/Naruko not having a penis was supposed to be surprise? It's but stated when the MC howls out ""Why him too? Kishmotoooo!" At that point, literally the only characters that were introduced were Jiraiya, Naruto and the MC, so it's easy realize who the "too" is.

Onto other matters – the Protag! No person at their supposed age would behave or think that way unless they literally never grew up from their early teens. I don't see his supposed ruthless side that proclaimed to come this chapter. What ruthless act did he engage in this chapter? Punch Sasuke in the face (because Sasuke Uchiha)? Give Naruto a couple bruises because he didn't like the way they were behaving?

As is, it feels like the genre split (humor) holds this story back. Majority of the jokes fell flat, such as the OC uncomprehendingly trying to understand why Naruto's place was such a mess (Occam's Razor) and so long to do it.

I'll read a couple more chapters, hoping I'll find more than the recycled premise of "SI helps make the world and/or its inhabits better" (including limiting it to certain characters the author may or may not like) that so many fix-fics employ.

Like Shikamaru said 'This is bullshit!' but still i laughed my ass off reading this fic

Really hope you continue this.

I love this so much already but one thing... He really shouldn't get on the bad side of characters as strong as Naruto and Sasuke... but I still look forward to reading the rest of this.