Reviews for The Gamer of Sunagakure |
---|
![]() ![]() One of the fanfic with very amazing details that I've ever read. One thing that I think was completely wasteful was that Genji NEVER exploited the save feature to its full potential. He could have completed every bonus objectives. Gambling would not be a gamble. He could even try to learn fatally risky things (like restricted justus or dangerous places) and then re-learn them after loading. He could also commit immoral but very effective info collectings by kidnapping, torturing, and killing. Also he tried emulating Han Jee-han's abilities REALLY LATE. Genji should have allocated a lot more WIS. Or rather, shouldn't he be much wiser and efficient with that high of WIS? |
![]() ![]() ![]() Too bad you aren't updating anymore. It's a really good book. |
![]() ![]() ![]() pls update |
![]() ![]() ![]() I’m 99.999% sure this is dead, but it was really good so I hope one day it starts updating again |
![]() ![]() ![]() With the amount given 1,175,000 ryo to 40 d-ranks averages almost 30,000 ryo per... with his first giving 5k and his second giving 20k this should be closer to 12k average, if you halve the earnings or double the number of missions it would be more in line with stated gains. This is assuming he doesn't get the messenger quest regularly, as there is a regular team for it(plus it's monthly) |
![]() ![]() ![]() I really hate ID create in gamer fics. It's 99% of the time just a way to overpower the MC while not touching the plot, which is in the end, just lazy. It's just a cheap shortcut for progression in a story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Principal*, not "Principle." |
![]() ![]() ![]() Shadow clones are a konoha kinjutsu that's so secret it's recorded in the hokage's personally protected scroll, a place afforded the same protection as the dreaded Impure Resurrection technique. Why would interrogating iwa nin produce the knowledge? canon naruto learning it was clearly the sandaime allowing him to steal what was likely a fake copy of the real thing that just happened to have the first jutsu listed upon opening as one naruto alone could use in a manner no other konoha shinobi could. the rest of that scroll was probably misinformation. Overall nkt a bad story. there's a lot of leveling taking up space, and not enough living happening in my mind. the story needs to be good to make the rest interesting. leveling screens and endless stat increases isn't story telling. In 20 years never once did any of us level up in Halo, yet that story is a legend we still pull out 20 years later to relive. Since this really was more of a Preparation for Duty arc, lots of training and skill development was reasonable. Now that you're moving into proper character development, missions, choices, relationship development, and general living should have more time dedicated to them. Overall enjoyed the story, though I would suggest implementing s Super Critical system for moves that should be a killshot. if the kazekage didn't stop them, a level 5 waitress could cut his throat deep enough to leave a mark on his spine. Definitely a one move kill. Yet within the current system, if Genji did the same thing, would the math of his melee allow him to drop the kazekage all the way to zero? again, assuming the kazekage doesn't fight back, why would a waitress be able to one shot him via this method, but Genji can't? this is where the Gamer stories always come up wanting for me. if Genji puts a kunai through the ear of an enemy, does he get a kill, or does the enemy stay standing with a blade lodged in his brain because Genji didn't have enough spreadsheet skill damage to take all his HP? Maybe you have a plan to work around this, but if not I suggest you keep it in mind. Hope to see more of this story, I'm curious as to where he is relative to the rookie 9. I think he's their age since temari and kankuro had a few years on them, and Genji is younger than kankuro, but I'm not sure. I'm also curious as to whether Genji will possibly help his budding Taijutsu specialist friend to develop his own pathe to the Gates. Further I wonder whether Genji is aware of Shiras Owl method of removing all sound from his movements, since it seems like a super useful skill to develop. Finally it seems like he's not pjtting as much effort into the Black Sand as he should be. it's his great equalizer, the skill that could truly allow him to fight above his weight class if he had developed it more. He could manipulate it like Gaara does, like the 3rds puppet with the massive multiple poisoned shaft thing, he could even have developed a move that mimicks the rasenshurikens blast by turning the iron sand into tiny needles and rotating it around a single point like a massive rasengan that shreds anything in the area into peices. he could have a smaller version to use like the hyuuga kaiten, that doesn't require him to spin since he can do it with his mind. It just seems like he's not spending enough time on something that really would set him apart. puppetry might be useful for the chakra control, but why bother with puppet when his iron sand clones will be far more durable and versatile than anything short of masterwork puppets? as soon as he's gotten the chakra control benefits, he should drop puppetry as dedicated training time. maybe it could be just be a stress reducing hobby after that. Hoping this isn'ta dead story, and hope he puts more effort into the Iron sand. |
![]() ![]() ![]() throwing every single money transaction into the list is padding word count and unnecessary. keep it in your notes and just list his money at the moment of the character sheet posting. |
![]() ![]() ![]() buying from, much less adding another foreign milk vendor doesn't improve suna. it means more money is leaving the economy. buying from a foreign supplied vendor is importing, not exporting. importing removes money from local circulation. increasing export for suna means developing products and services that suna merchants export to other lands. This is basic stuff, unless I'm misreading the chapter, or the Genji grew up in a capitalist society without learning the basic difference between importing and exporting. sunas problem is it has a trade deficit. money being spent on imports isn't being replaced by income generated by exports. By not sourcing locally, money that would have gone to support local farmers, laborers, mechanics, traders and other suna industry instead goes to support konoha's economic interests. i realise that sourcing milk in a desert locally is difficult, but don't make it sound like a second foreign importer improves suna economically. look what happened to detroit after American car companies shifted their manufacturing to foreign soil. that's what's happening slowly to suna. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Advice: don't pad your word count and waste time printing throwaway skills like dishwashing. if EXP is going to be a thing with that stuff, then keep track of it in your notes, not in the story. It's just not worth the space after the initial quest to gain influence with his landlord. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Shouldn't "Deception" be something like "x% chance to fool someone within 5 levels of Genji, diminishing chances by 1% per 5 levels above Genji", or something to scale effectiveness on higher characters? knowing that some teachers are over 150 levels above him means years before any tiny perfectly believable fib will get by, much less one that might be important. |
![]() ![]() ![]() The biggest bullshit here that has me teetering on not bothering to read past your fist chapter is the save game. It completely erases stakes from the story, because I know that the character never has to live with consequences when he can just redo ad infinitum. he can live a perfect life of perfect choices by rotating his saves. he could literally do a 3 year rotation, every new year if he is satisfied with the previous year he updates or starts over. or he keeps two on yearly rotation and one is the srart of each day when he wakes up so he can always redo the day, or up to 2 years. even with a 3 slot limiter anyone with basic reasoning skills would almost never have to face consequences for their choices. it feels more like a crutch for the author, and I'm not confident right now in your ability to generate immersion with the story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Is the picture for this story a yu gi oh card? |
![]() ![]() ![]() While this is an amazing gamer story it has some things I dislike. The first thing is the lack of more iconic jutsu in the Abyss store like Hiraishin,Raikiri,Chidori, the Raikages Lightning Chakra Armor along with a lack of Summoning Scrolls. Second when Genji first met Goro he could have reloaded the save file and fulfilled the two bonus objectives. Third why is he even thinking about buying a Rasengan skill scroll when he knows the steps to doing it? And finally I feel he is stretching himself thin with the Puppetry and Fan style training and has slowed down his growth immensely. |