|Reviews for Dream Girl : A Collaborative Fic|
| jasongd chapter 1 . 4/16
Another great story congratulation
But I would have it cut into twelve chapters after 1k words
| Number14 chapter 1 . 3/22
| kukisanban565.dhbubbles6324 chapter 1 . 3/23/2016
this was crazy but cool
| willam and jack and jake chapter 1 . 3/12/2016
nice love it
| IsmaelParica chapter 1 . 3/4/2016
Nice, very nice indeed.
| D4rK Sid3 chapter 1 . 12/2/2015
It is such a shame that this story doesnt has more reviews. I re read it again on tumblr and found it here. Always one of my favorite pairings, sufice to say all characters were on par. I really liked how this was mostly Mabel centric and the explorations of her brother's mind...the secrets and environment its just i imagine his mind to be. Though. I was expecting more defenses from his part. Nevertheless it wwas a good story and Im so glad it is here. Tumblr doesnt accept reviews so I thought of stopping by and get this story one.
| AEceros chapter 1 . 9/26/2015
Wow, great story! The unique idea combined with impeccable writing was quite an enjoyable read. Your writing of Mabel's inner thoughts is one of the best I've seen for a character. It might even be the very best I've read in that aspect, and if not, then it's still top tier. The way her thoughts seamlessly flowed between taking stock of the situation, flashbacks, and worries about Dipper was both enjoyable and ingenious. All I'm trying to say with my redundant ramble is that the writing gave me an immersive (and have I said enjoyable?) read. It's rare to find a well written fanfiction that's written in 3rd-person-limited properly, yet can still fluidly recount the characters thoughts and feelings without seeming contrived or awkward.
P.S. I saw that you didn't have very many reviews, so I thought to add a slightly more in depth review than just an "I love you so much! That was an awesome, diabetes inducing, and orgasmic read!"
P.P.S. I thought that the ending withe letter couldn't have been more perfect! If had tried to suppress my grin when I read Mabel's note, my face would have exploded.
| ClarkyDee chapter 1 . 7/18/2015
Very enjoyable read!
It's always a gamble to write anything surreal plot elements (especially dreaming) since it can come off as cheesy or confusing, however this story manages to do it perfectly. The dream elements are creative and interesting, surreal and abstract enough to be always interesting but concrete enough to be easily understandable. The pacing isn't lost to long overly drawn out descriptions which helps keep each scene of the dream scape interesting.
I always enjoy your dialogue and this time was no exception. Marble Dipper and Mabel scenes are witty and fun to read. The pacing and the structure of your writing is solid and your creative voice comes through clearly throughout the story. You know how to structure a paragraph to make action exciting, delivery of dialogue interesting, and everything else they don't teach in English class.
As for criticism, here's something. While Dipper's feelings are hinted at and explore throughout the story, I felt that Mabel really only showed signs of her affection right at the end. Of course, she still cared for Dipper throughout but her sudden shift in the climactic scene (you know which one I mean) seemed abrupt. Maybe it was the result of the fic being relatively short but you didn't seem to have that problem in some of your other stories and even in this one Dipper's feelings are well developed. Just something to consider in the future since the emotional build up in these kinds of stories is the main draw (at least for me).
Now I'm off to leave overly analytical reviews for your other stories. Away! *flies off*
| MoonBox87 chapter 1 . 5/13/2015
You are sick, I think I love you...lol.
Pantsus awayus made my day.
| Dichotomus chapter 1 . 3/28/2015
You really nailed Dipper and Mabel's personalities. In fact they were so well done that I half expected you to sign off as Alex Hirsch (I'm joking of course, cause Alex has publicly stated he's against the ship [then again he'd be kicked off the show had he said anything else])
Dipper would totally have guardians for his wet dreams.
and the smut was hot too.
| zephyr hb chapter 1 . 3/28/2015
Dipping sauce haha, never gets old.
| Bigmike33321 chapter 1 . 3/27/2015