|Reviews for The Barista|
| Iona sg chapter 36 . 1/21
Even though this vignette looks plain at the first glance, it's actually a little different, special. The Wizard of Oz themed golf thingy makes it a bit surreal. As does this:
"Nothing says team building like miniature golf."
*giggles* I can easily imagine Jack thinking that. An added bonus is the mental image of Teal'c dressed in golfing attire.
The five-way narrative works really well for this story. I think it gives the reader a better overview of the story because the characters are each preoccupied with their own problem. We'd get an incomplete and very tinted (and tainted *g*) view of the events if you stuck to any single one if them. It also gives the impression of each character taking their turn playing. Given the plot, that's perfect.
I liked that it was Sam who was the voice of reason this time.
Poor Kira. At least Jack was there to save her. His chivalry towards her is adorable, strange as it may sound. (Jack O'Neill, adorable... hmm...) Now he's her bodyguard too.
"And you were the one who wouldn't get off the damn boat!"
A spaceboat! :)
" "Jack, I think I love you," I say to my rescuer, as I skip down the yellow brick road towards Daniel, Sam and Murray."
Good use of the yellow brick road, btw. *g*
So in the end Jack saved Kira from a date from hell and in return she saved his friendship with Daniel. :)
| Iona sg chapter 35 . 1/12
OMG! I haven't laughed like this when reading a story in... ever.
Stefan has a great knack for the funny. The way he describes things is hilarious. His flirting for fun is... *breaks down in laughter again* Poor Daniel.
Stefan's stories are the Barista version of dessert - chocolate coffee cake with caramel macadamia paste, vanilla scented whipped cream and almond sauce. (If I made anyone hungry, sorry; also if opposite.) A rich over-the-top indulgence. :) :)
""Triple tall macadamia almond mocha," I reply.
"I can't drink this!" Daniel laughs, sliding the drink back my way."
I'll have it if he won't. Mmmmm.
But seriously, I love the sliding game that follows this. Reminds me of that Jack and Daniel's did-not/did-too exchange (in 'Fifth Race', I think). The way Stefan won here was great too. Very sneaky. *bg*
Even whump through Stefan's eyes is different, including the most unusal description in all the whump I've ever read - "that slightly gaunt quasi-supermodel look about his face." *snickers* A good description, though.
| Iona sg chapter 34 . 12/30/2019
You wrote one of the the most normal Barista chapters for one of the most abnormal SG-1 episodes. *g* And both were fun. (Now I'm wondering if Jack and Teal'c went to Victor's during a loop or two... )
Nice touch with the glimpses of Kira's 'groundhog' day too...
Jack's cheerfulness is so infectious. Jack's happiness made Kira happy. That, in turn, makes me happy each time I read this vignette. The entire Kira and Jack Show does.
Actually, this story was pure Kira and Jack Show *and* Jack and Daniel Show with a little Kira-and-Daniel thrown in - just what this fic is about. If I had to pick a chapter other than the first (maybe even including that one) to introduce The Barista to a new reader, this one would be it.
"Off loops? "Jack, I can't believe you just said that!" Daniel admonishes, looking shocked."
I adore this conversation. (Won't copy the whole thing.)
"Discovered a new deep space telemetry astral body?"
Now; having read this chapter... I'm hungry. You made me hungry. You're a sneaky person, dietcokechic; making people fat like this. *goes off to see what's in the fridge* :)
| Iona sg chapter 33 . 12/19/2019
Oh, sweet Daniel! He feels for Sam and blames himself for not doing enough to prevent what happened.
I found the entire conversation about the episode's events poignant somehow. I can't even explain why. Wonderful writing.
Martouf is not an obvious choice when dealing with Divide and Conquer, but that event would have as much impact as the 'lie detector' part. It made for a wonderful vignette.
The fact that Kira thinks Sam could be dead implicitly lets us know that she realises their work is dangerous (bodyguards...), even if she doesn't know for certain.
" "She isn't fine." Seeing my face crumple once again, he quickly goes on, "But she will be Kira. Sam will be fine soon." "
I love how you used this beautiful thought from the show. It fits perfectly here.
My favourite funny bit was Kira guessing what sort of an excuse she'll be offered this time.
"Heh, maybe he'll use the old, "the aliens made him do it" - definitely a crowd pleaser!"
Anise! *snicker* (Kira really is clairvoyant.)
I did, however, find it a little odd that Daniel didn't flinch at the " Kree". ;)
| Iona sg chapter 32 . 12/10/2019
*looks at today's date* Happy Barista anniversary!
In honour of this day (mostly by coincidence) I'm reviewing my favourite chapter.
It has everything. Kira finding out what Daniel does; figuring it out herself, actually. Her outside POV of Daniel's speech from the movie. Her witty commentary, even wittier here with her drunk mind going in all directions. All it's missing is some whump.
Come to think of it, that's not true: you whumped Kira!
Moreover, this vignette is a 'clip show' chapter! This must be unique in the world of fanfiction.
That picture of hers is an ingenious addition too. A visual that connects to this epiphany.
"Aliens building the pyramids of Giza ! Can you imagine such a sight!"
They probably employed slaves. I can just imagine the temper tantrums the Goa'uld would throw if they had to do the work themselves... *eg*
The passage where the epiphany strikes is one if the best parts of the entire Barista and it bears repeating without commentary:
"Daniel's theory wasn't just a theory! He's an alien archaeologist and Jack and Sam are his military body guards! That's it! I'm right! I know, I am!"
Pity she forgot what she'd discovered. A brilliant twist, though.
I have the best time every time I read this chapter.
| Iona sg chapter 31 . 12/9/2019
Kira's back home! Yay! *g*
This way we get to read the funniest welcome-back scene. I loved the two talking gossip and Stefan's so amusingly obnoxious.
" "Victor is dating a younger woman," Stefan says scandalously,"
ROTFLOL! I can almost hear him in my mind's ear. Perfect adverb!
What can I say about the O'Malley's scene? I laughed here as much as I laughed when watching the ep... I bet they wrote Upgrades just for that scene. Too funny regardless of the POV.
And since we know Kira likes to go there to witness interesting scenes involving our favourite team, it only makes sense she'd find herself right there and then. (Aha! You gave her ESP and never pointed it out. *g*) Pity she didn't bring Stefan along, though; I'd love to read *those* comments.
"Jack has that total, 'I can kick your ass without working up a sweat' air about him."
Is there a better description of Jack?
"I must have had more to drink then I thought, because I swear I saw Jack and Daniel tossing 200 pound guys around like they were a sack of potatoes!"
I know I'm repeating myself but this was too funny.
"As I'm getting into the cab, I think of the perfect line, "Hi Daniel, beat up any bullies lately?" "
LOL! ... He does that for a living, btw. ;)
| Iona sg chapter 30 . 11/29/2019
I always like letter (and memo) fics so it's natural I loved this one. The idea of Kira and Daniel being old-fashioned made me chuckle. ... But maybe they are. Just a bit. :) I can easily imagine Kira writing a letter by hand and Daniel playing along. I also liked how this inspired her classmates to write their own letters.
What I liked most about the first letter was how you used spices to introduce Egypt. Just a mention of them and I could almost see a warm country and its atmosphere, its smells and maybe even its sounds. And the idea of Kira wanting to learn to cook just for the spices... actually, not odd at all.
Why would it be bizarre that Daniel has his own doctor? As all fans know, he needs one. *g*
How were the pyramids built? *giggles* I love these Kira-almost-getting-it moments.
"I'm afraid I'm as long-winded with the pen as I am in person."
This fic reader says not long-winded enough.
One good side of the letters format is that we get many different funny bits. Like Stefan trying to flirt with Daniel. LOL!
"... there might be more to the pyramids than just some really large rocks."
Ha! Rocks! Jack's definitely rubbed off on him. *g*
Nice to see Siler getting a mention too.
"I told Jack that you had requested that I give him a big hug, and he just looked at me funny and said, "I don't think so Daniel." He went on to tell me that he'll just collect that hug from you when you return."
ROTFLOL! I can just imagine Jack's expression. This must be the funniest bit of this chapter.
"His name is Mosi and he's super cute! Sorry, I know you don't care if he's cute or not—that just came out."
*chuckles* This was so cute. :)
Poor Daniel. He seems to be missing something all through this letter. First the 'minor' infection that keeps him away from the field. Then this:
" You'll have to tell me about your archaeology class! Who's teaching it? What are you studying? Will you go on any digs? Can I come? smile"
He's missing the good old run-of-the-mill archaeology. It's an adorable, very Daniel-like bit, but there seems to be something wistful behind these lines too.
Oooooh... He's sending Kira chocolate? I want a friend like that. *g*
This was such a lovely letter about Jack and Daniel's friendship.
Did Jack even have an office before S8? Good reason why "Take your Barista to work day" wouldn't work here.
| Iona sg chapter 29 . 11/19/2019
Poor Daniel! A whump nicely written, though.
I just realised that most of Barista h/c involves Kira phoning Jack. No wonder that by this point she knows all steps to getting to him. *g* You even upped the game this time by making Janet participate.
I liked how the story went from Kira (trying to) comforting Daniel to Jack comforting Kira. These three make a good team. (Kira on Daniel: "You know if he wasn't so darn cute and one of my favorite people..." and on Jack: "I knew I liked Jack for a reason!" )
" "Hey." Daniel says squinting up at Jack.
"Hey." Jack says in return. Oooo- big talkers these two."
How else could it be? It's the Jack and Daniel show - if one can't say much, the other one shouldn't either. ;)
| Iona sg chapter 28 . 11/9/2019
Yay, Jack's back! :) :)
When was the last time I mentioned how much I love how you write Jack? Too long, definitely.
I liked how you spread out the Jack's-missing plot over several chapters (more effective than a one-off), but I'm glad he's in this fic again. I sensed real fondness between him and Kira in the scene where he comes to the shop... I suppose that's why I adore this friendship so much. Easygoing, but they connect really well.
I see this vignette mostly as a reunion story between Jack and Kira and yet 100 Days and Shades of Grey become neatly woven into one another. Not an immediately obvious combination of stories that works.
"I know Jack must have said goodbye, but Daniel sure didn't."
I have no idea how to express the adoration for this line. So simple, yet it carries so much meaning.
And its longer version:
"Daniel and Jack sure seem to have a complicated relationship; I have lost track of the number of timesbthey have been worried about one another. Pissed at one another seems to come up fairly frequently as well."
The two, in a nutshell.
The ending was perfect. I wouldn't say you wimped out; it was simply the most appropriate place to end. I think this is sorta like what I said about chapter 24 and FIAD - an important ep but not really Kira's. And she's not that nosy! :)
"Still, I know I'm not getting the whole story here, so I'll just make sure my friends know that I'm here if they need a sympathetic ear..or large quantities of caffeine."
This is another reason to love Kira. She just accepts the secrets, trusts the guys they know what they're doing and offers whatever support she can.
| Iona sg chapter 27 . 10/29/2019
This vignette has such a lovely air of warmth despite the heavy mood.
Talk about coming down! Even though Kira's path to graduation didn't seem like much of a high.
"They'll mail it to me in a couple of weeks after they are certain I don't have any overdue books or anything."
This couldn't have helped either. How banal, bizarre and trivial and bureaucratic this sounds. Sure, there's a ceremony later, but six months later it's more of an afterthought than something worthwhile. Poor Kira!
I never imagined that a funk could be amusing, but I found her sarcastic musings at the beginning entertaining despite her blues. I felt for her and I smiled occasionally too.
You chose the perfect time for Kira to learn about Daniel's parents - both because of the theme (his past and the circumstances of his education) and the mood reserved for this vignette.
" "Now I know what Jack must feel like when we're off.." He pauses for just the slightest of seconds before continuing. "Off on a mission and I ask a lot of questions.""
I adore these tiny moments when they almost falter.
I liked the whole dialogue about the diploma/degree very much. No superfluous thoughts and facts, lovely flow... and all the key points got a mention. You have a great flair for dialogues.
I didn't even realise that this was the Millennium December until I got to that line. Made me try to remember what I did on that date. :) (Btw, snow for Christmas? I'm jealous.)
" "It's December 15th Daniel! Everyone is home with their families!" I reply a little sharply. Daniel's face falls a little and I mentally kick myself for being the fool. Not only does Daniel apparently have no parents. But now his wife is dead and his best friend is missing. Some Christmas he's having. God, I'm a horrible person aren't I?"
*sniff* This really gets to me. One doesn't really think about it, but it must've been the worst time for him.
And thus, along with the Daniel's high school/college bit, the story went from making me feel for Kira to making me feel really bad for Daniel; even though the vignette was about her blues and not his.
| Iona sg chapter 26 . 10/26/2019
Yay, Stefan's back! :)
I like how this chapter ends up being about Kira's crush on Daniel even though that's not obvious at the first glance. How she keeps denying it the whole chapter - mostly to herself.
"Maybe I can turn this around to my advantage."
Kree! (I always wanted to say that. *g*)
"What will you give me in return Dr. Jackson?"
"I'll answer any three questions you have about me.."
She traded favours for questions? Kira, being a Greek fan, should know by now that asking Daniel something is like asking an oracle - come with a question and leave with a vague answer and two new questions.
She did get something out of it this time, though:
"My mouth drops open on its own accord and I stare at him in awe. Daniel, you are my hero! My linguistic hero!"
...I love these lines. No more crush... Definitely... Riiiight. *g*
" "That would technically be three questions Kira; how many languages do I speak; how many languages do I read and how many languages do I write?" "
I love the dialogue at the end - the part regarding the last question - too. Plus the conclusion that Daniel's job is strange and dangerous. LOL! True, as well.
| Iona sg chapter 25 . 10/23/2019
Oh boy! At first I thought this was going to be another angsty chapter. The universe was out to get Kira and Kira was out to get Daniel. I think this was the first time that she was this irked by him.
But then... the Jack and Daniel Show started! What better way to diffuse a difficult situation! I had to smile along with Kira. It was refreshing to return to the fun after a number of angsty chapters.
| Iona sg chapter 24 . 10/22/2019
Poor Sam! She seems to have an even harder time here than after Jacob (chapter 15). Your Sam angst is excellent. You got her worries, frustration and feelings of helplessness across well.
And to top it all off, she got kree'd too! :)
The interaction between Jack and Sam was so adorable in this installment. How sweet it was that they both had the same plan for cheering up their teammate.
I'd actually prefer a 1st person story - I missed Kira's commentary. There are obvious advantages to the 3rd person narrative, however:
a) Please don't hate me for saying this, but I think FIAD isn't really a part of Kira's story. It's an intimate story for SG-1 and Janet. It is an important episode, though, especially for Daniel (he's the second main character of this fic after all), so it makes sense to include it anyway. Using 3rd person narrative distanced Kira from FIAD while still making her an active participant in this chapter. (Does this make any sense?)
b) It offered the opportunity to add some lighthearted moments which a worried Kira wouldn't note.
The leather. Jack drinking Sam's coffee. A little bit of worry for the houseplants. Soundalike phrases like "large bin of coffee beans". :)
c) There's more room for other (Jack's...) views than just Kira worrying about Daniel and feeling sympathy for Sam. This alone is a good enough reason to use the 3rd person narrative.
Nice to see Teal'c mentioned too. He often gets left out of FIAD fics and I think it's just as important an ep for him as it is for Daniel.
| Iona sg chapter 23 . 10/9/2019
Forgot a sentence. I wanted to write: in Jack-safe quantities *and* in Jack's style. *g*
| Iona sg chapter 23 . 10/8/2019
You said something about Jack talking about what happened in this chapter's episode... Where, exactly? He didn't. See! Look!
"We're not going there."
"Daniel, we are not going to discuss it."
"I'm sure that would go over really well."
"This is something I *totally* need to delegate Daniel."
"What Carter and I have to deal with is absolutely nothing compared to what Dr. Carter went through. What Dr. Carter is going through right now."
... ahem... uh... well... ah... I take it back. He did discuss it. In Jack-safe quantities.
But seriously; great dialogue. It never became too mushy or too detached or even too long-winded. Add a little sprinkling of good-natured evil in Daniel - it's all too rare we see that side of him - and it's perfect.
I'm not an SJ shipper and I can confirm this isn't too shippy. Or at all - I easily read it as a gen.
However, I liked how you added romeo and juliet! They seemed so out of place in this story with their romantic bar oblivion and lack of troubles that they changed the mood of the fic nicely.