|Reviews for Reinforced Revelations|
| mc.zero chapter 22 . 5/8
The two of them being caught by Filch of all people... felt kinda cheap xD
| Nate chapter 9 . 4/20
Over melodramatic shit-fic.
The adult Potters all need to die - flat out.
| Guest chapter 22 . 4/13
Wow. I rather distinctly remember reading this series, and it's quite a shock to note the dates now - it certainly doesn't feel like it's been two years since the last update, and I was reading it as it was being written for more than an entire story in the series!
It was nice cementing where some of the less-exactly placed memories of various parts of Lupine Horror's stories came from. Things get a bit wavery after long enough, especially reading and rereading both the "Reinforced" series and "Fate's Gamble"s at about the same times.
It truly is an excellent series. 3
(And I'm still quite curious if Fate decided she wanted some hellhounds of her own!)
| kgoolday chapter 22 . 4/6
I hope you continue this story. It's been almost 2 years since you updated it but I hope you do continue it. I've read all three reinforced stories in less than 4 days. It's really good! Again I hope you continue this.
| Warehouse1 chapter 22 . 4/1
I loved this series of yours, hope your muse comes back to this someday :(
| Thunder Dragon chapter 22 . 3/16
Seeing as one of my friends have posted some of Kaiser Dragons ideas you can take down reviews that hold his challenges.
| YuukiAsuna-Chan chapter 22 . 2/15
Ahahaha, nice chapter.
I like that Fate and Harry are getting closer. Would like to see more interactions with Fate, Rein and Isis though.
Look forward to next chapter.
| YuukiAsuna-Chan chapter 21 . 2/15
Sigh, another story going this way with Lily. Am i supposed to be sympathetic? Cause i aint at all, and doubt i ever will.
| YuukiAsuna-Chan chapter 15 . 2/14
Well, that wasnt smart Harry.
| Zekrob chapter 4 . 1/10
Ravioli, Ravioli, don't mess with the god-trap loli
| KnowPein chapter 22 . 1/9
plz update this series too.
too good to be left
| dvilleza chapter 22 . 12/26/2017
I do hope this story continues
| Mephi-Dross chapter 1 . 11/22/2017
So, I've basically binged on this story and Fate's Gamble the last week or two. Overall I liked it, though Fate's Gamble got a bit too ridiculous for me, so I haven't read the sequel yet.
But that brings me to some of the issues with your stories. I'll focus on the Reinforced series, since I feel it's the better one, but a lot of it is also present in Fate's Gamble. And of course it's all just my opinion, so it's fine to ignore it if it doesn't fit the type of story you're aiming for.
1. The Power Creep
Harry is getting too strong, too quickly. Granted, the world of HP is pretty low-powered compared to both the Nasuverse and the MGLN world. And you can work with it by throwing Harry into those other worlds. It's probably just me preferring the HP world as mainstage, but it makes the story less fun if Harry can beat anyone by the end of Year 1.
2. Harry's age
Harry, at the start of the story, is an 11 year old kid. Now, this is a problem that a LOT of stories have with kids as their main characters, but they tend to write them as adults. In Reinforced you're trying to get around that by making him seem more mature because of his history of abuse and his connection with Rein. I could accept that, but you also used the cheat known as "Occlumency", which is honestly my biggest issue with the story. Not to mention that you also overpowered it by bringing in the Thought Acceleration and Memory Partition of Atlas. Quite frankly, none of it is something that a little kid should be able to learn within a year, even with help. Honestly, because you keep abusing that skill you'll end up with another Harry who'll leave Hogwarts after 2 years, because there's nothing he'll be able to learn. Hell, he apparently read a library of 5000 books on dark magic within a day. Where do you want to go at this point? Which leads me to point #3.
3. The direction/focus of the story
I get the feeling that while writing your story you think of a cool gimmick and then implement it. While it can be fun to do, it can also cause quite a few problems. A prime example would be the whole "Astral" theme you've put in. Is it a neat idea? Without doubt. Should it be in this story? In my opinion, no. Because you already have the magic systems of both MGLN and HP you've got more than enough things to play with. Adding in a completely new system in the middle? It causes you to lose focus of those two already existing ones. Not to mention that it also leads back to point #1, the power creep. Harry now has a power that neither the HP people nor the MGLN people have and it leads to ridiculous events like him being able to steal the Elder Wand from Dumbledore, who has defended said Wand for over 50 years, most likely by adding a shitton of wards and enchantments to prevent it from simply being stolen.
I'm not sure if you're doing it, but it might be worth to write a storyboard to follow, to structure your story and know how you want it to end. If you're already doing it, feel free to ignore this.
4. The Harem
Overall, this is probably more of a minor issue and I should probably call it character interactions instead. One of the major problems I've noticed in stories that add a "mentor" character for Harry pre-Hogwarts is that they keep said mentor around as the main interaction for Harry. They then also tend to add in more OC characters, resulting in Harry having a cast of characters to interact with that have nothing to do with the already existing cast of the original stories and they end up having an anti-social Harry who doesn't care about what's going on outside his circle.
That is not necessarily a bad thing, mind. But it's still something that should be mentioned, since the original HP is very much a character driven story. Without those interactions between the characters a lot of the first 4 books just wouldn't happen.
And having most of the characters being attractive females wanting to get into the pants of a 11 year old kid is pretty weird, though I can live with that. :P
I think those are the major issues I have. Of course, it's not all complaints. I do like your stories quite a lot (as evidenced by me even bothering to write this). I love the way you managed to merge the Nanoha and HP magic systems. Especially considering the whole "mountain-erasing bombardment" that happens in Nanoha. I also love the backstory of the Potters, that is a very interesting take on it and I even like the characters of them! Well, besides James, but he's basically destined to be a dick, so who cares. I think the backstory does suffer a bit because of the focus point, it's slowly getting sidetracked by all the other stuff happening. I think that's one of the reasons that each HP book focused strictly on one thing. Though to be fair, you've managed to keep a pretty good grip on things so far, it's just the last couple of chapters with the Astral Realm that went a bit too far.
Well, enough rambling for now. Let me close by saying thanks for writing the story, I've been really enjoying it and will finish it.
P.S. You've got any place for throwing plot bunnies at you? 'coz I've got one and I'm really not a writer, so it's been kicking me to find a home.
| TricMagic chapter 22 . 11/20/2017
Hope this story gets started up again. Good read.
| BraveWolf13 chapter 22 . 11/17/2017