Oh man...this is friggin hysterical so far! The only Tom/Hermione I've read are your dabbles so this is my first actual story. I never would have thought to enjoy anything like it but am giving it a shot and it's so damn funny already!

I laughed so much. You're the best.

This story was hilarious and amoral and utterly, beautifully absurd (the Dark Lord as cockblocked bird boy?). I think what I love most about your corpus of work as a whole is that you can write stories that are dark and dirty and have fun with evil like this one and Pygmalion and yet beautiful stories like No Greater Love and The History Project show that you really DO get that evil isn't a joke.

Show tunes, clown fetishes, fruit foreplay and the Big Book of World Domination? This story is absurdly brilliant! I could not stop laughing at the banter. Thank you for creating such a treat.

When I try to explain fanfiction to people, and want them to see it as clever, this is the story I use.

FINALLY

OH JUST LET THEM FUCK ALREADY

I read this everytime I'm stressed or having a bad day and my god, it always works to put me in a better place.

Thank you.

'What are the core competencies of each of your minions?'
You continue to Exceed my Expectations.

This was way too funny. I loved every second of it!

Awesome story, thank you for sharing

HE HAS FEATHER MITES! This story was one of my favorites, really helping in the stressful time of my (cursed/loving) family.

Tom staring at himself hissing in the mirror is by far one of the best images I’ve had all day.

I like this dark comedy. It’s like “we kill people!” and also, “he molts and she’s addicted to fruit and we desperately want to BANG but we can’t.”

When you wrote that he had a blackberry between his teeth, for a moment, I thought you meant the phone not the fruit

Falling slowly in love with this Veela Tom and dubiously moraled Hermione