Reviews for Deal with a Devil
Dark-Prince-of-Clowns chapter 20 . 5/17
WHY hasn't she whittled away his morals?! _

It's the FIRST thing she'd want to do, because everything else would be easyer with it.

I managed to turn a devote islamic girl into a Luciferian/Satanist in a little less than a year, Lash had FAR more time and a FAR easyer mind to manipulate!

Not to mention skills and experience far beyond anything I could hope to obtain.

So WHY hasn't she?! _
Dark-Prince-of-Clowns chapter 12 . 5/17
Look up the word Quixotic, and you have dumbledore.
And that's his biggest flaw.

He does what he believes is best for the greater good. And if that means to sacrifice one child for the safety of hundreds, he will do it.

He will be pained by doing so, and feel guilty, however. Especially as he has to sacrifice the child's chance of a happy childhood to... in part keep Harry safe, and in part (tho he refuse to conciously acknowledge this) to make the child easy to mold, because an abused child latches on to any and all friendlyness with blind devotion. (It was NOT an accident he sent his biggest, friendliest, fan to fetch Harry.)

So to make up for all the shit he does to Harry, he attempts to allow him whatever happiness he can gain from being ignorant.

Of course... that does far more damage than good, but dumbledore doesn't see that.

He is difficult to write because he has two big Goals waging war against eachother, making him bounce back and forth between attempts to make up for his own cruelty, yet forced to be cruel.

More than anything else, dumbledore is driven by two things; Guilt, and the need to correct his previous mistakes. (Grindelwald, His sister, Tom, Harry)

He also tend to think that he knows best, simply because he's experienced so much and made so many mistakes. And because the rest of the british wizarding world says he is wise.

Write him as a tragic marty-hero with a god-complex, driven by guilt and the need to save the world, via manipulations, and you'll be about right.

Hopefully that helped. _

On another note; 1 Galleon 5 Pounds. And Hogwarts is paied for by the Ministry of Magic. As JK Rowling said/tweeted. Details on Potterwiki.

And if you have only watched the tv show, I recomend reading the book Small Favors. You see how Lasciel operates and manipulates very well in that book. (Could be White...knight/night.. but I think it was Small Favors.)

Keep writing! _
Dark-Prince-of-Clowns chapter 8 . 5/17
I love the story, truly ... but I wish Lash was a bit more like she was in the books.

I mean... Arguing with her Host? Really?!

She didn't even argue with Dresden, but used his heriic notions to push him towards sinning -even IF he managed to get a hold of himself before going TOO far. If only just.

And that was DESPITE Dresden being paranoid about every word she spoke and everything she did.

A child would fall to her darkness within weeks. Chances are he'd end up like...ah... Nostredamus, was it?

Perfectly happy doing his master's bidding as he fully believes everything is his own choice.

My point is:

Read Dark Psychology 101, Dark Psychology 202, The Art of the Con and The Confidence Game (all found on Audible as well as Kindle).

Your story is good, and your writing is good, but you are not very skilled in manipulating people, which shows.

That said, keep writing. I DO love the story non the less. _
ZeaDragon chapter 4 . 5/15
Awww. I actually really like the Nevernever stuff and the fey courts, I hope it'll be a thing down the line.
Revliledpembroke chapter 11 . 4/28
This is not Harry Potter. It just isn't. It would make more sense if Harry Dresden got shoved into Harry Potter's body.

Also, do you take the word and advice of somebody who has over 1000 years of experience making foci in this universe or the word and advice of someone who recently admitted SHE HAS NO FUCKING IDEA HOW MAGIC WORKS HERE! Because it seems like a pretty easy solution to me! Sorry Lash, your shit had to go, I have to use my holly wand!

And, just for your information, maybe don't shit all over the Harry Potter universe in a Harry Potter crossover? Everything they do is dumb so far, it seems. There are people who actually like this universe, you know. Exactly as it is.
Revliledpembroke chapter 10 . 4/28

Harry rolled his eyes. Maybe if she had come by earlier or made the school more accessible—
That had become Lash's mantra over the past year, particularly when one of her experiments either failed or did something unexpected. And it was a good philosophy, he knew that, but wallowing in his aggravation was much more enjoyable than acknowledging that the rest of the world could not care less about what he thought of things."

And infinitely preferable to facing Diagon Alley again"

That's the vocabulary of the 11 year old? He worries about robes being hygienic? Uses accessible, mantra, philosophy, wallowing, aggravation, acknowledging, infinitely preferable?

The way this particular narration works, it feels like we're in Harry's head, hearing these thoughts, listening to his personal narration. And very few 11 year olds are going to use one of the words you just did, let alone ALL of them. That's full sdult.

Come on man, we get it, you have quite the extensive vocabulary. But, for fuck's sake, the 11 year old wouldn't. And that's giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you just used your own vocabulary and forgot to dumb it down for the 11 year old. Because the other option is you getting off from using the largest words you could find.

Also your question about brother wands was not a good one. Mostly because it's not really relevant and it's getting super nitpicky. Maybe brother wands aren't rare, and it's only notable because who Harry's wand's brother belonged to. If his brother wands belong to... Regulus Black, it wouldn't have been relevant.

Also, you said dragon heart and not dragon heartstring. Presumably, each individual dragon heartstring goes into a different wand, making brother wands impossible. Their shared origin does not matter, as dragons are not exactly known for being sentimental.

It's also possible that it doesn't happen a whole lot because it's not very often the same retail gets brother wands pairs sold to them. Or they don't keep them. Maybe they trade them to other wandmakers for wands with rarer ingredients. A wand with unicorn hair gets sent to Africa for a wand with some rare African animal bits.

There are so many potential answers, it seems like an odd thing to focus on.
Revliledpembroke chapter 9 . 4/28
Harry really does not sounds like a kid. He sounds like he's - at the very least - a teenager.

I get that some of this is Lash, but I see no reason Lash wouldn't, at the very least, encourage him to hang out with other people like he is - especially those that are his age.
Revliledpembroke chapter 7 . 4/28
I mean, barring work with magic objects (like potions), pretty much all HP magic requires wands. Minus, like, the Animagus form.
Revliledpembroke chapter 4 . 4/25
Uh... why is it a problem for Fleur to say she's a quarter Veela? Surely she knows her own heritage, right? She's 17, not a toddler. Presumably, she says she's a quarter Veela because her father's like is mostly wizards.

Also, no full blooded males of a species is a thing going back to nymphs. It's not exactly unique to Veela. So I fail to see the problem.

Jumping topics, uh, clearly Harry Dresden does have the "right" to use Soulfire. Given, you know, that he can freakin' access it in the first place! You can't "accidentally" get Soulfire, it has to be directly gifted by God or an angel. And I'm pretty sure they would only give it to someone if it was "right" for them to use it. And they'd know, because, well, God.

I also think you're really overthinking the whole "wizards have to believe in what they're doing" thing. Because it's really just a statement saying that you can't murder someone with magic, or completely alter their mind so they will sleep with you, without believing that to be a morally correct choice. And if you do that, you're likely already evil anyway.
Freddie Rindklip chapter 32 . 4/20
Darker than most I have read. Still a good read.
itllbeamiracleififinishastory chapter 1 . 4/18
I'm up to Ch. 8. Excellent thus far! Really enjoying it. I like that the Dresden elements and Christian fantasy are kept light. I really like this version of Potter too
Eragon135790 chapter 21 . 3/19
really hope that harry looses those useless morals soon, lash should have long made him loose them
Eragon135790 chapter 18 . 3/19
im really happy harry didnt become friends with hermione, hope it will szay zjaz way.
Eragon135790 chapter 12 . 3/19
oh, good, i would have ahted to have harry in griffindor, while he is brash he isnt overtly so anymore and probably will be even less so in the future, hope we will get to see him interacting with the dwarfs again in the future, with silver(and therefoer probably glod as well) having no meaning to them but food having he could benefit quite a bit.
Eragon135790 chapter 10 . 3/19
like the ff so far, hope harry wont stay at hogwarts for long and definitely dont want him close to ron or hermione.
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