Reviews for Heart and Flesh
TimeKeeper6984 chapter 4 . 5/4/2019
Interesting. Please write more.
Matthew Gemm chapter 4 . 8/4/2016
Awesome man. Will Shepard eventually get a hand at the native language.
TheREALMightyKamina chapter 4 . 8/5/2016
I'm assuming that this is occurring either just before or immediately after Aang woke up from his ice-nap, but I have one EXTREMELY important question: is Shepard going to be learning the language the hard way, or will her Omni-tool pick up enough bits and pieces to assemble a translation function a là Star Trek universal translators. Additionally, since ME never covered it's power source, is the Omni-tool powered by Shepard's metabolic processes, or by an external power source? If the former, great for Shepard if that's how she ends up communicating If the latter, then it might pay off to learn to speak Bender-ese.
aRabidHobo chapter 4 . 8/5/2016
I'll follow this and hope it continues. As somebody that mostly just observes fandoms from a comfortable distance, I can appreciate the author's profile talking about giving back to it. There's not really enough in this story to really review, but what is here has potential. A year and some change to get to four chapters is a long time, but at least it is clean enough in the technical department; no spelling or grammar that distracts me from reading.

Some characterization is given for this version of Shepard, which is essential for any story with the semi-OC that comes from such games as Mass Effect. I wouldn't mind some more examples of how renegade or paragon she is, but that can come with more concrete character interaction; the current pacing of characterization and backstory filling works well. It would work better if there was more to read than 6000 words; it still feels like a prologue/introduction more than anything else with another few thousand words before the story actually starts.

I won't say the author should update regularly now when this is the only story on the year old account, but more story or more explanation for the delays (either on profile or ANs or even PMs) would be nice. I'm curious about the reasoning behind the relatively slow pace; I found this story today under recently updated, so I'm glad the "recent update" isn't just an author's note saying goodbye. Still, like I said at the beginning, I can appreciate the idea of an amateur simply giving back to the community like this.

I'm also curious how the language barrier plays out; will the next few chapters have a time skip to gloss over the learning process (not necessarily a bad thing; drawn out backstory can get boring)? Is the language actual Japanese (guessing based on Google Translate's auto detect) or just based on it for the convenience of writing? I'm not a linguist and I wouldn't enjoy fanfiction like I do if I was a purist, but I like to know about the little easter-eggs and trivia that can be found in details like that.
A Markov chapter 4 . 8/4/2016
hey! look at you being all 'not dead' and stuff. One request, if you're only going to give us one chapter a year, could you make it a little longer?


Quintain Apprentince of Alduin chapter 4 . 8/3/2016
So you have returned to the Mortal Realm. Interesting.

I had a thought recently. Would it be possible to bend time? Within the A :TLA a series alone, I think I've pretty much seen every thing else be bended.
Warden of Lore chapter 4 . 8/3/2016
You came back!
blackops warfare chapter 1 . 2/2/2016
Warden of Lore chapter 3 . 1/26/2016
are you ever gonna continue
Serenarey Chiba chapter 3 . 10/31/2015
Hoh! This has potential! I'm looking forward to whatever may come!
Warden of Lore chapter 3 . 10/15/2015
more please
Advena Phillips chapter 3 . 10/14/2015
This needs to be updated... I need to know what happens next. keep up the good work.
hiddenhibernian chapter 3 . 8/2/2015
Hi there, I'm from the WA review game and fandom-blind here, so I suspect I'm missing some of the implications of the spirit's arrival.

It's clear that it's an important chapter in your story, and the raging storm works well to highlight that. The description in the second paragraph gives me a very vivid picture of the intensity of it, and the way you're making the reader experience the storm through Suki's eyes draws me in instantly.

Sometimes the narrative in the beginning feels a little repetitive; the paragraphs are quite short and about the same length, and there are a few instances of the same, fairly unusual word being used in short succession ('A fact' and 'The fact' in the second paragraph, and later on “The sky seemed to contract and distort” and “The stars... contracting tightly”).

You tell us quite a bit about Suki's character by her approach to restoring the shrine; it's hard to know if she is justified in her contempt of her fellow villagers, or if she's just a tad arrogant.

The gradual reveal of the strangeness of the woman appearing works well to keep the reader engaged, and it's also a realistic reflection of Suki struggling to navigate the storm. It certainly makes sense that Suki was struggling to grab the spirit, if she actually doesn't have a bodily form.

I enjoyed the last line, and the suggestion that the course of events is becoming a little too much even for Suki, who comes across as capable and quite unflappable (as evidenced by her impulse to save the stranger appearing on the shore).


Should either be capital or period here: “explosive energy, Ruthless.”

What's happening? [s]he thought

Focus[,] Suki!

“One moment a massive storm threatened her existence, the next complete and utter considered, for a brief moment, about running home to her village” - I was a little confused here, is there a word missing in the middle of the sentence?
Quintain Apprentince of Alduin chapter 3 . 7/31/2015
Is the woman Shep, or is she another human Biotic? I haven't read this in a while so I could be forgetting something. Also, "The Forces of the Universe bend to me!" (I just made a pun!)
TheNoWhereMan chapter 3 . 7/29/2015
Yay, I am glad you are still working on this story. It is fun to read.
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