Reviews for Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Rebirth
ZiraDakota chapter 31 . 10/27/2022
Virgo's failed wooing of the Servine had me laughing. Poor guy just can't catch a break, huh? ;) Also quite reckless on his part trying to woo a fellow Praetorian. He's so desperate. :)

Finding out that Gaius is Teutonii himself was quite a shock. I wasn't expecting that. After reading this chapter, I feel just awful for Gaius after enduring so much tragedy and hardship. I liked his interactions with both the Hydreigon and with Flame, and for Flame, it must've felt like the tables had turned. The power dynamic between the two characters has shifted.
ZiraDakota chapter 30 . 10/23/2022
After reading the last chapter, I was eager to see how Flame would handle the situation with Gaius.

Despite how much of a jerk that Gaius has been, it's hard not to feel sorry for him in this chapter. Such a traumatic past can really screw up anyone, especially when one turns to alcohol to help them cope as Gaius has. He's a broken soul, and I wonder if he can find peace.

Speaking of peace, I loved the part in the final scene where Alice and Brynn laugh together. As Daedalus noted, perhaps there is still hope that the Teutonii and the citizens of the empire can peacefully coexist.

This chapter answers a lot of questions in regards to the portal storms, the war, and the Presence. It's a great chapter overall, and I look forward to reading the next one.
ZiraDakota chapter 29 . 10/16/2022
This was an excellent chapter to read after being away from the story for far too long.

I can really relate to Flame in this chapter. Flame's guilt over being allowed to stay in a house that others had vacated just for him is exactly how I'd react. Same in regards to the crowd in the city.

It's great to see that Flame and Alice were able to reconcile. It'd break my heart to see those two torn apart. I'm looking forward to seeing if he can do the same with Gaius.
InkyDewott502 chapter 1 . 8/12/2022
Hello Shadow! I am here from United for V-Wheel and going to talk about your fanfiction: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Rebirth’s first chapter. This was an exciting journey, to say the least.

From what I've read so far there is a conflict involving what Pokemon working in Aesernia called Scum. These Scum were sighted near Spearhead Mountain Range, previously rumored to make it to the Wastelands. They are hinted to be involved in whatever sent our main protagonist into the area and gave him amnesia. Details on this information are very sparse. This can make establishing a connection difficult, but inspire readers to continue to the next chapter.

POVs
The first area starts with two Pokemon, from a 3rd Person limited perspective on the Groyvle rather than the Dragonair. A glimpse of their goal and personalities can be found. They banter for a moment before we are taken away from them for the majority of the chapter. It’s interesting that the section we spend with the new main pov is one of him nearly freezing to death. This state, the lack of situational awareness, the drifting of consciousness, and the fear allow for a dangerous atmospheric approach to the classic wake-up scene. Flame’s thoughts on each bit of information he receives from Alice and Gaius as well as the environment are great touches.

Pacing
I’d say the beginning section has quick pacing that works well to drive the tension of each reveal and each event as it happens. Once for the urgent flow of the conversation between Gaius and Alice. Then for their responses to the impact of the Meteorite-like object that befalls that mountain. Then things slow down and can start to blend a tad bit together, as we have Flame process every new feeling in his body. We then have to see his fight for life in a truly real way. The slow agonizing process of hypothermia that the Charmeleon endures and nearly slips under. Then the waves of confusion and relief when a new status quo is established after Alice saves him. The latter chunk of the chapter had a nice ratio of conversations, thoughts, and descriptions to go steady into the end. Tension built up well, not too fast, not too slow.

Thoughts on Characters
At first blush, I’m not really attached to or fond of any of the characters, unfortunately. Alice and Flame feel a bit too bland in comparison to Gaius. Gaius being a brooding, grump would be a bit more fun if the other two or another character balanced him out. Flame did show some hastiness, while Alice had a moment of being not so above it all.

Closing Thoughts
But this was only the first chapter, the mystery as to what the Teams are searching for and what they want with Flame is an exciting enough prospect to continue onward and dive into the massive world.
Idk chapter 31 . 8/4/2022
Still waiting
Magykool chapter 31 . 6/23/2022
After picking up where I left off last, Flame was with Daedalus and the Teutonii now. He was slowly getting used to living with them. He enjoyed it, it was blissful! It was...

Without Alice and Gaius.

Honestly, I see where Flame was coming from, he misses his companions (choosing not to use friends here) because they were there with him since he 'woke up' just a few months ago. Of course he's attached.

But he would have been much better off just letting them go. He was about to go to a new home, away from all the bullshit, and all he had to do was not feel guilty about his ex companions. Unfortunately that wasn't the case. Brynn was literally uprooting her life for Flame and this magic cause he can't even remember, yet was being treated like family and he chose some companions who have done very little for him in return.

I get they shared near-death experiences and they lived together but he didn't even *like* Gaius. And Alice has been lying to him the whole time (not that he knows yet), he doesn't even *know* these people and he plans to sacrifice his life for these strangers. Honestly he's an idiot for planning to leave. But also friendship I guess.

And then, of course we have the showdown between Sycorax and his forces, Daedalus and his, and Flame and his companions right before Flame's chance of freedom from this madness. The situation was tough- if Flame refused Sycorax would blast Daedalus and the Teutonii, and they'd strike back if Flame went with Sycorax or they were attacked. His companions died if he refused Sycorax and he'd die if he went with Sycorax. Honestly it was pretty bold of Flame to just jump off like that- and Alice and Gaius followed! It was actually real nice to see them all together again, and it really was heartwarming that for once they were happy and laughing and free... and in that moment I hoped they'd all get a happy ending... but I know Shadow and the way this fic has been going, that obviously doesn't last well.

Seeing them travel together and have hope was at least enough to have me be happy for them, but I was forever anxious because I *knew* the bullsh!t was coming.

So behold my very little shock (I think I actually heard 'FINALLY' reverberate in my mind here) when Alice is *finally* recognised by someone completely as one of Emperor Adrian's daughters instead of just a passing "Have I seen you before?" honestly I'm glad it sucker punched them when the trio finally thought they were free. That couldn't go unresolved before they had peace and it felt good that Flame got mad. He deserved to get mad. He uprooted his life AGAIN for them (planned to escape the army for them, and now ditched Daedalus for them) only to have it all blow up in his face (he kinda deserved it for planning to bail on Brynn and Daedalus after all they'd done for him) and this time the circumstances were out of his control. Alice gave herself away and instead of being welcomed or revered for being this long-lost princess, all there is is contempt and I *love it.*

Immediately after the revelation is finally dropped in the best-worst way possible, Flame is *pissed* and rightfully so. These people he'd gone out of the way to help and protect and save had just ruin this plan he'd busied himself with pulling off for a week or two (including the 5 days it took them to get to Thermae Himerae) only to have it be fucked up by the identity of Alice, which he'd asked about just days before, she'd *lied* about and then have it be revealed in the worst way. If she'd told him, they could have planned around it, come up with a plan, do *something* but it's all derailed because she couldn't speak up. Now his friends wanted to cross back through the mountains they'd just come from which are more than likely winter-covered by now- certain death. Gaius already refused to see the Teutonii as good people and Alice couldn't believe Flame, she'd been led to believe they were Scum her whole life. He couldn't just plead with them to join him, they'd say no, so of course he had to force his hand, and then they turned on him. Yes, they had their reasons, but I'm with Flame, Alice had just ruined their chances of a safe haven and Gaius wouldn't even consider Flame's suggestion. Freaking frustrating. At least they considered in the end?

So now things are finally starting to get peaceful in Tromvik, some sh!t needs to happen, right? Flame has to reconcile with Alice and Gaius, because he's a good boy with a good heart and honestly they don't freaking deserve him at this point. Does that make me heartless? No. I still felt the conversation between Flame and Alice. I felt bittersweet. They finally talked it out, things look like they're going to go right for once... but it's gonna take a while for their friendship to heal, I mean, why wouldn't it? And poor Brynn gets ignored because Flame's too busy simping for a noodle. Brynn x Flame is already better lmao.

Heartspeak/Soulspeak is honestly a pretty impressive gimmick to break that language barrier, and I love that it was an ability for only a handful. It's a translation solution, but not everyone has it so I thought that was really interesting! Honestly if I plan to use different languages I might do something similar!

And Gaius... how I love hating you. You drunken mess, you deserve none of the kindness Flame has given you, and yet even in your drunken stupor you can finally realise how much of an ass you've been this whole time. Definitely felt good to see Flame really tell him off this time around, and honestly I don't really care if he redeems himself at this point unless he becomes loyal af and a best friend. He's just baggage that Flame's been forced to carry around and I'm glad Flame isn't really all that attached to him as a friend. Wonder what'll happen to him now.

Really interesting plot! I think I'll stick around for this dumpster fire of a war. I wonder what exactly Flame's role is in all of this, and why Sycorax is so determined to grab him right now. Stupid Gaius and his loreblocking.

Keep up the good work~
Guest chapter 31 . 6/4/2022
Sooooo what's next?
ShadowVulpi chapter 31 . 3/3/2022
V-Wheel time.

Alright so it looks like we've gone back to Virgo and Yvaine for a little bit of this chapter. I'll admit, the introduction was a bit jarring to me. For the past few chapters, things have been somewhat serious and heartfelt with Flame and company finally talking to each other and making steps toward being an amicable team as opposed to just barely tolerating each other and outright hating each other silently. I mean yes, I get it was to establish how bored Virgo is and what's been going on with the one side of the war since Flame left them chapters back, but the mood is a bit questionable with the bulk of the chapter just being Virgo complaining about how he can't get laid where he is and his repugnant attempts at flirting with a Servine (and making not so subtle references to certain dragon anatomy). At least he got what was coming to him from the Servine. Really the only part of that interaction I liked was when Yvaine finally came into the picture and they expressed their thoughts on Flame and how Yvaine described Flame's mind as "otherworldly", further cementing that Flame isn't from this world like Daedalus had previous stated.

As for the bulk of this chapter with Gaius, gotta say, I liked it a lot. Especially the part where Flame beat the shit out of Gaius for being trash the whole chapter and calling him out on it. It felt cathartic watching Flame stop being such a coward and revering the roles, Gaius being the weak one and Flame being the stronger one. This stronger Flame that's been present for the last few chapters feels like a better character in that he clearly still has weakness, but he's not spineless anymore. He can call out people's bullshit and find good solutions, even in the heat of the moment. That was the case here with him not wanting Gaius to kill himself. I can see how it would be really easy to just give into temptation and let Gaius just go off and die, but it takes a better person to stop that from happening. I imagine from here on out the relationship between Gaius and Flame will still be rocky and abrasive since what happened in the past can't be changed, but at least it can start being mended and Gaius can grow into a better character. Hopefully one that isn't drinking at least five bottles a day.

And now the last part with Sycorax. I'm not terribly sure what's going on here actually. Is the traitor that he's talking about supposed to be Daedalus? As in Daedalus wasn't always with the enemy lines? If so, that's honestly really surprising. It would explain how he's able to talk to everyone despite the language barrier, but then it raises more questions as to why he left to go join the Teutonii. Or maybe I'm wrong and the "traitor" is someone else that I've overlooked entirely. Guess I'll find out when you update some more.

Either way, good stuff so far in this chapter, besides the beginning Virgo bit. It just comes across as tasteless to me, but I'm also the one to frown at a lot of sexual content in stories for various reasons.
TropicalCyclone chapter 25 . 2/19/2022
"Only a distant Kricketune's buzz answered him."

i could only imagine this with kricketune going "DEELEELEELEE WOOOOOOOOP"
"
Kranos459 chapter 31 . 2/14/2022
I was waiting for this for too long, but I'm glad it's here. Great chapter as always.

It's sobering that, when Gaius had reached his limit, he broke down instead of attacking Hydreigon. It shows just how much pain he was in. There's also the fact that Flame gave him the tough love approach. I'm not sure if Flame really hates him or not. Regardless, he's not letting Gaius throw his life away. I admire him for that.

Once again, you impress me. You've told me many times that this is your first fanfiction and that you've never studied English writing extensively. And yet, you produce such stunning results.

As always, I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.
Eonn chapter 31 . 2/14/2022
Good to see another chapter in this story, it's one of the ones that I'm always looking forward to reading more of.

Looks like we get a bit more out of Gaius' background, and it's certainly an interesting twist.

I guess Virgo and Yvaine are still relevant too. I had thought that their role was mostly done, but now I'm wondering if they could end up as potential allies of the main group.
FroggerBerbus chapter 7 . 12/16/2021
First things first, I’m liking the plot beats so far. The deal with the portal storms and Flame’s connection to it is building up nicely. It’s a good long term thread and has me interested in how any antagonists in the future plan around it. The world gradually expands and I’m beginning to see how the smaller scale conflicts will fit into a larger puzzle in the future, I’m all for that kind of buildup! While right now the story is focused on chasing lower level mooks, the bits of the world we’ve seen already gleam some insight into their potential motivations and does keep the reader interested in what’s usually the “early filler” portion of similar stories. What you’ve done is a great way to circumvent that. The bar scene in the ruined village in particular hammered in what I’m expecting to be a theme that develops through the story, and it was only reinforced by the Emperor’s speech the next chapter. That plot hook has me quite invested.

Anyway, time to talk characters. The Emperor is a Dragonite eh? Yeah I see where you’re going with this. Simple idea on paper but lots of room on how it would be handled in practice. A Genesect as his general though? That’s definitely unique and damn, I actually really want to see what you do with that. As for the main duo, I can’t say my opinion has shifted on Flame and Alice yet, though that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Gaius is a bit more of a douche than I expected but I’m looking forward to his patented brand of character development. Ariel, well, if she doesn’t end up an antagonist I’ll be very surprised because I’m finding it difficult to turn her likeable without painting her as one. Now for the legionnaire duo; Yvaine I’m neutral on but damn I love Virgo already. His fun attitude and level of openness is something I feel the story was beginning to need and he came at the perfect time. Lord, his introduction was perfect. I’d take a mag from him, I’m being serious!

I’m really liking the seeds you’ve planted so far, keep at it!
The Silver Espeon chapter 30 . 12/5/2021
I am so happy to see this story getting more updates! Thank you!
Killswitch123 chapter 30 . 12/1/2021
Another great chapter! I initially thought there was gonna be a mini stand off between brynn and Alice, but I’m glad it didn’t go that route flames seen enough turmoil to last a life time lmao
Eonn chapter 30 . 12/1/2021
Chapter XXX: the sexiest chapter P
Jokes aside, glad to see another chapter for this story. It's nice that the characters have gotten a bit of a break from strife, I've read more than a few stories where the plot never really gets a chance to breathe. I'm still looking forward to seeing the rest of the story play out, though.
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