Reviews for Legend of Bardock
narakunohime chapter 28 . 12/4/2017
continue please?
Thompson chapter 6 . 9/4/2017
Make More
Hugodrax chapter 28 . 4/14/2017
Hey hey, it came back! Well, nice to see you again man, like I said I would like to check out your newest story too, but I've been so busy with the other stories I've been reading, my own writing, also work, that it's amazing I'm getting certain things back on track. But more importantly to the story. I liked how you started it off with Bardock, Raditz, and Babidi. It made for one hint of tension but just as well, it was a great game of oneupsmanship between Babidi, and Bardock, just both trying to find out about each other. It was just funny seeing how Raditz, had to play the middleman for their whole conversation. But, with small information given to both, the location of Turles, and Bardock, revealing in a small dose that he's a psychic, both parties got what they want. But, you up the anty once again when you had Raditz, and Bardock, take some scanners from the mole sorcerer, which with the implanting of that Red X...it makes me think did Babidi, mark them with the Majin symbol; or is this something worse? When we went back to Earth, I liked how we dived right into Tabaga, and Pota's adventure to Baba's. Loved how you kept Baba's special Zeni, payment joke in there, classic! But, I was shocked to see Baba, helping the two, but you made it come at a special price, both young Saiyans, would have to compete for information. The opponents you chose were just awesome! The Ginyu Force! I thought the icing on the cake was how much happier the Ginyu Force were in death than in life just because they didn't have to work for Frieza. That was just awesome! Even though the rest of the Ginyu Force were confused I liked how Pota, and Jeice, chatted it up about the current events it was sweet, not to mention a great moment for me because I'm a Jeice fan, so awesome to see Jeice again! When we got to the battle of Cooler's Armored Squadron, it was just an awesome battle, because I liked how Raditz, and Bardock, got to act just a little arrogant, in the fight because they pretty much dominated the squadron easily, so great squash action! Loved the fight by the way between Guldo, and Tabaga. Guldo, actually proved to be a good challenge, I liked how he kept taking pot shots at Tabaga, and evading his attacks using his Freezing Time technique. The uniqueness came of this when Tabaga, used multiple ki blasts directed at Guldo, to bring him down since the little green man, couldn't stop them all. Once Guldo, was down I liked how you had next to come into the fray...Recoome! Going to Gine, and Cecilia, was a nice moment, I enjoyed how Cecilia, wanted to dishes! It was better than doing nothing at all. It was such a great moment! However that all changed when Babidi, using the zombie Saiyan's Tora's crew, to kill Bardock's family, I knew it was going to get hairy. Maine, showing up gave them a good chance, but both the female Saiyans knew that they weren't going to hold off the onslaught for too long. So, when Cecilia, went to go use the Dragon Balls, that Bardock, collected I knew it was a great moment...because Kakarot, and Cressa, are coming back! When Raditz, and Bardock, confronted Cooler, it was just a tense moment, the one big one being how Cooler, knew how the Saiyans escaped to Earth. I'm betting Babidi, let that information slip. Either way, it seemed the battle was on, when men with guns, came out and fired these special collars, I knew it wasn't going to be good. Sadly, Raditz, got snared, and it was interesting how the collar drained his ki, knocking him unconscious, so now it makes sense how Turles, was captured. Bardock, I loved how he blasted the remainder of Cooler's men before he faced off against the other tyrant. You made the battle between both these titans a hard hitting affair. The fact that Bardock, had to use such a high level of Kaioken, was nuts just to bring Cooler, down. But, that wasn't enough, and now Cooler, seems to be in his ultimate form, and Bardock, may have to show the Super Saiyan power? Or does he have another trick up his sleeve? Great way to keep the tension for the next battle. Near the ending part of the story, I liked how Cecilia, had found the Dragon Balls, and began to make the wish to bring Cressa, and Kakarot, back. I know she had to wish everyone killed in the last two years back, but this also means that Master Roshi, is back too, yay! Also, Kakarot, and Cressa, are on their way, which is what I am looking forward to now. Also, I loved how both Kakarot, and Cressa, couldn't use Instant Transmission, because they hadn't mastered the technique yet. I thought that was a great nod to Goku, from Dragon Ball GT. So now both Kakarot, and Cressa, are on Snake Way, heading back to Earth. Also, on the side note, I don't like how King Vegeta, saw the power of the Dragon Balls, I don't like how he seems like now he's going to use the Dragon Balls, as a tool against Bardock. The ending was shocking, Maine, and Gine, were beaten down by the Tora Zombie Crew about to get killed, suddenly when Vegeta, came out of nowhere I was shocked. He blasted them all, before Gine, and Maine, could be killed. Could he have shown for something more, or could he just be there for the strong fight? My money's on the strong fight answer...but with this story you never know! Great chapter man, and all around I look forward to the next one!
ShatteredRose23 chapter 5 . 4/6/2017
You came in my inbox saying I should read more than the first chapter before making a opinion about your story and accusing you of copying. Well what about 5? All the things you have written have been copoed straight from Veema's story even small and minor details that you could've simply change but was too lazy to. This is embarrassing. There's a difference between taking inspiration and completely ripping someone off. Learn the difference pal.
ShatteredRose23 chapter 2 . 4/4/2017
this just seems like a weaker and watered down version of Dragonball Legends by Veema. Even the prologue of the first chapter was exactly similar to hers.

Veema's:
"All the world ended in a flash, a flash of the world that never truly began. Had the world been created at all? Was all he had seen inevitable? Or was all he had seen a dream he had yet to make dormant in his mind?

He had seen himself try to change the future. It was impossible. Wasn't it? He had already seen his planet blasted into oblivion by a lying psychopathic traitor. He tried to defeat him, but his power was too insignificant. He was weak, far too weak to make a difference.

'I can't change the future.'"

Yours:
"As suddenly as it had appeared, it was gone.

A world that was...maybe it could've been...maybe it never existed.

A Saiyan warrior by the name of Bardock was leaving Planet Kanassa after being given the ability to see the future.

Bardock had seen it all. He had seen his son grow up and have children and grandchildren! It was the curse given to him by the Kanassan.

There's nothing I can do.

It was the first thought Bardock had. He was meant to die fighting against a tyrant by the name of Frieza. Bardock was too weak and ended up being killed along with his entire race."

Not only this you then copy everything after: him going to King Vegeta, going back home to his wife, landing in the forest, going to Dr. Briefs and getting the capsule houses

There's having a idea similar to someone else and then there's completely ripping them off. At least try to be original and unique.
I.C.2014 chapter 15 . 2/24/2017
I was worried that Kakarott wasn't going to meet Chichi. I'm glad that he did.
Keep up the good work.
Hugodrax chapter 27 . 2/14/2017
Wow...you keep a good twist of suspense going here! I'm loving it all! With the chapter starting, with Bardock, and Raditz, on planet Ergy. That I fell in love with right away, because I instantly saw Mos Eisley space port, from Star Wars it was just cool! I was even waiting for Bardock, to say “You will never find a more retched hive of scum and villainy!” lol! It was that cool to me at least! I also loved when they got to the gate of the Ergy city complex, I liked how Bardock, went for the easy approach of knocking the guard out; and then Raditz, used his smarts and used his old power of knowing Frieza, to scare the guard to get them out of the situation! Sorry, another Star Wars joke... “What's your operating number!?” Either way, you just showed some awesome smarts to Raditz. The next bit, was even more shocking with Tabaga, Cecelia, and Pota. What I liked is how Tabaga, and Cecilia, are starting to notice how weird Pota, has been acting weirdly. I just love how you start showing future tension between the three as they argued, but yet they keep maintaining the friendship. It's just interesting to see what Pota, did after he left the other two...He got enveloped in this dark aura, and then planet as you called them seed orbs in the graves of Bardock's former crew?! What is this about? I can only assume that Babidi, is abusing the dead?! But, for what purpose? Because you obviously are bringing zombie Tora, back from the grave! Ewwww... Mostly what I like of this part is just the wicked portrayal of Babidi, I like how you are giving this guy more wicked power than he ever got in cannon! This is a shout out to all fanfiction writers! Why is Babidi, portrayed better here!? So, many forgotten cool bits...(sigh, that's enough ranting for now, sorry you just make Babidi, more awesome!) Back to Ergy, when Raditz, in Bardock, are snooping around, I like how external forces of Planet Trade Organization, know of our favorite Saiyan presence...so it makes me wonder what welcoming party can they expect?! Also, when Bardock, and Raditz, are talking to the refugees and, they go to the mysterious hooded figure; I liked how Raditz, knew something that Bardock, didn't. When he did the unveiling for his father that the figure was indeed Babidi, I liked how shocked Bardock, was. Now, I don't think Babidi, is lying or is working with the PTO; but I know that to tell Raditz, and Bardock, about Turles's capture; it is sure to come with a price. Plus, Turles, was captured by Cooler?! Dang, that sucks! I can't wait to see what has become of him? I'm almost going to say classic brainwashing, but since that does happen a lot, and these stories offer wide possibilities, I will not rest on my laurels. Lol. (Sorry that just seems to be the classic set up when it comes to the Frost Demons). At the end of the story, I liked how Cecilia, Tabaga, and Pota, are going to see Baba. It will sure to be an interesting encounter! What has me concerned is how they also want to wish Master Roshi, back! As cool as that is, the one thing that worries me is if they do that, they have to wait another year to bring back Cressa, and Kakarot, now if that is a plot by Babidi, to keep those two away. Then wow...he thought ahead! To that same point, will Baba, help the young trio given what she knows about Pota? Plus, when Pota, has these dark moments; does he truly not remember or is he lying? Hmmm...the possibilities! I can't wait to see the next chapter, as well as the newsletter keep up the good work man!
Hugodrax chapter 26 . 1/20/2017
Another great chapter, This was something again. Also, I liked the clever use of the Star Trek moniker; The Search for Turles, Search for Spock! Lol. When you started with Pota, and Raditz, I thought it was a nice scene; both brothers reminiscing on things lost, especially Kakarot. It just makes me feel sad for how Pota, blames himself for his brother's death and how he couldn't do much. But, given what you gave us in the last chapter with Babidi, and Pota, how much of this is indeed innocent Pota? But, I did love in the scene Pota's eagerness and happiness training with Raditz, in wanting to become a Super Saiyan! After that when Bardock, went to go looking for Dr. Briefs, to build him a ship to help him find Turles, I knew it was strange when he couldn't find the good doctor anywhere, little did I know when you had Bardock, go see King Vegeta, when King Vegeta, said he hadn't seen any human; it made me think then after the conversation, low and behold, Dr. Brief, a prisoner in King
Vegeta's dungeon. Also, King Vegeta, wanting to destroy Bardock, and his family, this can't be good? Will King Vegeta, succeed, or will Bardock, and or someone in his family find out this new nefarious plot? After Bardock, returned from trying to find Dr. Brief, I liked how he saw the spar of Raditz, and Pota. It was very similar to Gohan, and Goten, so cool. Even though we didn't see Pota, become a Super Saiyan. I liked how Pota, used a new psychic attack it was cool. Also, forgot to mention, when Bardock, was at the palace and he talked with Cecilia, the image made me think? Why are Pota, and Tabaga, fighting? How is Cecilia, hurt? Also, is this Pota, under the influence of the Majin Symbol? This would be interesting to know if Pota, went bad with all his facilities in place. It is so cool how you are also having go with Raditz, to find Turles, and Planet Edgy, cool name! The fact that both Bardock, and Raditz, had to sneak on Space Pods suck, but we know that King Vegeta, wouldn't give them ships to look for Turles. What I didn't expect was Bulma, and Vegeta, taking pictures of the Saiyan warriors for the framing that looks to be taking place. I did enjoy the mini arugment between Bulma, and Vegeta. I must also say, does Bulma, know about her father being in the dungeon? It will be interesting to know which it is and how it will affect the characters involved. Plus, will Gine, and Pota, be okay with Bardock, and Raditz, gone? Also, is Turles, disappearance(and possible capture) done by Lord Slug, and Piccolo, or is this done by King Vegeta, as well?! Either way, awesome plot set up, great questions and scenarios. Looking forward to the next chapter!
blazenite104 chapter 21 . 1/9/2017
the story seems alright, but so much is happening so quickly that I've got no idea what's going on. in fact there are so many people who have been introduced so quickly that when they die I feel absolutely nothing towards them. I just can't bring myself to care.
Hugodrax chapter 25 . 12/28/2016
Wow, man what a chapter here! So, much at once...I liked how you gave both Raditz, and Vegeta, the talk of moral support. What I loved about it most was the difference, you had Bardock, giving all his care, love, and support to Raditz; it's just what I've come to expect from the man, in this story. King Vegeta, however, was different, at the beginning you had him seem like he shared the same concerns as Bardock, but he was more brash, calculating, and harmful; especially when he called his son a disgrace. When we got to the fight at the Saiyan, arena, I loved it. You made it a brawl, and both men went back and forth, Vegeta, for his humilation(apparently) and Raditz, for the honor of himself and his family. In many ways I know the danger that Raditz, showing off Super Saiyan Mode would have caused, as per what Bardock, stated earlier in the chapter, but I loved how Raditz, transformed and sent the Prince of all Saiyans, out of the arena sky high! What has been interesting is how Bulma, has gotten so close to Vegeta, and I think it's odd how she just excepts him, and his culture without a second thought, it is true then that she is probably not ally to Bardock, and or his family. It will be interesting for sure, especially since we see at the end of the chapter that she built Vegeta, and the King that training chamber to achieve Super Saiyan? So, it makes me wonder how all that will go down? The argument between Bardock, and Gine, was something, because I didn't know how bad she was feeling about how Bardock, was tempting with the timeline, and I couldn't believe she brought up the Goku vs. Raditz, fight from cannon. But she is understandably worried, because given all that's happened there still is a danger...The one thing Ginem didn't count on though was Raditz, overhearing; which caused him to take off again and then Bardock, to go after him. I liked the part with Tabaga, Pota, and King Vegeta's daughter Cecelia, I liked how they had the exchange of being fighters, which then led to the three of them fighting and then a good childish laugh. I can sense that these three are going to hopefully have a good relationship with one another. I also loved the talk between Bardock, and Raditz. Raditz, fears still killing his brother, but when you had Bardock, tell his oldest son of his strengths, and how he's progressed, and I would also assume in love as well...I liked it when Raditz, threw himself into his fathers arms, cementing the love for each other? But, what still worries me is can any of these other time eventuality come to pass or is Raditz, and Kakarot, truly free and clear? What if it is Kakarot, this time that actually causes some trouble? I also liked with the fight in the Saiyan, arena, and with Raditz, own request; Bardock's eldest son coerced the King, into giving him an elite status, a lot can happen when people see what you can do. I liked how you had the chapter end, during Raditz, coronation to be an elite; I liked how you had Cecilia, and Tabaga, both ask Pota, about how his foresight abilities were going, when he said nothing had come up yet, I believed him! Little did I know that late at night you had him speaking to Babadi?! I couldn't believe it! This could prove that Pota, is the evil son!? I won't believe till you create more proof in the story but this is huge! Can't wait to see the next newsletter!
EgyLynx chapter 25 . 12/21/2016
Just... lets see? or ?
Sexy Fox girl chapter 11 . 12/16/2016
it looks like having the sayan around actually is a benefit for the earth because now they have powerful protectors thanks to bardock convincing king vegeta the sayan race is actually being redeemed and are actually turning somewhat good
Hugodrax chapter 24 . 12/14/2016
This story, just keeps having a lot of good twists and turns like some many of the others I've read! I really enjoyed this chapter! What I loved starting it off was Bardock, and Raditz, talking over how they should use the Dragon Balls. It was just so interesting how you had Bardock, wondering if he should use the Dragon Balls at all because of the time line area. I could see because of the Saiyan War, the fight with his old team, and King Piccolo, and Lord Slug, why he would be so reserved. But it is still cool how he and Raditz, both agree that they will wish back Kakarot, Cressa, and Master Roshi, at some point. It's just too bad that no one decided to wish back Jeice...lol! The next bit was just as cool with Bardock, being summoned by King Vegeta. Now, the way he just brought up the Super Saiyan, ability to Bardock, and basically mocked him saying he'd achieve it and beat him back into nothingness. What just sucks about this is that both the King, and Bardock, are going to still come head to head and, for some reason, I know the result is going to be messy. Oh, and how silly of me I forgot to mention that Cressa, and Kakarot, training under King Kai, is cool too! The funny part is I loved how Kami, helped the both of them cheat getting there using Mr. Popo's magic carpet! But, hey at least they can both focus on their training! Which I can't wait to see how they both come out of it; which is going to make me think that in the vision we saw both Kakarot, and Cressa, using Kaioken to fight that one creature! Also, I didn't think that Vegeta, was privy to any of the fighting with Bardock's crew. But, he saw Raditz!? Cue jealousy number two! Which is what happened, when Vegeta, went to Raditz's house and he challenged him; I liked how Raditz, the entire time stood up to the Prince of all Saiyans. I can tell Raditz, is all about honor and family, which is great! So, I can't wait to see this fight with Raditz, and Vegeta! Also, I love how Bulma, is still around the prince, and she is trying to help him become a Super Saiyan? Why do I smell some dastardly deeds with Bulma, here?! The whole ending was a surprise! I didn't expect Bardock, to run into Future Trunks, and have the both of them argue over moral decisions. It was just an interesting conversation, Trunks, saying the time line he knew is gone, and he wants to fix it. Bardock, saying that with his power he knows what he changed, but everyone deserves a chance at life. I was shocked when Trunks, went then to fighting Bardock, to change back the time line. It was an intense battle, and was shocked to learn that Trunks, was still the stronger and came out on top. When it looked like Trunks, was going to put the time line back into place; I liked how you made Bardock, appeal to his choice of messing with the timeline originally to save his father, thus originally changing the flow of time. I was then even more shocked to see Trunks, was going to think about Bardock's view and whether or not the timeline should still exist. Either way, great way to buy time Bardock! Now, the looming threat...Broly, and Paragus, are on their way to Earth? Oh lord, you're differences are insane but great! I wonder if Bardock, will be able to help Broly? So, I can't wait for the next chapter and the newsletter! Just great!
EgyLynx chapter 24 . 12/7/2016
oh my... where this go?
Hugodrax chapter 23 . 11/22/2016
Dang man, another great chapter! I just love it all! Even though you had Tora, power up to his full potential with the full help of the Majin Symbol, I liked how you still showed Bardock, going Super Saiyan, that was a cool moment. Plus a great attention getter for letting us know that things were going to get serious! I also like the ending of the Fasha, Gine, fight. You made me believe that Gine, had died too, but when we just saw her injured, I was happy! But, then I loved when you took the fight between These two females even further! It was just so awesome to see Gine, use the Kamehameha Wave, to propel her off the ground and soar right at Fasha, where she just whacked the heck out of her former friend! Loved how you present the imagery of Gine, looking like an Oozaru too! After Fasha's defeat I was shocked to see her begging for death, just not to fall victim to Babidi, I was surprised to see how Gine, reacted. Even after all Fasha, had done to her and Maine, She couldn't kill her friend. So, when it fell to Maine, and she did the best thing, a mercy killing, I was still shocked at how Gine, was trying to beg Maine, for not killing Fasha. So, at the end when you only had Gine's tears fill the forest I felt really bad for her. When we had returned to Raditz, and company I was shocked to see Raditz, and Pota, in a destroyed city. When you had Raditz, take a look around I was shocked when we saw a giant Oozaru, of unknown origin fighting a red hued Cressa, and Kakarot. Now two things popped into my mind when I read this...is this an alternate universe that the two young warriors are trapped in; or is this a vision of Pota, seeing the future for the rest to even see...given the power that Pota, emitted earlier. Either way, it was short but sweet, so what will the others thing of this? As well as Pota, Tabaga, and Raditz? The final showdown of Tora, and Bardock, was awesome! It was just vengeful, hard hitting, and face paced! What more could anyone want!? The only thing that stunk about the fight was that King Vegeta, had to witness Bardock, and now he's all ticked off about the transformation that the apparent low class has...what will come of this development?! At the end when Bardock, had gotten through to Tora, again; I was shocked in the last ditch effort of Tora, killing himself to stop his rampage. But, I did like how you added the remembrance of the bloody headband from Tora, and Bardock. Now, Bardock, will wear it as an armband to remember his friend and Babidi, will have a lot to answer for! Can't wait for the next chapter, and I eagerly await the newsletter!
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