Reviews for Pokémon: The Line
aurarosequartz chapter 7 . 4/24/2022
It's a real disappointment that this fic is abandoned, I really enjoyed reading it. I went looking to see if I could find any more of your writing and saw that you were suicidal around the time of posting (but that you are thankfully still around!) so I hope you are doing much better these days!
Axccel chapter 2 . 9/23/2021
That's...not actually amusing or believable. The moment that message appeared and the people there realized what had happened, they would have gone ballistic and half the crowd would have been calling the police.

Even without that, they'd be QUITE curious to learn how it is he is having his starter catch wild Pokemon when he doesn't legally have a starter...the police would also be quite curious to hear him explain that.

Oak would NOT take kindly to Blue stealing a Pokemon, especially his in-all-but-name other grandson's. And the public would sure as Hell NEVER EEEEEVER see someone demanding their Pokemon THAT WAS STOLEN FROM THEM returned. They'd be demanding the thief be arrested and Blue would be humiliated and his reputation on the battle scene would be destroyed. Red would be seen as an up and coming trainer with a famous professor's attention who was wronged by the FORMER trainer Blue (he sure as shit would have his license revoked for stealing a Pokemon).

This idea about Red looking petulant or something for demanding his Pokemon back from a thief is totally nonsensical bullshit. If that's what you think people feel about thieves, then you must struggle to separate reality from your imagination. No idea why you'd imagine something like that, but it's still the opposite of the truth.
Axccel chapter 1 . 9/23/2021
Interesting beginning and the first writer I've seen to realize the implications of Poke Ball technology. Also, I like how unique you made Eevee as an individual being and the implication that means for Pokemon in general.

Although, I have to say that if you can read the data of an inanimate object to do what a Poke Ball does, then you can change it very easily. The only limitation would be the incredible number of changes that can be made to the data and the results and probably would require a major overhaul in order to even change it noticeably from whatever was originally stored. However, if they just scan every kind of material and object in the world, then they can just overwrite a dirt clod with an apple or something. The mass would have to be correct for the desired product, but that can easily be handled by withholding the excess mass as data and using it for something else (or just expelling the excess as a smaller dirt clod).

So, yeah, there isn't really a reason for them not to be post-scarcity. Excepting that mass would still be used so it's not nothing to something.
Icicleact3 chapter 7 . 12/7/2020
Great story, really enjoyed it. I know it's a longshot, but I'd love to see an update.
poogle chapter 7 . 4/23/2020
I really like this gritty realistic take on pokemon.

Sad to see its not been continued but who knows.

Thanks for the fun read!
Guest chapter 1 . 4/5/2020
Ummm who’s gonna break it to blue that rock types ARE affected by electric type moves, it’s just that a lot of them are dual ground types so they are immune to electricity...
Guest chapter 7 . 5/17/2018
Thank you for writing this.

I enjoyed it immensely.
Walk The Max Planck chapter 7 . 1/27/2018
Damn, this is really good. Sure, there are some small things I could nit-pick here and there - mostly really minor grammar and other technical errors that crop up every now and then - but otherwise it's great, amazing even. I could go into a list of all the things that I really like about it, but that would be pretty long, so I'll mention the few that stick out the most.

1. Your characterization in general, but especially of Red. You're writing him as inexperienced, still immature, a bit naive, prone to making dumb decisions, and an all around rookie, which he is. You've set it up so that there is a ton of room for character development and progress. Frankly, you've probably done a better job of that than any other fanfiction I've ever read, and not only does that amount to easily over a thousand fics, but I've been quite picky in the quality of fanfiction I read for years now.

2. Your in story explanations for stuff from the games and anime. The end of this chapter is a fantastic example. Yours is a far better way to have Brock join Red than what's done in the anime, with better setup, better explanation, and better tie in to the rest of the story and setting. The execution was also amazing; it came out of nowhere, yet seems like it was inevitable in hindsight. Other cases of this are water being strong against rock, the whole thing with "the tall grass", your gym and badge system, and *especially* Viridian gym and the reason Red can't challenge it first.

3. Speaking of the Viridian Gym, not only do I love the way you worked that in, but I love your version of Giovanni and how he ties in to the whole Viridian Gym thing. You've made him more than just a generic bad guy that doesn't give a shit about pokemon and only sees them as tools. Far beyond that, you made him someone that can not only be identified with, but who's motives (as we know them thus far) are actually understandable and *make sense*, a man who just wants to do the right thing but through different means. Of course that's only what we've seen of him from Red's POV, but that makes it all the more interesting to see how everything else will fit in. Frankly, he's the most intriguing character so far, and I really want to see where you take him.

4. The setting in general, and the world-building.

Fuck, I really, really hope you get back to this some day. It's too good to not be continued.
Eevee chapter 2 . 1/17/2018
Blue stealing the eevee and leaving a note in the pokeball was an awesome twist! But doesn't Eevee need to be with it's original pokeball? Eh, why am I asking when you haven't updated in over a year. Lol I hope you're okay though author. Take care.
Windfall chapter 3 . 12/31/2017
Blue, King of Trolls!

I love this fanfic.
Windfall chapter 7 . 12/31/2017
Fantastic writing. The simplicity of Brock's solution was brilliant.

But there were more ways to defeat Kabuto, weren't there? I mean, eroding the ground below would have forced it into a hole that, without water and with its odd claws would prevent it from digging and escaping. Absorbing water from the bubbles would have helped. Using bank shots on hard ground as well.

But then, that is what made this so awesome. Red had no easy outs, was not a tactical genius and was even close to defeat.
thesuperspider chapter 1 . 8/23/2017
idk if you even check this anymore, but if you do, i just wanted to let you know, i LOVE this story!
Kishoto chapter 7 . 4/29/2017
"The Line will return in February, with Arc II:"

It' :P
dakeyras chapter 7 . 3/16/2017
Hey, I'm really enjoying this story so far. I hope it updates soon.

With that out of the way, I'm gonna leave some more specific feedback. I think the emphasis on worldbuilding is very nice, and I'm a big fan of how you've translated some aspects of the games/anime over to this setting while introducing new plot lines and pieces of history (the Reclamation, for one).

Your repeated mentions of Red's father are kinda irritating. It's clear that Red & Giovani both know who he is, and they're discussing him, and Red is the POV character - not letting the reader know anything at all about him comes across slightly more as the author deliberately avoiding mentioning details about him than anything that organically arises. It kinda breaks the immersion of the story because it takes the reader to a meta-level of reading the text ('why is this mentioned this way?' rather than just 'here's what happens').

Red seems like a fairly inconsistent character. We don't get to see enough of his longer-term planning for him to look intelligent in the way you seem to be going for, although the fight against Brock was really good. He doesn't think about or start training any of his Pokemon other than Admiral, and the reader isn't told anything at all about what Red's plans are beyond 'go to the next city & fight the Gym leader', or why he's following a specific route. Diving a little deeper into his motivations might be good.

I'm really enjoying this story overall, it's just easier to criticise than encourage. A few things I liked in particular are your descriptions of wild Pokemon, the way that Trainer endorsements & media coverage work (although I'd like to see more worldbuilding about the economy, if possible) and Giovani's character.
DaystarEld chapter 7 . 2/23/2017
Ok, I finally caught up on the story!

First off, I've been really enjoying it. Good blend of seriousness and humor (Red's narrative while walking through the forest was great), and the battles are well done. You've also done a good job with various rationalizations of the pokemon world, (the way you describe Rock's negative reaction to Water is much more entertaining than my throwaway line about an "allergic" reaction) and I look forward to more exploration of the Bloom and Reclamation.

Keep up the good work, and I hope to see new updates soon!
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