Reviews for Past Imperfect
Flaming chapter 1 . 6/26/2004
this sounds very promising and i eagerly await your update! keep going
Dawn chapter 1 . 9/10/2003
Jessie,

Great story! Don't leave me hanging, girl!
DevilsQT chapter 1 . 8/27/2003
I'm going through some old fics and found this one that I REALLY like. Please update and quickly please!

~Devil
wallyflower chapter 1 . 3/2/2003
Interesting, and while I look forward to future chapters, I have to comment ona a few things. First-although the Makeover scene in this fic is much more subtle and in-character than in most fics (where they have Hermione wearing extremely short skirts, sport silver make up and make out with everyone she meets. shudder), I still find it disturbing that most romance fic authors feel that they have to give Hermione a makeover as an incentive for the male protagonist to like her. I mean, Hermione is my favourite character, and like every one else I want her to be happy and smart and pretty, but the idea of a makeover at the beginning of the story, to trigger the story itself in the beginning, is overused, and, might I say, a bit cowardly. Hermione's very purpose-in the books, at least-is to prove that smart girls have a place in the world, and while they might not normally be physically beautiful, they can be perceived as beautiful by those whom she knows, helps, and cares for. Giving her a makeover and stressing her appearance, her curves & legs, and outgoing qualities over her terribly annoying intelligence and intrinsic kindness, would defeat that purpose entirely, and almost makes the story unrealistic.

Also, Hermione's age: while you might argue that she is technically Eighteen years old because of the Time turner debacle, she is still, in ordinary time, sixteen years old when her seventh year begins. She is born in 1980, on September 19, and as her sixth-year term begins on September first, 1997, she would not be seventeen, much less eighteen, until much later.

Also, there are misspellings (Krum is Bulgarian, thus ViKtor, and not Victor), and some expressions that I don't think fit into this essentially British narrative. I suggest getting a Brit-picker-someone who knows British expressions, places and customs, and who can help you with your dialogue and narrative.

I'm sorry for the awfully heavy review. For all that, I do think this is an interesting story, and I intend to tune in for future chapters. It's just that I tend to take 's advice to give 'well-rounded critique' quite seriously. I hope I have not discouraged you from writing-I beg you to continue this story.

Merry
Angie chapter 1 . 2/16/2003
Jessie

This is a good start to a story and i do hope that you will continue writing it. i must admit that i was suprised as most of ths stories on this page have poor plot and charter development or ignor the detales that give a story depth. best of luck with you works.

Angie

(PS. I am refering to 'Past Imperfect'. and aplogise for my poor speling.)
Equipoise chapter 1 . 12/26/2002
You've certainly roused my curiousity. Please, do continue...
Aibi chapter 1 . 12/23/2002
ooooo! nice! Plz continue!
piper chapter 1 . 12/22/2002
very good story i like how you go into detail about what the characters are doing and how they feel at that moment please write more soon
Guest chapter 1 . 12/18/2002
Hey I like your story .. please writte more
Meg chapter 1 . 12/18/2002
This is an intriguing beginning. Slytherin a Potions Master? I wonder if that's supposed to foreshadow something about the current one. I am anxious to see where you intend to take this. It is extremely well written.
starheart20 chapter 1 . 12/18/2002
Wow If you hadn't of said this was your first HP story I never would have known it's really good and I would like to see where you are taking the plot
Faith13 chapter 1 . 12/17/2002
WOW i am really interested in this story! It definitely has amazing potential and I can't wait to see what happens next! Keep up the great work! you seem like a fabulous writer so far!

*~*Much Love*~*

- faith
Arysta chapter 1 . 12/17/2002
Wow. I like this start of a fic. I think that you could have split the prologue and first chapter, though. Your prose is very readable - I look forward to reading more of this fic!
Guest chapter 1 . 12/17/2002
love it... PLEAZZEEE Continue , i cant wait
caroline chapter 1 . 12/17/2002
love it! great beginning, sounds like the plot is going to be good. keep updating or a lot of ppl wont come and read again!
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