Why do you writers always give the MC a tragic childhood? Is it lack of originality or the belief that you can’t make a good story without having something bad happen to the MC?

'Issei was touched in that moment by the fact that he had never killed anyone before. Sure, he was undefeated in the Pit, having caused mortal wounds to fester and cause endless suffering. He had justified that with his own needs, his own survival. Now… this was pointless. With one mental command, he snuffed the flame inside the downed man. By now Freed's pulse rate had slowed to a crawl, and he could not bring himself to truly kill someone in cold blood. Besides, this one would die soon anyway.'

lmao, are you serious? this guy is even more of a pussy than canon issei, ridiculous.

name a more iconic duo than dxd MCs and never training, this guy knows for a fact he'll have to fight a devil that's potentially stronger than him.. what does he do? go plant fliers, what. the. fuck?

'All in all, pamphlet duty wasn't particularly hard but it was time-consuming. Wandering through the market district, as well as through the mall, Issei was able to divest himself of all the evil papers before too long, though the effort of identifying potentials did bore him. Thankfully, he didn't have to walk far before arriving at his new home.'

are you actually serious?

this your story not mine if I don't like something I won't complain about it unless it something serious not a difference of opinion. good you put your foot down like I said before this is yours you do you if they don't like it tell them to write their own.

I'm a little confused by the power structure your trying g to establish for Issei. Earlier you stated he was fighting in Tartarus. A prison you said holds the worst of the worst in terms of creatures or powers that needed contained. You even stated he beat creatures like a Hydra, top level sorcerer and a minotaur at once. He was even handicapping himself then. So why would he have any issues with Freed or Raynare? Speed alone should have been enough to win those fights quickly. I understand your intent to follow canon but it doesn't really make sense for this Issei to have any issues with them.

cockafag nonse fucker

do have something against Saji or it just plot convenience?

Going to call it quits here on chapter 8. Some parts of the story were well written, but if there's one thing I absolutely can't stand it's purposely weakening a character to accommodate canon plot. This is fanfiction man. If you want a canon plot point to happen, make it happen on a way that makes sense within the context of the story you've written. Don't build up a character making them someone who should be able to fight Kokabiel and then have them struggle with people like Freed.

I like the idea but the story feels forced and doesn't have proper flow. the power scaling is way off and down right stupid. issei supposedly is a descendent of a heavenly dragon and fought in tartarus for years. im not flaming when I say that by chapter 8 this isn't a story being told its like reading the plot line for an overbearing dungeon masters campaign where you know literally nothing you do will ever have an effect because it's all railroaded. You made the mistake of writing the story rather than coming up with the idea and letting the story write itself. As such everything feels fake, muddled, and honestly makes no sense. Let's be actually honest issei wouldve bodied Artemis if he had the ability to escape tartarus bare minimum he would've traded something for power like issei did in the show then bodied her. The story has an amazing premise and you have talent with writing but the story fucking blows. I have given up about a quarter through chapter 8 as I said no hate you are a good writer you should rewrite this story from scratch, because its a great premise and backstory was well done but currently from what I've seen its filled with plot holes and points that honestly make no sense.

Lame story is lame, no sense of consistency.
Hmm spend years in prison or take a leap of faith and end up somewhere random.
No one in their right mind stays in the worst prison because they are worried where they might end up.
Two, noone in their right mind would escape prison and go straight back to the scene of the crime and their point of arrest.
Least of all if you had an ally whonis several thousand years old telling you how fucking stupid that is.
How if he escaped using divine dividing did someone have time to hear about a prison break, get to the prison, get incontact with another pantheon God, who just happens to be a hunter, figure out where the escapee is going, convince them to go after them, track then down all in the time for the escapee to dimension travel and Bam, shot with arrows. Dumb dumb.
How is it, someone possessing a God killing gear with juggernaut drive unlocked, years of life or death training in an arena with divine fire breath one shot by a shitty goddess of the hunt, Jesus, even saying that makes me feel bad.

And finally, the sheer Idiocracy of knowing that when the MC was a weak nothing without the gear unlocked took all the pawns in the original story line vs a elite trained, juggernaut drive using, divine fire breath wielding MC who is going to be reincarnated by a shitty king who can't beat a fucking regenerating fire chicken is so awful, and a story line so forced that I seriously think GoT season 8 was better.

I read this story years ago and had forgotten why I stopped reading it. Rereading it now and it was probably this chapter that did it. It isn’t just your writing, but cannon does this as well: the blatant disregard or lack of consequences for attempted murder. Riser attempted to murder Issei before the rating game, which should have broken the marriage agreement between the houses if not treated as a declaration of war between Phoenix and Gremory. The only person in this chapter who has a reasonable reaction is the Vanishing Dragon, and all he really wants is what happens in cannon anyway.

literally fucking dumpster fire. killed his mom, ran his father off made his bond mate disappear then dumped him in prison make him escape to be betrayed and hunted again. this in 5 chapters its not good

dude, I love your fanfics! your writing is awesome! readable and in-depth to really get into the character, and the pages are long enough to enjoy! I just wished there were always more to it, but I can imagine how long it takes to write one chapter. I've read this one like 3 times already lol

thank you!

You ask readers to leave a review and to let you know what we thought after tearing the hearts out of 2 main characters and murdering more? You sir are a dick.

I'm out o/

I am honestly sad right now. You had written such an interesting story, but I feel like you just squandered everything in two chapters... Ugh, it feels like shit.
You had shown that you were perfectly capable of writing an interesting story outside of canon, but for some reason you have forced nerfs and retarded decisions to make canon a thing again... It just feels soooo forced.
The whole non-killing makes no sense as well, since that was never a problem in canon. Since chapter 8, it has felt like you replaced the previous Issei with an entirely different character. I can't help but mourn the loss of the epic Issei, especially with the retarded and weak replacement you put in his place.