Reviews for A New Player |
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![]() ![]() ![]() ok few things to note here but for one the world seems fake like when he first viewed the "business man" there was no info besides what helps the character what about the name what about his origins. Little character details like these is what gives the character life and i know it a Hassel to write a balance character sheet for each person but that what makes your story stands out. secondly the stats they seems too hard caped why does this person start off with 5 each you could have used it to give your readers an idea what his flaws would be in the future like giving him less vit than whats normal to show his health isnt all great due to the recarntion process or less intelligent to give your oc a weakness in this world |
![]() ![]() ![]() Dex/Agi being responsible for a persons speed is smth I'll never understand in all these gamer ffs. The most major part of speed is the STRENGTH of you legs. Obviously Dex/Agi play a large role in your balance, reaction speed and coordination, but the most basic part is still leg strength |
![]() ![]() ![]() So he accidentally created his own enemy. The baby bear hello going to be in a spot or something. |
![]() ![]() ![]() if stats are hat fucking weak he should be dead DROPPING beccaauussee that |
![]() ![]() ![]() hmm strength ould make u faster atleast when all is the same because body weight would be less trouble some and u spend less energy because its easier hehe id go in strength |
![]() ![]() ![]() Why would anybody with a semblence of intelligence want to be near ichigo? He could just use his inventory to steal some food, water, clothes and maybe a bed. And then leave and explore the world or somethin |
![]() ![]() ![]() w chapter |
![]() ![]() ![]() i like this chapter |
![]() ![]() ![]() is he gonna become a shinigami? |
![]() ![]() ![]() I would like an update, if you would please |
![]() ![]() ![]() Well... Something about this chapter just felt wrong. It was "rushed" out just small because after a chapter where a lot happens this one just had him wake up, run and talk to Gaia about something that could've happened on chapter one or happened differently. He could've received a note on his inventory describing all that info dump part, or after reaching a certain level or doing something specific he could get an item that would basically do the same as the note or even a pre-recorded/holographic message from Gaia. Also why not make the bonuses described instead of making the unknown just for him to always get them right? It's easier to make a bonus quest like "find a new place to sleep" that has more chance of failing then making it mysterious just so the MC gets it right all the time. It's my opinion anyway but I'm enjoying the story so far. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Rest in Piece story |
![]() ![]() ![]() Love tehs tory so far, your OC has so much potential |
![]() ![]() ![]() keep it up, wish he would have gotten a lot moreholllows in that... |
![]() ![]() ![]() adorbs |