Reviews for Jokes Gone Wrong
Angel-Age54 chapter 3 . 7/2
Very good. I was hoping for Ronald Weasley pairing though. The only person I could conjure up to pair with him was Luna Lovegood.
acetwolf94 chapter 3 . 2/2
acetwolf94 chapter 2 . 2/2
I wish there was more with them, longer. Please add more!
acetwolf94 chapter 1 . 2/2
Guest chapter 1 . 12/27/2016
Honestly. Chapter one of this is my favorite Sev/Har smutfic ever. I always come back here when I need to get a fixing of this pair.

(Also for some weird reason, I can only ship these two if Harry is a girl... Maybe it's just because I cannot see Snape as anything but a strongly hetero man. Though my OTPs are usually male Harry taking it up the ass like a man lol. There's just something about Snape having a soft spot for the daughter of his true love that just gets me going. Harry is too much of James' son but femHarry in my head takes after her mother. For me Sev could never feel an attraction for male Harry, between his blatant heterosexuality and his animosity towards James such a relationship would just not work out. Of course, this doesn't mean I don't love a Mentor/Fatherly relationship between male Harry and Snape.)
AnimeFreak71777 chapter 3 . 2/18/2016
Bast Misao chapter 1 . 12/14/2015
It was a good read. I just have to wonder why, if Harry is a girl, is she still named Harry James Potter?
Azrael Jinsei chapter 1 . 11/15/2015
So do the stay together after the potion has run its course?
Thank you for writing this
RedButterfly33 chapter 3 . 11/13/2015
Ah, this one is more my cup of tea. There isn’t nearly enough WRONG with it. In fact, there’s nothing wrong with it. I actually think Neville and Daphne make a cute couple. I think I told you that at some point, but how much more interesting would it be if Neville went for Daphne instead of Hannah? Imagine the family dinners at the Malfoys. Just imagine it.

Aaanyway. Let’s talk characterization first.

I love Neville in this, he’s so... Neville-ish :D Totally adorable and he even manages to keep his wits about him somewhat, despite the potion’s powerful effects. That part when he actually resists looking at her breasts was especially impressive, even Snape couldn’t do that. He was just such a nice guy in this, thinking how it’s not right for it to go down this way and even apologizing. Really sweet of him.

Daphne was good too. She seems like she has a strong personality, smart enough to recognize what’s happening and to know she can’t counteract it. It was cute how she found Neville endearing and the small bit of hesitation she did show served to make her a little less... er, whore-ish? She’s obviously liberated in that regard, but she doesn’t just spread her legs for anybody. I kinda liked that, and she actually reminded me a little of my version of Dorcas Meadowes :D So that’s a good thing. My favorite part with her was when she heard him laugh and her eyes softened.

I suppose that all my favorite parts were the genuine ones – the places where the characters acted uninfluenced by the McGuffin potion, which is rather ironic, considering that in these sorts of pieces the goal is the exact opposite.

I can’t really find anything bad about it. There’s nothing I object to pairing-wise or plot –wise, other than the lust potion idea being incredibly overdone, but no one really cares about that when reading smut and it wasn’t a terribly offensive reason to get the couple together, I’ve certainly seen a lot worse.

When it comes to the writing itself, I think this was good. Flow was smooth and the dialogue was fitting to the characters and situation and sounded natural. Honestly, it’s good to be descriptive, but I feel like the parts when you used few words (or when thigs were just implied) were really effective as well (Neville’s first orgasm being one of those times). Better than going into nitty gritty details anyway, though that could just be me :P

I also find it a little funny that we have both featured a Merlin joke in something like this XD Awesome minds think alike.
RedButterfly33 chapter 1 . 10/29/2015
Right. First off, let me get the completely biased stuff out of the way. You can ignore this.

I CANNOT believe you talked me into this; Snarry is so, so wrong on soooooo many levels! Some of which he points out himself! ‘The daughter of the man he hated and the woman he loved’, ‘Lily’s sixteen-year-old daughter’ ‘it was not right to do this with Lily’s child’ YES, THOSE ARE BOTH GREAT ARGUMENTS, NOW STOP YOU SICKO! This is so unimaginably creepy omfg I don’t even.

But, I find it beyond disgusting only because of the pairing, and through no fault of your own. So here’s the objective stuff:

The Good: You did a great job with Snape’s characterization. I had to remind myself that this is an AU Snape that does NOT hate Harry (for some reason), and mostly kept out of her way. Not sure why exactly that is, since by the description she still looks like James, and she’s still the reason Lily died, but AU, I’ll roll with it. The thing is that now Harry and Snape have a completely different dynamic than they did in the books, so I’m not really sure what their interactions usually are like.

I loved his rational thoughts that ran through most of the fic, despite the potion’s effects. Very Severus. And the naughty thoughts interlaced with that just helped cement the potion’s potency. Something that added a bit more realism, IMO – he doesn’t want her specifically, not at first, he wants sex. And that’s the point of the potion in-story, to arouse in general instead of getting someone to want a very specific person. Which is how fics of this nature are usually used. Just because I don’t read those, it doesn’t mean I’m not familiar with the tropes.

I don’t know how to feel about the fact that you’re trying to beautify him a little. His hair is greasy because he’s a slimy git, and his skin is pale because he stays inside all day. The truth of the matter is that Snape is by no means attractive in the books, but well, he’s played by Alan Rickman. So, I usually look down on this, trying to shift a character for the purpose of making him more attractive, but this IS smut, and there isn’t much of it. Plus, you didn’t dwell on it, so I honestly forgot about it after a few sentences. But it’s there. And I’m looking at it. From up high on my mighty horse.
Back to the character, I think you’ve kept his dark humor intact, which was great, and he just... sounded like Snape. I don’t know how to explain it; you’ve just captured his character very well (for an AU). It was a great touch how he hates anything James about her, but loved anything Lily (like how he loves the eyes but hates the glasses; loves the face but hates the hair). Loved that bit.

“I’m horny.”
That had me ROLLING. I can’t believe someone had the GALL to tell Severus Snape that right to his face. XD Beyond hilarious.

Harry is a little harder to pin down, since we spend zero time in her head and most of what we see of her is the aforementioned horniness. I did manage to pick up on a few things though – she still plays quidditch and has just as much cheek. Most her appearance is focused on touch though, so I can’t really tell much about her. She seems IC though. Apart from the whole ‘potion’ thing, she doesn’t say or do anything Harry himself wouldn’t.

The Bad:
“Lay back and relax. I’m told I’m rather good at this.”
He is, is he? Had a lot of sexual partners, dear old Sev? Women complimenting you on your tongue skills? Is that a side-effect of your AU? Because I’ve always had the sneaking suspicion he died a virgin :D Could just be me though. He just seemed very Lily-sexual. Did some hanky-panky go down in Voldy’s HQ? The DE had massive orgies at one point? (I so wouldn’t put it past them XD)

Another thing is Harry’s supposed virginity. Look, I’m not going to pretend I’m some expert on sex or anything, and I do know that it’s different for everyone, but it seemed... too glanced over? Not that the first time is that special IMO, but it hurts like a MOTHER. Most painful thing I’ve ever experienced, and I’ve had broken bones. Yes, yes, for some it hurts less, though everyone I know so far has said that it hurt. And not everyone bleeds, but you do realize that ‘popping the cherry’ is basically tearing your own flesh? There’s usually at least a little bit. I can’t even begin to imagine what it would feel like for a guy, but I’m relatively sure they can feel the hymen (from the like two guys I’ve asked about it). Not to mention that most women are not ready for a second time so soon after the first, though that could just be the potion. A lot of women also feel pain the second, third, even the next couple of times. It’s just that it felt a little rushed. If you hadn’t mentioned in advance that she’s a virgin, I wouldn’t have thought it. it could have used more detail, some dwelling on the less-pleasant aspects of it, other than how AMAZEBALLZ it feels for him.
SPaG: Found some minor ones, but I don’t feel like combing the fic again to find them :P

Overall: I thought it was well-done. It was good. I really liked some of you wording choices, such as:

{[The thought] went up in a puff of smoke when she pulled him back in for more kissing}

{but that damn odor, it felt like it was coiling through his very brain matter}

I don’t know what you want me to say about the sex. It’s descriptive, which is both good and bad, bad mostly because it’s Snarry and that’s just vile. I suppose it did flow well (so gross) and the actions were clear; nothing left me confused as to who was going what (y u do dis 2 me). Their bodies were not overly romanticized (I hate you) so that was (sort of, not really) an appreciated layer of realism (blech).

Him thinking about the underwear though, that was GOLD XD You’ve done very well with lacing bits of humor in this, spaced out enough not to distract form the (supposed) arousal (ugh).

I also liked how he rationalized everything with the potion, even when it probably had nothing to do with it. It affects the senses, not the heart.
LadiePhoenix007 chapter 3 . 10/6/2015
I wasn't sure about this when I read the summary, but I am so glad that I read this fic. Fantastic job with all the couples. My favorite was the Dramione, but I really enjoyed the Neville/Daphne, too.
Rain chapter 3 . 8/26/2015
chocolatetea21 chapter 3 . 8/9/2015
I actually really loved this. Smut or not it was awesome
dnmio chapter 2 . 7/12/2015
Awesome :)
Guest chapter 1 . 7/3/2015
I read your story feeling kind of unsure but thinking what the heck. It's waaaay better than I thought it was going to be :) I'm so glad I took a chance and read it. Please write more. Not more couples per say, but more story line. Like what happens after
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