|Reviews for Outlander|
| kinda adorkable chapter 2 . 7/6
This story is very, very interesting. It's unlike any (in the Dragon Age series) I've ever read before. I love the references from our world! It's always cool to see the differences in technology and culture.
I'm curious as to what Julie's role will be in this fic. Will she be a main character, or just someone who introduces Sam (I think that was his name) to Thedas and leaves? Who is she, and what's her importance? Hmm.
Also, I'm wondering what the timeline is right now. We know Celene is the Empress, so it's, at least, 9 something Dragon, the same century as the games take place. Has the Fifth Blight already been ended? Or, perhaps, is it still in progress-or has it even begun yet?
Lots of potential!
| kinda adorkable chapter 1 . 6/29
This is... interesting. It reminds me a little of the anime 'Gate'. I'm very excited to see where this story goes. Great work so far.
| Titus Pullover chapter 58 . 6/29
Second comment ever.
LOVED this last chapter. Clearly among my favorites. The first part was great at politicking and lore building your country, the latter part was simply breath taking, as in I felt like I was holding my breath the whole time through. Maaaybe the first hint of Julie's pregnancy was a bit heavyhanded, but that's on par with your writing style and the mémoire genre.
So many babiiies ! Somebody's not going to get to sleep anymore in a few months.
I neeeeeed moooooore ! S'il vous plait !
So now my geographer brain is confused about a few things.
This is probably just my fault from not reading carefully enough.
Up until your declaration of Settlement I was positively 100% sure Val Halla was a valley ON the Isle of Dogs, for Troy to become Thedas' own Hong-Kong-ish superpowered island-city-state. I've gathered from last chapter that the Bay of Dolphins is the strait between the mainland and the island. But you've said it's 15km long (unless it's only the calm-water part of a bigger body, or is it the width and not the lenght ?). Does that mean the island itself is 15km long ? On Thedas map it's very narrow so does that mean it's only a couple km across ?
Considering this I find it rather small to host a city-state (the city proper could fit, I guess, but not much else).
So I've logically deduced from this (and from how you define the borders of Val Halla in your declaration), that Troy is actually on the mainland, a bit inland (between those seven hills and small rivers you've described) from the bay, which is behind the island.
But if the city's in that spot and if the island is 15km long, that means Troy is more or less 30km from Hercynia (give or take 10km depending where exactly on the bay you've settled). That seems really close, something you could do by foot within a day.
And therefore, /- 60km form Markham, 100km from Ostwick. Given those short distances, now I really get why there would be "some" border issues between Troy and those cities ! Interesting story developments in view !
Maybe there's something I've missed. This scale seems off to me. When I was figuring your city was on the island, I imagined something more or less Isle-of-Man-sized (but thinner). Now it becomes Guernsey-sized (but thinner).
Then maybe I've not understood anything at all and the settlement is not at all inland from the island, but much more west of it, more south/south-east of Markham and closer to it than Hercynia?
So I've drawn a fanstasticallually clear and well designed map of the area for me to illustrate my doubts so you could point to "it's there" but I can't find any way to upload it. shame.
Also, as a counter-point to SleeperAwakens's remark : There's not nearly enough French ! And it's not even really French anyway. (Mont DU Mars hurts my eyes so, soooo much, it should have been Mont DE Mars, or even Mont Mars. But that's Franglorlésien at it again.)
| SaddyFics chapter 52 . 6/14
You know..., this debate would not have happened if they opted for a constitutional monarchy/aristocracy. This is not some 13 odd colonies ruled far away on some island, this takes place on a continent with the seat of power being relatively close. A continental republic cannot exist without fast transport like trains and vehicles I imagine it would be a nightmare running it.
| BlackBox Inc chapter 58 . 6/5
This is my first review so I’ve got a lot to cover, mostly cuz it’s my second read through. Having said that, I’ve got a lot of ground to cover.
First let me say I love this story. Seriously there is so much potential with this that my own muse is going crazy, coming from the guy who hasn’t written anything since 2012 haha.
I’m seriously looking forward to when Sam’s niece comes to Thedas as it has been hinted at and even comfirmed by you. Although I’m curious how old she will be when she arrives. Does time move differently for earth as it does Thedas? One of many questions I have tbh.
Before that tho I should get the unpleasant bits out of the way. For one I was never convinced of Tam and Sam’s relationship. It never truest felt natural. In fart she seemed more to fill the role she actually does have in the three way which is the voice of conscience and that of a mother. It never felt to me that there was that spark that Sam and Julie had/have. It kind of felt forced. And in cannon I’m 99% sure that Kossith and Humans cannot reproduce. It’s heavily implied that hornless Qunari are more of a genetic abnormality that the result of mix breeding. But then again I’ve overlooked it more often than I’ve thought of it. But I felt like pointing it out.
In terms of literary negatives, I do believe it would have made more sense for the election to have taken place after the Free Army reach Val Halla. They were essentially trapped in a foreign city, in a openly hostile country, awaiting if Ferelden would march upon Amaranthine. All it would take is a siege. Granted it is known Ferelden’s baby is a joke but all land routes would be cut off and a bombardment from Ferelden siege weapons would have eventually broken the Free Army’s back. Priority should have been on defending the surrounding countryside etc you know where I’m going with this. However it’s done and never really hurt the story.
That’s it for the negatives. Everything else I love. Adding tanks or ironclads would be a mistake at least until the future. I get that magic can help speed things along and what not but going from a feudal state to a pre industrial one in the span or a year(?) is a tad far fetched. It reminds me of those Mass Effect stories where humanity goes from being pre space flight to having a galactic navy that rivals species that have been in the stars since before there were even humans chipping at rocks. Narratively however, the Free Army already seems untouchable. Despite their biggest issue being numbers, no army can really stand against them unless they went full asymmetrical which Sam has already done with the FA. Adding tanks or ironclads is just unnecessary for now. At least until it becomes the game changer it was in our world. Neccesity demanding a new weapon to breach the trenches and thankfully the Brits got to the idea first. Fun fact, the only reason that it’s called a tank is because the Beots name it that to fool the Germans into thinking they were making a better storage container for water. There’s a series out there called the Southern Victory, where the South won the civil war. Long story short it was the US that makes the first tank, but since a container holding water is called a barrel in the states, it takes that moniker from then on. I always found that interesting.
Anyway despite what I’ve mentioned I do enjoy the hell out of this story, I can not wait to find out how everything turns out. If you want I can go into further detail on what I like and don’t like bit this review is already long enough. Keep up the excellent work, and please update this soon, I await with bated breath to see how everything turns out.
With my compliments,
| Akashic Records chapter 58 . 6/2
Wooo! Babies! So cute and eager to start a civil war in the hypothetical future! Wooo!
| Viper0300 chapter 1 . 5/30
Thank you for the upload! Been really missing this story! Keep up the good work and so looking forward to this arc!
| SleeperAwakens chapter 58 . 5/23
The only things I can criticise:
1. The pairing. Harems are for pansies that don't have the balls to choose one woman and/or barely pubescent horndogs. Still, you somehow make it work. This is the only story that I can recall that utilise Da Harem to make the story more interesting and actually succeed. But really, was it necessary?
2. The books from Earth. Incredibly heavy-handed. You even acknowledge that the books had no business being there, but you still did it. Why didn't you make it a civilian relief mission? You could have a couple of teachers or something aboard.
3. Julie's mind is another deus ex machina. Eidetic memory is not nearly that versatile and cannot explain her accomlishments. Being a genius could, to a degree, but a super-genius with an eidetic memory? What. Just... what? Her obvious flaws save her from being a Mary Sue, but only just.
4. The constant "it turned out later that x", despite being consistent with it being a memoir, are pretty anoying.
5. The copious French. Untranslated. I can make educated guesses by context, but again, there is no reason not to give translations. Or drop it alltogether. They are Orlesian, we get it, no need to rub it in.
| SleeperAwakens chapter 57 . 5/23
This story made me forget to eat, drink, expel the things I have previously ate or drank, write my thesis and generally function.
This story made me scream into my pillow and run around the flat flailing my arms at dunno pm.
This story was sent to a couple of friends followed by the most insightful commentaries such as "PFFNTTNAHHnfofk".
This story had me grin at the celing, make insentical noises, jog in place out of second-hand embarassment and generally behave in increasingly deranged ways.
| Francisco914 chapter 58 . 5/22
Man i hope they could find an old henri-martini rifle so they could re produce it.
| Francisco914 chapter 58 . 5/22
I can't wait for the re-invention of the MG.
| FloridaMagpie chapter 58 . 5/21
Great to see another chapter. Definitely worth the wait.
| Guest chapter 58 . 5/19
Excellent job on the new chapter! I greatly enjoy how the story is developing and will be looking forward to reading more of it in the future.
| Zechs chapter 58 . 5/19
Great to see a new chapter! I expected this to happen but not in this chapter! I’m so looking forward to what happens next! Curious to see talkings with other marchers or the dalish in the island! I hope we don’t have to wait as long as we did for the next chapter!
| 5 Coloured Walker chapter 58 . 5/20
So, Outlander blood either magnifies magical abilities in those with such power, or grants resistance/immunity in those without? Interesting. Also creates an interesting dynamic where eventually some will laugh at magic as a non-issue, while others can litterally rend a planet in two if there's none of the others on it.
A great chapter, I eagerly await more.
The section quoted below stands out, at first because I thought you were missing quote marks, but then after because it's awkwardly formatted. I understand you with to make it look like a list, but it isn't written as one would speak, or at least write people speaking, AFAIK. I do believe it's the first time I've seen people speaking in lists like these at least.
"Baroness de Villars commands the Guards' Brigade, with all three cavalry regiments.
Soprano leads the Ranger Brigade, with her Ranger regiment and two more firelancer regiments.
McNulty the Grenadier Brigade, two firelancer regiments with the Grenadier one.
Mike will get three firelancer regiments mounted up as a Dragoon Brigade.
And I'll command the Highlander Brigade directly, with both Avvar regiments and the Foreign Legion, as well as overseeing the National Guard with Mike as my deputy.
The Libertarian mage regiment and the artillery batteries will be dispersed among the brigades as we usually do.
The Foreign Legion will take up the role of magical assault from the Aequitarians, whom will be stood down as you requested, to release them for administrative work.
The Templars will be returned to the command of Barris alone under the watchful eye of Mother Brandon, and the Grey Wardens will be under the command of McNulty when operating with our Army.
All of them except Barris will form a General Staff, so we can begin making war-plans to fit as many of the possible scenarios going forward."