Great artwork and nice story
p.s. I need help publishing out my story.

There are some slight grammatical errors and the plot moves just a tad fast for my taste. The characters are also out of alignment, though this is acceptable and somewhat expected from a FF. Yet their feelings, I feel, were oft portrayed a bit rushed and unrealistically.

That being said, and ignoring some few spelling errors, I absolutely adored this. I fully support the pairing of Lili and Bell and I feel you have a very interesting take on where it could go, post-episode 13. I must let you know I even laughed quite hard at a few of the scenes you portrayed. I do hope you might continue this at some point and I shall be following just in case.

-V

love this
wanted a lilixbell fic
even without that the grammar is good and the characters are in character without bashing to make the main pairing look good.

That was a wonderful story! I loved Bete's reaction. It was so funny XD

Do you think you can also write a Bell x Hestia fic in the future? I'd love to read one of those by you!

That was a great story. DanMachi is still rather new, but I love the Bell/Lili pairing. The characters were done rather well in this. I hope there are more to come.

As a fan of Danmachi, all I can say is... yes, YES. YESH!

This - THIS - is an exemplary Danmachi fanfic. It has the main characters, their personality, the original content from Omori, and the build-up of a 12-minute episode without being wordy as hell.

In retrospect of the latter, the writing style reminded me of the YenPress novel of Danmachi, which is a bonus for me because I'm writing a Danmachi fic of my own. The descriptions and dialogue are like what I would be reading in the LN itself. Even Hestia, who's obsessive tendency for Bell's affection were raised up to eleven in the anime compared to the novel, acts EXACTLY like she would: jealous, but earnestly caring for Bell and everyone around him.

The only flaw I could think of is that the romance is a bit rushed, but it's still pulled off well. The anime/light novels provided the build-up of the relationship between Bell and Lili, and you managed to wind the two characters together within ~3k words.

All in all, impress work. I'll be remembering this one for a while.