Reviews for The Law of Us
Guest chapter 38 . 7/23
I love the story, the characters, this was great...Thank you for the journey!
Guest chapter 36 . 6/12
Edward...….could it be...copper hair...Edward...LMFAO She already knew he was in the fucking house but she acts all surprised what a fucking joke. Shes acting like she didn't know he was there and like she was locked up for a long time. SHE WAS THERE A DAY!
Guest chapter 33 . 6/12
Bella couldn't say that to get some water? SERIOUSLY? What a fucking moron.

And having her beg at the end of the chapter? Edward...Edward...please find me! Like shes some helpless little girl. Here an idea bella, you grab cauis's gun and shot him, then you shoot the other guys.
Guest chapter 29 . 6/12
Bella saying that Caius is jealous of the bond her and Edward have is a bit of a fucking leap isn't it? After all, his behavior and words haven't even hinted to that at this point. I also find it strange that Bella is the mafias only hope, only plan, out of this situation. Their supposed to be the fucking mafia right? So, surely NONE of their plans should hinge on her.

They really should just kill Bella, even though the volterri are using this as an excuse to start a war she really isn't worth the air she breaths, neither is Renee.

And if the Denalis aren't with them then they are against them. So why not take them out? That's what I would do.
Guest chapter 26 . 6/11
Calling their building HQ is pretty elementary don't you think?
Guest chapter 23 . 6/11
Edward is in his thirtys but hes scared of "feelings". And hes never had to "try" to get a woman, see I really doubt that. Women like to play hard to get and ALOT of women don't take any shit...…..so its bit hard to swallow ya know?
Guest chapter 22 . 6/11
Why would bella be surprised that she liked kissing him? Since it was obvious from the start that she liked him, I just find it odd that shes surprised, like she doesn't really have a right to be surprised at this point.
Guest chapter 21 . 6/11
so Bella said that her pay is 50000k a year, that the cullens would take half. So shes gonna pay them 4,166.67 a month towards her moms debt, roughly 16k (in all 4 months). But now, they have paid for a dress, hotel, car service, protection...whats next? Bella is supposed to be paying off a debt here but I don't really see her doing that, I see her becoming not worth her weight, she needs too much help in order to pay that debt. In honestly, they should just get rid of her or give her a job she can actually do without assistance.

Bella is a grown ass women so I wonder when you will start having her act like one.
Guest chapter 13 . 6/11
Why would bella call angelas TAPPED phone? Amazingly stupid! That's Bella. What would bella be doing that her clothes would smell the next day? Who gets close enough to her to even notice? People wear clothes two days in a row all the time, its honestly a complete waste of water not to. But go ahead bella, act like the worlds water supply is fucking unending!
Guest chapter 11 . 6/11
The tow truck driver, took the car...and left a bleeding woman on the side of the highway...RIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT'

And heres the kicker, edward got to her in 15 minutes. Meaning shes close to seattle. Meaning she wasnt on a long boring stretch of road, so why was she falling asleep at the wheel? Second, if edward could get there in 15 minutes, a cab could have gotten to her in what? 25 minutes? So why would she call someone she "hates"? If she really didnt like him she would have called a cab, asked the lady, or asked the tow truck driver for a ride. Having her call edward of all people lets me know that she has been lying this whole time about not liking him. Meaning that shes been lying to herself as well, so I cant believe anything she says or thinks now cause i dont know whats truth.

This all may be ok for a juvinille reader but for a more advanced reader? The mistakes are too many.
Guest chapter 10 . 6/11
Funny that Bella couldn't get a ride in with the "breakdown" company. LOL breakdown company? You mean the fucking tow truck? They ALWAYS let you ride with them if their towing your car, they don't just fucking leave you there! And anyone else find it odd that bella didn't even fucking ask? And she had that other lady there too, and she didn't ask her for a ride either. The writer apparently wanted to push Edward and bella together in the most unrealistic way possible. Cause OF COURSE she would skip over all the people that could help her that she knows, to ask Edward instead. IM ROLLING MY EYES. If she didn't want to ask any reasonable people she could have just called an ambulance.
Guest chapter 9 . 6/11
Here's what I'm thinking about the blue car. Its one of Aro's guys. I think I think this because the Cullen's following her isn't out of the realm of possibility, its actually pretty likely. But you have Bella freaking out about it, or should I say you are drawing way too much attention to it. Bella barely batted an eye that they tapped Angela's phone, so it should matter that they are following her.

And her last words in chapter 9 are "so why was I finding it so difficult to let it go?" That is because the writer is really bad at angst. Here's a writing tip, you don't have to give the story away...just let it play out!
Guest chapter 8 . 6/11
Why does Bella only assume that the phone is tapped? They could have used bugs too, her stupidity is amazing and growing at an incredible rate.
Guest chapter 7 . 6/11
Bella recently graduated isn't that right? So why is she acting like a child? Shouldn't she be able to speak intelligently in front of people? Shouldn't she be more confidant? She has earned a fucking degree after all. In my experience education make one more confidant.
Guest chapter 6 . 6/11
Is Bella really that stupid? Emmett is telling Renees story, about how they helped her out. And Bella thinks "could they be the good guys"? WAS SHE NOT PRESENT WHEN THEY FUCKING KIDNAPPED HER AT GUNPOINT? Good guys don't fucking do that!

Please grow a brain for Bella. You know what the scary thing is? I don't think her stupidity was voluntary. I think you failed in your manipulation of her and she just ended up coming off that way because you didn't think out her actions and thoughts and what effect they would have her character.
1,119 | Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »