me encantó
ojalá retomes la historia

Amazing, can’t wait for the next update

Great story, I hope you will find the time and desire to pick it up again. Thank you for sharing

Joen1801,

You’ve got a strong, attention-grabbing opening here with the flooding and the threat of Harry and his parents and everyone else dying a watery death. We jump right into the tension and suspense of a near-death experience. While Harry seems a little too young to pull off apparating three people several miles away, it does make for a good ‘miracle escape’.

Making Harry a Reyne is an excellent twist. First it bucks the cliché ‘Stark!Harry, Targaryen!Harry and Baratheon!Harry’ that we’ve already seen. Secondly, its great for story balance. As the last heir of house Reyne, and later the last Reyne, his ‘title’ is an empty one that bites him in the butt as much as it helps him.

The next few chapters with the family traveling and their interactions with the Tyrells are alright but it’s with the Daynes that this story really begins getting interesting—I love the exploration of Roynish water magic (found in a sunken treasure ship) and tourneys from squire POV: you really show the hard work involved ‘behind the scenes’ that squires do for knights. You are also phenomenal with power-balance. Harry learns magic at the same rate as he does at home and, without a wand, doesn’t have access to all the story-breaking powers that his canon-self does. While his strength-in-arms makes up for that in some ways and he could certainly dominate any single opponent using both magic and blades, he’s hardly going to destroy a battlefield on his little lonesome.

One little problem: your writing gives the impression that Ashara is the cliché ‘weak person as the archer’. Even hunting bows have draw weights of forty to fifty pounds. A proper war bow will have on average, twice the pound-pull of a hunting bow. While Ashara’s weapon of choice will emphasize different muscles, she will have to be as strong as her brother Arthur in his full plate with a great sword to handle a powerful war-bow with competence.

Love the visit to Valyria because it’s about as mystical a place as one gets in ASoIaF and we don’t get to see it in canon. The rune-enchanted armor and swords as foci sound amazing. You’ve also done a wonderful job with the horror of what the Dragonlords did with their magic through the blood sacrifice of both their slaves and later their ‘guests’ in an effort to extend their lifespans a few more feeble hours. You’ve got the self-righteous, privileged tone down perfectly. The wraith demon-ghosts are also chilling.

That said, Harry’s decision to go to The Most Dangerous Known Place, still seems a bit spur of the moment. Sure he's thought about it, but he hasn't read more about Valyria or gone adventuring anywhere except the free cities. Valyria sounds like something that should be built up to more—especially given the knowledge, dragon egg, wealth and weapons he gets from the place. Valyria in canon sounds like it would be harder than this, even with Harry Potter-style magic on your side.

I’m grateful, for once, that Harry neither wants, nor does paint the streets red with blood just to get a pointy hat or even his ‘rightful lordship’. A lot of stories have Harry waging war simply so he can be king, which is both horrific because everyone, especially the smallfolk suffer during a war, and its out of character for him. Instead you have him using his magic to fix up a dried-out holdfast (excellent idea!) and make a deal with Tywin rather than starting another rebellion. Now Tywin ‘murder two houses down to the last babe’ does not seem as reasonable of a character as you make him out to be. Harry also comes off as a little stupid or naïve for offering Brightroar for an easily broken promise—and Tywin is not known to be an honorable man. Still, it’s better than having Harry wage bloody war for his own benefit.

Overall, this story is fresh and engaging and throws enough challenges at Harry to actually make him work. I’m eager to see what happens next!

Thanks for posting,

ReconstructWriter

It's very nice

Hey! I just came upon this story and it was a great read. This won't be the most helpful review to you, but I wanted to let my appreciation be known. Thanks man!

Great fic i cant wait for the next chapter

I just found this story the other day and I absolutely love it. This is definitely one of my favorite GoT stories. At this point it looks like you aren't going to finish but I really hope you decide to one day.

you stopped writing haven't you? too bad

It seems abandoned, but I'm curious about how you would continue it. As I'm not particulary attached to any of GoT families, except Stark (I like yours Daynes too, but they are yours, non canon), I wouldn't care for many to be dead.

I'm curious about your use of bubblehead charm. How did they eat and drink in Valyria?

Superb story. Loved it. It hasn't Been updated in a while though. Really looking forward to your continuing it. Peace. Happy writing.

Brilliant! This is the best HP crossover on the site.

It would be nice if you updated this story. :)

I enjoyed this. Thank you for posting.