Reviews for Avada Flammarum
Rhiannon Starlight chapter 1 . 7/29/2005
I like your story. The part about the hand is awesome.
maura chapter 1 . 5/24/2003
bethie!~

good work! the rate your goin you'll have a new york times best seller in no time! i cant wait to read more! :)

~mc~
quirks chapter 3 . 4/15/2003
Jumpers for pants right? But the girls wear skirts and blouse though. Oh well. I'll just ask my British friend Kayleigh for help on British terms. She'll know, lol.
quirks chapter 2 . 4/15/2003
Cool chapter! I was going to start saying something about them being show offs and stuff but that's the american personality. I forgot that's how must of us Americans act. Well sorta. Here's a good website that'll help ya! (there's 3 "w" sometimes it comes up w/ one "w" and doesn't work,gr).
quirks chapter 1 . 4/15/2003
I'm not used to different characters (like 5 of them) in fan fiction stories but this one seems pretty good. Uh, the blazing hand thing is weird but it's orginial and it's nice to have a change in Harry Potter stories. It's sorta Mary-Sueish a tad bit but that won't happen unless you make the girls or something.

I would really, really, really be happy if you read one of my stories (just please not Losing You, omg, I was horrible at that story and I have to fix it!) and left a review!
torlin kerru chapter 1 . 3/11/2003
BETH! UPDATE YOUR STORY RIGHT NOW! I AM FORCING YOU TO! I'LL TELL JAKE YOUR A MAN IF YOU DONT! god that would be so funny though he might possibly find that attractive considering he comes from . tee hee anyway I wasn't kidding up date soon! I am going to kick you tomorrow!just to remind you!
Seer99999 chapter 3 . 1/19/2003
Good story. Keep up the great work.

I have posted newst chapters to my fic.

And I'am working on the lastes chapter typing it up.

Good luck with your story.

RavenChickMoon~
starsponge chapter 3 . 1/14/2003
Good chappie! I lkie how you made Draco his usual snobby self! New chappie soon, pleeease!
Miss Ewe chapter 3 . 1/8/2003
Ok, look. If you want your self and friend inserted mary-sue stories to get good happy reviews by every single person, print it out and show it to all your friends. I have the right on to say my opinion on the story. It's too bad that you see me as an evil villian person on because I give you advice. Whoop-dee-do, I corrected your mistakes. I thought about your story. I made assumptions. But I'm not sorry. You people need to learn what is about. It's to post your story for people to read, and review. A review is the point of view someone has on a story. Not everyone is going to have the same opinion as you and your friends. Not everyone is going to like it. Not everyone is going to be nice about it. I was actually not 'harsh' or 'mean' in my previous reviews. I don't know how helping someone could be 'harsh', but oh well. And don't go flooding my review boards because I gave constructive criticism to your friend. E-mail me. I don't mind talking it out. I notice things, okay? I think about the stories I review. No, I don't write books that sell in bookstores. I'm not an extremely talented writer. I just enjoy reading correct fanfiction thats not boring and has a plot thats not overused. Believe it or not, I'm trying to help you make your stories better for the audiences on .

I didn't really misquote Mr. Weasley, I made an accidental spelling mistake on 'aren't'. It happens, you know.

'Ewe' means a female sheep. It's an inside joke..

Congradulations on your full, ruby red lips and pale skin.

Thank you,

Miss Ewe.

Also, if you're insulting me for wasting my time on your friends story, you're kind of hypocritical, 'cause you're wasting your time on my review.
lupanovum chapter 1 . 1/7/2003
ok miss ewe listen up! hear me baaahhhhh(by the way what the h is up with you name?) ok i admit i havent read the story yet-my printer is printing it but your review was total sh*** no joke you have way too much time on your hands to anaylze every detail and plus you sound like a dictator correct me if im wrong but isnt an author allowed to write her own story elves can be anywhere they want and if youre so good is any of your stuff in bookstores right now this a fanfic dearie so the plots do have some resemblance to the book maybe you need to get a therapist, hon, becuz last time i chekked constructive critisicism meant helping the other not telling the author what to or not to write you need to seriously chill girl and get out more too! ok i m done by the way magnolia cant wait to read your story ttyl
Blyss325 chapter 2 . 1/7/2003
First of all, this is a kick-ass story. Go Magnolia!:D second of all, definately miss ewe was really harsh! i totally agree with Erin on this one. you're supposed to be a little bit CREATIVE, not just follow whatever the stories say. duh! ahh just thought I'd support magnolia, keep writing! btw...isn't an ewe a pig? i'm just sayin...
torlin kerru chapter 2 . 1/6/2003
ok I have a note for miss ewe I am a friend of the person who wrote this fic and I have some things to say and i am going to try very hard not to cus because you really pissed me off.

first of all

I am erin, the author modeled her character after me and I do have black hair and pale skin and if i do say so myself i have full lips and most peoples lips have a redish tint to them at at least mine do maybe your lips are thin and white but mine aren't and it wouldn't really matter any way because..pay attention now... ITS. A. STORY. did i write slow enough for you. hear it is again in case you did not catch it. ITS A FRICKIN STORY. and my friends do call me snow white. for your information

onto my next point

who cares if the american-girl-and-her-friend-go- off-to-hogwarts plot is overused if you think it is overused why don't you not read them. also each story is different I have only read one other one that was the "american-girl-and-her-friend-go off-to-hogwarts" and it wasn't anything like this one

also

who died and made you jk rowling

how the hell do you know if there are no elves in harry potter world maybe there are maybe they are all really elves but no one told you i sure as hell wouldn't tell you. maybe they all have pointy ears but jk rowling forgot to mention it, and isn't the word elf in the phrase house elf, oh my gosh like totally amazing the word "elf" maybe you should write a bitchy letter to jk rowling and tell her that elfs belong in middle earth.

also

personally i agree that people should critique and I feel that people who only ask for good comments are hypocrites but i feel that you went too far and that you were a bitch about it

also i feel

that you have a stick up your ass about being totally correct and to the book in everthing. this site is supposed to be about "unleash your imagination and free your soul" (it says that near the header thing if you want to check)

you were acting like a know it all and it wasn't attractive. for instance do you actually know if hogwarts is in scotland where does it say that? or if there are only five magical people in columbus or that there would only be one school in the us and one in canada

also in all your efforts to be correct to the book (or rather stuff that you made up in your head because none of that stuff was in the books) you misquoted arthur weasley when you were talking about floo powder

basically it doesn't matter anyway because the author can write whatever the hell she wants this is her story If we didn't stray at all from the books then we would just be re writng all of the books over again which would be really stupid.

but I don't know maybe you do that in you spare time.

and I am purposefully going to put some nonsense crap in my fanfic just to piss you off. hell i might even write one about an american girl who goes off to hogwarts with her best friend wouldn't that be original

that was humor by the way the part about it being original in case you didn't notice because I think when the author wrote that "she knew the suspense was killing you". she was joking but I wouldn't expect you to recognize humor

your just like percy

"Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy" that was a CORRECT quote from ron.

anywho must dash enough damage done here for one day and I do hope you'll write me a return message. I'll check and see if you do.

ps. I really enjoyed the fan fic

pss. I think that whole mary sue thing is immature

i know what it means

pppsssppsspsps. I amgoing to tell the author tomorrow but I'm sure she has already figured it out

pppppppsssssssppsspsps. she probably used her imagination

to figure it out but since the only imagination you have is thinking of how to piss people off or make harry and draco be gay lovers im sure you wouldn't understand
torlin kerru chapter 3 . 1/6/2003
omg beth that was sooo good (this is steph) I love how you made me erin that is sooooo awesome. but how come you get draco and I got crabbe and goyle huh jeez thanks a lot no i am just kidding your story is sooo awesome and i really hope you write more and soon i love how you bitched everyone out at the end of chapter two it was sooo something you would do which makes sense because you obviously did it I think the girls should get detentions for there uniform because mrs.m would give us a detention if we shortened our jumpers by a foot ummm yeahh and it would be like a thong it would be sooo short ok bad image (people in our school wearin nothing but thongs!-sick) anywho yeah this is really long and it really will only make sense to the author soo if any one else reads it you might be slightly confused well i love it sooo bye I will see you in school tommorrow (idk how to spell that)

but anyway
Miss Ewe chapter 2 . 1/4/2003
Hey there.

Sorry I was a bit... extravagent in my review... 1. Umm what do you mean the suspense was killing me?

2. Well thats what alot of people do. But as this is a place for fanfiction writers to post their stories for others to read and review, the readers are allowed to post their opinions and criticism in a review. I give constructive criticism. If you don't know the difference between constructive criticism, an opinion, and a flame, you should look at The Evil Old Woman's bio. I was not flaming your story, or giving just an opinion. I was trying to help by posting my thoughts on your story, and what did not work in your story, to make it faithful with the books. I was not telling you how to write your story. I stress that. I was just trying to help you make it better and more enjoyable fo everyone.

- Maybe you need to read my review more thoroughly, because I didn't say that Harry Potter was overused, I said that the "American Transfer Student" idea was overused. Which it is.

-The Floo network could not be put into a muggle's house temporarily, with the exception of Harry Potter, because he's Harry Potter AND Mr. Weasley had a friend working at the Floo Regulation Panel, so he could set it up for him. Also, Mr Weasley said, "Muggle fireplaces are supposed to be connected, strictly speaking" so no, sorry her fireplace couldn't be connected. I never said Cassy was half elven. I said her strange friend was.

- OH NO! I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING against elves. And no, contrary to popular belief, Dobby is not elven. He is a House-Elf. Totally different. Oh no.. Don't tell me you're Erin person is a half house-elf? Ahh!

- You could have said UK accent. I have the sudden urge to say "Durr" but I won't.

-So do I.

On second thought.. Maybe you need to read the books more thoroughly. Yeah.

Miss Ewe.

PS. You know what a Mary-Sue is Right?

PSS. You don't know what a Mary-Sue is, do you?

PSSS. Oh dear god.
Stefynae chapter 3 . 1/4/2003
I like this story. It's very interesting. The curse Cassy recieved is very cool. I like the fact that she has to wear a glove and the flames and all that jazz...it adds flavor to the story. And Erin being half-elf is really cool too. I don't think that Draco is being as conceded as the girls say he is. Nothing really struck me as being incredibly snobbish, but he indeed was rude. I also think your dialogue is a bit closed off and excessive. What I really mean is that 'Hello's and 'Goodbyes' can be completely avoided if you try, and it eliminates unecessary words in your story. I read that somewhere and seemed like good advice. I love how you tell your reviewers what you really think of them...that really amused me! It's funny how we ask people to give us constructive criticism when we really want to hear that they like the story. I know, I do the same thing! Good luck with the rest of this story!

***

~Stefynae

PS-Thank you for reviewing my story! And if you like elves at Hogwarts, my 'Stranger' story is just what you're looking for! That's completed and I'm writing the sequel right now, which is better than the first story. Both are better than the 'Enigma' story in my opinion, but that was my first fic though...Thanks again for your kind words!
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