Reviews for Haus der Toten
Author of Ice and Fire chapter 1 . 4/16/2020
Swinging in four years late to say, uhh... hey! :) It's been a while! I'm super sorry for just dropping off the face of the earth back in 2016 and leaving a lot of things in the lurch, including totally disappearing from reading and reviewing your SYOT - but I'm back now and starting to catch up on things, and one of the places I should really start is right here! It might be slow going, but I'm resolved to read to the end, and get you the reviews you deserve (once I actually hit a chapter where I CAN review again, thanks ff for those rules).

Even four years later I still remember one of the things that really stuck out to me about this SYOT was how much incredible effort you put into the world-building. You didn't take the easy way out of pretending no other country than Panem exists, you put a crazy-ton of thought into what exactly a world would look like with Panem as just one of the nations. The leaders of all these countries are such great, stand-out characters, but of course the Panem delegation steals the show :) I love the script format for the first chapter too, it's a unique choice that really makes the scene play out visually.

Anyways, I know this story is long over, so sorry for the review-spamming here, but I feel like I owe you one (or a lot) after totally disappearing on you, especially when from what I remember you wrote my tribute so well. Looking forward to delving back into this!
Cairn Destop chapter 35 . 4/8/2018
A bit of the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre. Our Victor cleans house as she renders vengeance. Only time will tell if the last grave, hers, will be filled.
Cairn Destop chapter 34 . 3/25/2018
Appreciate the mention. Always willing to offer suggestions but it's always the author's prerogative as to how they use such advice. Best way to improve your writings, is writing. Good luck on your next project.
Cairn Destop chapter 33 . 3/25/2018
The initial dream sequence didn't work. By segmenting it, you gave it too much reality. It proved a jolt when the next segment undid what you initially constructed. Our victor still is trapped in a game but this one is political. That can be as dangerous as the Hunger Game itself. Veiled threats and high expectations follow our Victor. What happens next would be fodder for another adventure.
Cairn Destop chapter 32 . 3/25/2018
Good way to close the game. The progress was good and you maintained a continuity as you proceeded. No backtracking or repeating segments. Switching POV did present some mental agility but keeping it first person helped. Do think the last two segments, the mentors and game master, a complete distraction that added nothing to the story. Best that all of those were eliminated. Will take time catching up with the remaining chapters.
TheAmazingJAJ chapter 34 . 3/25/2018
The story is almost over! Just to let you know, I loved every part of it, and would totally submit in a sequel. Give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done!
Titanic X chapter 34 . 3/25/2018
Aww, thanks for the shoutout! :D I appreciate it, and rest assured I'm still interested. :3 I'll be submitting a new tribute for the 100th Games, as well. :3 And hope you can still include Matthews and the Australian Confederation in the next one. :3 :D I'll see you in the next fic! :D
Radio Free Death chapter 34 . 3/25/2018
Thank you so much for the acknowledgement! I wish you luck in your future projects!
Platrium chapter 3 . 3/9/2018
Btw iinm, the title is French, but how does one pronounce it? I don't speak French, and I don't wanna butcher the title. XD

Ah, interesting prologue here. We got to know more of the vice president, the victors, a little more world building, and this is your 1st SYOT? Wow!

I'll start with the vice president. Very few stories have vice presidents, because they're usually unimportant or insignificant. I have one for my story just for world building's sake. The VP here has some kind of mindset, hehe. The baby talk reminds me of a tribute I made more than a year ago, in which the mom just took an avox's baby gravy before killing him. The... is that water or pee? Not sure if it's a cliffhanger, but I find her reaction funny too.

2 victors I see, and they're 12! I like younglings for tributes. I have 2 12-year-old victors for some reason, but a whole bunch of 12-year-old tributes because I like age diversity. I think I submitted around 15 overall? I find it surprising that they both came from a community home and won. At least a bit of their personality was shown in this chapter, and it obviously came from their backgrounds.

As for world building, we have Snow Island. I wonder what its origin is. Could it be in the blog? Or, perhaps it would be revealed more later. It's interesting though - an unofficial district. Usually, the 13th district involved in the games would be D13 or the Capitol, depending on various stories' quells and world buildings. This one here is unique, and I'm interested to learn more about it. The navy and entertainment for its industry is cool and unique as well.

Not bad for your 1st SYOT. I'm liking this so far. The writing quality lets me stick around for the 3rd chapter in a row. Pretty sure I can't read all of this in one sitting, but for someone who has a poor attention span, at least you got me reading 3 chapters so far.

I'm not sure what to expect from the tribute list, but I'll be joining the ride to find out more from each tribute!

I'll stop here for now. Hopefully, it won't take me too long (like... a month?) to read and review the next chapter. So far, I'm enjoying this. :)
Platrium chapter 2 . 3/9/2018
"Now review and get lost."
Like... if I could get lost in Chapter 3, why not? XD

Okay, so this chapter was not overwhelming for me. I like more world building as mentioned so far, and it seems that you wrote more politics, like you mentioned how much you love it.

It's nice to see how Panem has grown into a better place. The games are about to end, wow! The retro style must've been a reaction to the previous generation's style. My art professor 2 years ago said that the current style or generation is a reaction of the previous.

Overall, great world building, less overwhelming (for me). The writing style this time fit better, or maybe because I'm just so used to seeing this. I dunno. The script format last chapter felt weird, but it wasn't a bad idea to try something different. It's just risky since it's against FFN's weird rules.

It's nice that you have blogs to supplement your story. Tbh, I haven't checked them out since I'm on mobile, but I'll do it on the laptop if I remember.

Okay, I'll get lost now. XD
Platrium chapter 1 . 3/9/2018
Here I am. I made it!

Ah, script format. If it lasted this long, then maybe it's okay, but I'm not too sure. The site has weird rules with weird people reporting stuff that don't make sense.

So let's see... Not sure if confused is the word I would use, but it felt like a lot was thrown out here and I couldn't keep up to it. Oh wait, overwhelming. It was overwhelming to me. It wasn't too much information though. Probably some readers could keep up to this. There were a lot of characters introduced that I couldn't keep up with. That I'm sure. Maybe not all of them will matter later, but I guess I'll see.

This is a good chapter. It's not the usual Panem I get to read, but there's enough world building to tell where this AU has gone.

That's about it for now.
Cairn Destop chapter 31 . 3/3/2018
Another session with the mentors and some discussion of discontent within the districts. As another tribute dies, two are sent home to quiet the troubles.

Wave 7 is about to commence and our tribute has mobility problems.

The careers have broken ranks and this one has her eye on a former member of their alliance. Their fight goes outside.

This career has made a possible fatal error. The cannon didn't go boom.

With the games nearing the end, visions of the future fill this one's head.

The youngest is out for vengence and a gun seems to have our tribute but no cannon roars.

A tribute with a flare for the dramatic. Will it go off with a bang or just burst like a bubble?
TitanMaddix chapter 31 . 2/25/2018
Hey man, hi! This chapter was really great. It was nice to see my baby boy Vincent make an appearance, and damn. That two POV fight scene was just perfect. As I was reading it I had this insanely clear picture in my head of what was going on. We’ve talked about this before, but I feel detail is really one of your strong points. Particularly in your fight scenes. It isn’t something simple like, oh he slashed she blocked. Fights over in two sentences. Your writing breathes life into these characters actions and I loved it. Also, damn, little Six taking down a career. So cool haha. Keep up the work homie! Can’t wait for the next chapter :)
Cairn Destop chapter 30 . 2/11/2018
Though an interesting aside regarding life as a mentor, it does nothing to advance the story. They are a distraction to remove when editing the final version.

The feast did not go well and now he has seen a new element added to the game. His partner will find no relief.

A little help could go a long way.

We are down to ten tributes and it almost became nine.

Will a gesture of civility lead to an early demise?

Another near death experience.

And one tribute is victorious and the count is nine.

One more escapes the arena, the count is eight.
Cairn Destop chapter 29 . 2/1/2018
This segment is a prologue to the feast from the eyes of a nonparticipant. These interludes do nothing to move the story and unless you're going to either hint at some upcoming actions by the mentors, they are a distraction best edited out of the story.

We have the plans of one team, runner and sniper. Far too short a segment. Either eliminate until the table arrives or give it a major expansion. It tells me one or both are about to exit the game.

The final act of the careers as a team. Standard plan, destroy what isn't theirs and take what you can. It's the "after that" none talk about.

The mini cliffhangers are a nice touch as you shift from one POV to another.

The feast has an univited guest. The creature is the wildcard in the feast to confuse and confound the tributes. Question to ask is will its appearance help or hinder those yet to secure their gifts. Cute touch with the hologram kids.
1 - whale-like - wrong word, should be wail-like

Our tribute scores his first kill.

Vengence as our tribute takes on the prior winner. In the confusion, all seem to have forgotten the wildcard. Suggest you eliminate the last sentence of this segment as it kills all the suspense you've worked hard creating.

Destroying the gifts is as good as killing a tribute. Will have to see if that proves true or if it backfires later.

First death this chapter told from the loosing tribute's POV.

The mutt is destroyed.

The reality of the Hunger Game is finally sinking in for his partner. Her soul is bared and I'm wondering if one will be able to do what must be done to the other.

The Game isn't easy on anyone and that includes the mentors.
133 | Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »