|Reviews for Legion|
| Azaira chapter 24 . 5/12
Looking forward to more
| Azaira chapter 18 . 5/12
The overall story has been enjoyable so far
| Azaira chapter 10 . 5/11
The back and forth FPV kinda ruins the flow, especially when you do it in the middle of a scene. The reader gets used to being placed into one characters viewpoint, then is suddenly someone else, which takes time to reconcile, and can confuse people. A new chapter every change might have worked, since they are long enough, but that’s not really a good fix.
| Azaira chapter 6 . 5/10
You have multiple "speakers" within the same paragraph.
That's a BIG no-no...
You always need to separate viewpoints into new paragraphs, for far, Far, too many reasons for me to list in a simple review(confusion is the biggest, probably).
| Azaira chapter 3 . 5/10
It's good, but having multiple characters using First Person Viewpoint is Not a good writing practice. Maintain a primary character for FPV and the rest in third, otherwise you come up with various issues that tend to push away readers.
| delectablyandrogynouscomputer chapter 24 . 4/8
this is the most slice of life worm fic I've ever read and I LOVE IT
| ForgottenGrimiore chapter 24 . 4/4
Context I just binged this entire story.
I now have to say I truly enjoyed this story thus far. this story is more slice-of-life than other worm fanfic that I've seen, but you write it well enough that it doesn't matter that it isn't packed with action every other paragraph. Only thing that might be a huge pitfall is the revelation of Taylor's powers to her father. it will need to be done right or it will break a story
| ssfr chapter 24 . 3/21
Finally re-read this.
I'd love to read more.
And I was tickled pink when I realized yqu'd followed me.
| Lynxgoddess chapter 24 . 3/21
Great story. Love the world building!
| Guest chapter 24 . 3/11
Would love to see more
| Shivers82 chapter 24 . 3/8
Great chapter. I know you explained the acronym during the GED exam, but earlier you used ELA without explanation. I suggest you either swap the usage around (ELA during GED, English And Language Arts earlier) or find some other way of clearing that up. I think ELA is a regional course as many other schools I have attended or read about just call it English, Composition or Creative Writing.
Looking forward to more when time and your muse cooperate.
| Putrid chapter 12 . 2/14
Found the Ranma 1/2 reference!
| SeanHicks4 chapter 24 . 2/6
Interesting take, I hope you come back to it since it’s been a year or 2. I might have had a few comments but it’s been read over a few days and it’s getting late.
| wsbenge chapter 24 . 2/1
It was a pleasure to read this. Slow moving, but a pending juggernaut. People haven't found out much about them yet, ... and the pair of them have peeked at the PROBLEM. :)
| Zen-Aku The Spirit Of The Wolf chapter 18 . 1/23
Your characters know too much. no one knows how trigger events work yet. assault should not have been able to guess her gender from just her body language so easily if tattletale could not, taylor and amy were able to make guesses that were too accurate, etc.