|Reviews for Mark of the Winter King|
| Tracy chapter 1 . 2/19/2005
I have just rencently disovered I somehow stumbled across the site while surfing writing sites. I'm not sure really how I came upon your story but I just wanted you to know that it is excellent. The plot appears to be combined with King Arthur (movie}although I believe the movie came out after you wrote it, did it not?
Your story is very well written, aside from the odd spelling error or grammatical error when dealing with tense. Compared to some of the other King Arthur fanfics, yours comes across as being very mature which is so refreshing. I know immediately when I reading something written by someone very young. They tend to be very Mary Suish - most annoying.
I was hooked. As you wrote it some time ago now, I am assuming you will not be adding new chapters?
If so, that is too bad as I would have loved to continue reading it. You simply whet my appetite.
Anyhow, I just wanted to pass these comments on to you and hope in some form or another you are continuing to enhance an already excellent skill at writing.
Calgary, Alberta, Canada
| Nakhti chapter 1 . 6/2/2003
I'm sorry i can't be more gushing with praise- the other reviews seem to be- but i couldnt get through half a dozen paragraphs of this. Youre an intelligent writer, who has done a lot of research, but therein lies the problem. Your narrative is too dense! Your sentences are very long, with descriptive clause after descriptive clause. It lacks variation.
i felt that you were trying so hard to be thorough that it was impossible to forget myself as a reader. the talent of a story teller is to make the writing disappear. There's just too much florid description, and similes layered upon metaphors, that it alienates rather than engages. i really would like to stress that this is just my own pretentious opinion, and you shouldnt take offence. i am merely applying literary analysis to something i belive warrants the effort. as opposed to the general dross on the rest of this site.
i am also aware that its all very easy to criticise ("and fun too!" in the immortal words of Homer) but i am yet to submit my own literary baby for criticism. you have more courage than i do. i'll let you draw first blood if i post my fic!
| DNA chapter 3 . 1/9/2003
So, here's my cheezy-a**, posting in my own review box...no, not self-congrats...actually, a correction...it was NOT severus' son who legalized marriage for all strata of military personnel in the late second century (i can't believe this was such a blatant mistake)...it was the man himself, Septimius Severus-ah, well...what can you do? if it really toots anyone's sense of history that much, I can go through the headache of correcting and re-posting the last part..."GRRRRR"...;)
| Kate Swynford chapter 1 . 1/7/2003
Thank you for the wonderful story - BUT PLEASE UPDATE REDEMPTION! Or this one. Or anything. You are a wonderful talented author and this story was on the same level as the rest of them, but there is so much missing! I'd love to read about Batrades' face when he learned Max's true identity, I'd love to learn about Max becoming Artos and - last but not least - how Maximus and Nemhyn err "got together". You did a great job of capturing the atmosphere and the characters and the mention of middle-earth sent shivers down my spine. I guess you took it from the same source as JRRT but what is it? It's fascinating! I was also surprised to learn that the mistletoe tradition is that old. Could you recommend any reading you used as background material. I already found Linda Malcor's essays on the Net, and Gillian Bradshaw's novel, but I'd like to read more. You can contact me by e-mail:.
Thank you again for this marvellous story. When I first saw it on Gladiator BB, I couldn't beleive my eyes at first, and then I thought: FINALLY! I wasn't disappointed. I was as much interested in reading about Max as about Nemhyn and Batrades. Your original characters are as flesh-and-blood and psychologically convincing as the ones you inherited from Mr Scott and Co.
| Marxbros chapter 1 . 12/25/2002
DNA, awesome first chapter! I love your Maximus as well as Nemhyn, and to finally see them together is a treat. Your way of describing the landscape is truly commendable-I could see the entire scene before me, it was beautifully written. I look forward to reading the next chapter (can't today, no time, gotta go prepare xmas dinner ;-) The only thing I don't quite understand, which I suppose will become apparent later, is when exactly this takes place in relation to Master of Horse...and why you decided to post this now instead of continuing the other...in any case, it doesn't matter. I love your writing and your integration of the Gladiator characters (who, you're right, are way to good to kill off) into a new, lush narrative. Excellent. -M