|Reviews for An Affair or Something|
| User 627 chapter 11 . 5/28
I know I'm late to the party, but I do have to point out something that really bother me throughout the story.
So Ruby knew that Jaune was sterile but didn't go on to tell him. With this knowledge, she went on to get inseminated artificially without so much as informing him. And you're telling me that she honestly wouldn't wonder why he would think that she cheated on him?
And we can't say that she didn't know that Jaune knew he was sterile because you mentioned that Ruby went along with her plans out of "respect" for Jaune's pride. So she was aware that he knew.
Ruby's either really careless, simple minded, or stupid in here. Or a combination of the three. Any kind of common sense would see in hindsight that her partner would raise a lot of suspicions and questions when they're well aware they are sterile that their wife somehow got pregnant.
Truth be told, the decision of the fact that Jaune's kids weren't really his own felt like a last minute decision to add more drama to the story. It's a turning point so there really has to be some care on what plot twist is thrown along the way. And sure, it worked on increasing the tension and drama, but at the cost of making Ruby look entirely like an idiot...and unjustified one at that.
| Rorksen chapter 11 . 3/22
A good 'story'. But I feel like the structure massively limits the quality. I barely cared about the characters so events had a lot less impact than they could have.
| Someone chapter 11 . 2/10
This not-story has the best emotional realism and the most true-to-form characters out of all the stories on this website (and some actual novels I’ve read). Gripping and moving, unexpectedly well done. The final chapter especially made my writer’s heart burst. It’ll be a long time before I find anything this masterful again.
| K9 the First chapter 11 . 1/26
I feel the most for the kids. Children often suffer the worst in a divorce due to feeling they are somehow responsible things have gone pear-shaped. And what's worse is, in this case, they kinda are. Well, they're going through a phase like all kids... It's just that circumstances have escalated the ramifications. I'm getting an urge to write out a scene, but nothing from the summary: just that, while RWBY are analysing the situation, the kids are staying with Qrow and Grampa Taiyang. Qrow would be neat due to, given what we now know of him, had likely BEEN the other man in an affair or two.
I hope you don't mind if I do get around to it.
As for the Dear Jaune... I say Ozpin. Not out of malice, but because he's seen the writing on the wall, and wants to get them talking before things go to far. And like it's implied with many of his plots, things didn't go QUITE like he'd hoped. The result was what he was aiming at, but the timing was off.
That's my headcanon and I'm sticking to it.
| Love Reading 3.14 chapter 11 . 9/24/2017
*Raises hand up timidly*
I-I'd like to read a story about a bad marriage and it getting worse.
Seriously though, I think I'd like to see this story written out. Or I would if I hadn't read this already. It is possible to enjoy a story while knowing what's going to happen, but I feel like it would be a lot less fun, especially since you even give your notes at the end and the reasoning behind your choices. Still, maybe after my memory of this has faded a bit I'd like to see it, but you probably still won't write it.
I'd also like to say what a great story this is, even though it's in a different format from most. Even without the dialogue I felt something, and that's saying something for me. It would have been really easy to choose a villain in the story, and I'm glad that you didn't. Everyone is somewhat at fault, no one is blameless, but no one deserves all the blame either.
I don't really know why, but I like sad stories like these (which it was until the end, which as you said was more bittersweet).
| oswal chapter 9 . 9/11/2017
Arkos for life
| Skykitsune chapter 11 . 7/28/2017
Even if it's not fully written it still hits almost uncomfortably close to home. Didn't detract anything from it though, very good work...
| S058 chapter 11 . 7/15/2017
I have to admit, when I saw the summary in your profile, I was... leery of touching it. I've been burned in the past by authors who suddenly go from "Good author" to "Full on crazypants McGee", with some stories, and the summary alone kinda wasn't that intriguing at first. Well, enough to override what appeared to be a bashing fic.
Then one day, I figured "WTH, could be fun", and gave it a shot. And I got the best damn balanced and mature manner on relationships, possible affairs, and a nice happy ending (Except for P-Money, alas, shame she didn't get a happy ending).
Keep up the calm and mature work, heck, if you want, I kinda have a idea for a story or two. Namely, about the SDC, hopefully handling it in a calm and mature manner, unlike the fanbase's views of "SDC pure evil, WF are just misguided evil"...
| Timetraveling Author chapter 11 . 5/15/2017
I've been re-reading this for a while now struggling to pin down why exactly I disagree with the ending. On many levels, outlined here, it's perfect. Good conclusion, good reasoning, a good compromise between Ruby's life and what Jaune wanted from his life. But it wasn't until I saw the WBY that it clicked for me.
Relationship wise, this is really good balanced writing. Both misunderstand each other, both are equal to blame in their handling of the situation and both intimately don't want to give up this life they've put effort into. (despite the pain.) You can see it in the outright stated themes and in the plot developments in earlier chapters.
However the thing that is not explored is simple support structures and external relationships. Ruby has team RWBY. She has her hunter colleagues who give her support, feedback, and reinforce her decisions on Jaune. As Jaune says, they're on her side and are HER friends, not HIS and not THEIR. Then there is Jaune who, for a time, has Pyrrha. Which is then forced to end. There's no JNPR or heck, even just regular friendships for Jaune. Which is just the smallest detail to tip me into the "He should have left with Pyrrha". It's an odd power dynamic detail that seems to nag at me a lot more than any of the other emotionally exhausting details in previous chapters. Sure he may not have been part of a Team in Beacon, but for Jaune to basically renounce his chance of a social group in favor of saving a relationship...it seems... Off to me.
Which is weird because I do enjoy the Lancaster ending. I genuinely enjoy the end point. I just disagree on how we got there. Or do I? I'm not so much critiquing the journey but more the... gah. Words.
Okay. I'm just going to type how I saw the ending play out and maybe you or I can pin down what I think that ending has that this one lacks. At the very least, I can get this out of my system and work on writing my own trashy sad RWBY fanfic.
This would have taken place after a variation of the name change/divorce proposal with the express statement that Jaune was going to be gone for 2 weeks before they expected her decision.
I see Jaune if not going with Pyrrha then at least stepping back from the relationship with Ruby to do more self reflection and just let things sit for a while to think it over as opposed to making a rash decision after a very emotionally intense couple of days. He spends that time getting to know Ren and Nora (or hell, anyone that's not RWBY) and reflecting on things. Some of it's good as he starts socializing without alcohol, while other times it's bad as hes haunted by both his guilt and anger at what's transpired. During both Nora and Ren both empathize and call him out of bullshit as they get to know the man whose bewitched their famous friend. After arguing with Pyrrha over something (nothing specific, just an argument that ends sour to showcase that they're not a "perfect match" and would also need to work on their relationship), Jaune goes for a walk in the city where he comes across Ruby and their Roses. Ruby's ragged, both by dealing with the upset children for the week and wrestling with her choice regarding which papers to chose.
They make awkward small talk as the kids fumble about with good intentions and Ruby and Jaune outright not knowing how to handle each other. It gets to the point where the kids run off to get food leaving Ruby and Jaune to wait alone at table/bench. They make awkward small talk before the conversation turns to just a frank and tired conversation of their thoughts of the whole thing. How Ruby felt when she heard Jaunes feelings, how Jaune felt when they fought. They talk about how the relationship has made the both of them feel as they go farther and farther back to when it was the superhero love story.
Jaune remakes that one of their meetings/rescues was here on this bench. Ruby and Jaune both breakdown from general stress and remembering how simple and straightforward their relationship used to be. Hugging each other as their children run up, red cotton candy roses falling from their hands as they join the family hug out. At the entrance of the park, Pyrrha turns and walks away, out of their lives, etc.
An no other change for the most part. Maybe a mention of a visiting Ren in the Epilogue but otherwise there is not a single thing I'd change from what you wrote/planned out. I don't know why, I don't know what about it, but for some reason this was the ending I was looking for when reading this story.
It's odd because I even said that I wanted a more balanced friend group for Jaune but most of "my" ending is just a different setting for your final scene. No idea why, but this is apparently how I wish your story ended even though it's not even really related to how it ended. Opinions, confusing stupid little things.
| Qriiz chapter 10 . 5/6/2017
Well, I'm actually an Arkos shipper, but not really surprised with the ending, in the tag, Ruby before Pyrrha, duh.
Suspected it in the beginning, certain of it half way of reading, when I realize the tone of this story is similar to Common Criminal.
This story also gave that weird aftertaste that's unique to you, both satisfaction and disappointment, rightness and wrongness that I can't really descript in word.
I like the dose of realism, but don't like how every single thing would lead the main character to lowest point possible only in the end with single step in the right direction in the right time would turn everything all right.
Your story is great, maybe perfect even, but there's wrongness in it that make me stop to say that I like it, that when I asked whether I like it or not, I won't know what to say.
| RareNyte chapter 4 . 2/4/2017
Really love your creative style of writing all throughout this fic. You present your own unique storytelling that enhances your simple yet brilliant premise that takes advantages of the characters provided in the source material in ways unimaginable to most writers who stay within the fighting students dynamic. You really utilize the home life and later life struggle aspect to a tee and no character feels out of place despite the clear gap in subject matter between this and canon. I haven't finished entirely yet but still wanted to convey my admiration for this work.
| chaossaurus chapter 11 . 11/1/2016
I actually really enjoyed the synopsis style of this. It forced me to imagine the situation and make my own opinions, only to go through a few chapters to then find a twist to prove it wrong. It might even work better this way as you don't get in anyone's head so can't see their thought process. I just did the quick read through so when you mention Ruby bringing up flower language I was confused. I see you bring it up in the post comments, but I can't remember if it was brought up in the story itself, which means it means as much to me as it did to Jaune. Whether that was on purpose or accident (I'm thinking accident as you mentioned you would have been using it more in the novelization) I thought it was well done.
I'm sure I have more great things to say about this, but nice job. And those story threads without answers, well that just makes art reflect life rather than story.
| 2000redred chapter 10 . 10/31/2016
In chapter 8, 9, and 10, you managed to make me cry. Way to go.
| The Tambourine Man chapter 1 . 10/26/2016
In the past, I've read stories that were paced far too quickly for anything to have any meaningful impact. I criticized them by saying they sounded more like a story summary than an actual story. After reading this, I feel I was being too harsh on story summaries. Somehow, even being in an incomplete state and being far darker writing than I typically prefer, this made for a very compelling read. I kept wanting to see what would happen next and how things would unfold. A few scenes- Yang's verdict on whether or not Ruby was lying and Ruby's final decision- had me on the edge of my seat. You did a very good job of sticking to your internal rules, and made a good drama without anyone really being the villain. I suppose the only major problem I have with it is the "Dear Jaune" letter- it becomes a pretty big question that can't be answered without breaking your rules.
And on an analytical note, I can think of one very good reason why staying with Ruby was the better option: Human nature is such that we tend to fall back on what we have done before. by staying with Ruby, talking over their problems, and working together to establish a better life, Jaune (hopefully) learns to be more open with Ruby, and give her the benefit of the doubt instead of projecting all his insecurities. He has a better chance of resolving future problems before they get so bad. If he leaves with Pyrrha, he establishes a far worse precedent; give up on a troubled relationship and find a new one. Though, admittedly, I am biased towards Lancaster.
| Meraviglia chapter 11 . 10/11/2016
I've read so many RWBY fics that I am out of stories to read, Honestly, if it had interested me, then I have already read it. But where does your fic come in? Well, it's my favorite. Out of the dozens I've read, and the small handful I've reread, this is the only story I consistently reread. That is not to say it's flawless. The barebones story style is something that annoys me more and more each time. This not being because it is badly written, but rather because I'm so interested in the plot I want that meaty story to sink into. I hate copied story plots, but I hope to see the day when there is another drama filled Jaune marriage fic.
Great story, hope to see a bunch more!