Reviews for ICE ALLIANCE: A Jelsa Fanfic (now set AFTER Frozen 2)
Rehema chapter 28 . 6/10/2024
I am not exaggerating when I say that this is one of your most profound chapters in this story. Truly, the substance of this chapter and this story so far could easily be a young adult—adult novel or novella, maybe. This is a very deep dive into childhood neglect, mental health, and trauma— none of which could be adequately handled with nuance in a Disney movie. I’m really impressed by this chapter.

I know that the Frozen canon does massive time skips from the girls’ childhood to adolescence to young adulthood, leaving a large amount to fans’ imaginations.

Everything you have imagined here is perfectly believable for Elsa’s character, in my opinion. You have painted an extremely tragic and believable portrait of a neglected child who was taught that she was a danger to herself and society because of her powers over ice and snow— a child so alone and desperate for hope that she latched on to a story about a supposedly mythological being and obsessively researched him, praying that he would show up and help her. And as a guardian of children, this would understandably horrify Jack and turn a lot of his rage against her parents, who essentially committed child neglect in their attempts to “do the right thing and help her” …. which is also tragic in a way because it does seem, from the Frozen canon, that they thought they were doing the right thing for her— when in reality, their methods were hurting her more.
Rehema chapter 27 . 6/9/2024
Wow… these two truly are dorks. In the best way possible. I wasn’t sure how to feel initially aboit Jack’s babbling, as it clearly makes Elsa uncomfortable. But I suppose he is head over heels for her and doesn’t have a filter so whatever pops into his head comes out of his mouth… and she is even more discomfited than the average person perhaps would be because of her lonely history and being unused to being subjected to so much… well, romantic adoration.

You have managed to make their respective interests in snow quite reflective of their individual personalities! That’s a very creative take on it. I would never have thought of it that way— Jack enjoys white out blizzards, and Elsa prefers studying individual snowflakes for their intricate patterns. That actually fits quite well. Again, you have taken something that seems to be treated as a taboo reason for their ship and turned it into something quite deepwell thought out.
Rehema chapter 1 . 6/9/2024
What a beautiful chapter! The absolute BEST paragraph—which captures the potential of these two to bond over their shared abilities—is the one where Elsa is watching Jack spinning and dancing on the table as he conducts the snow dancing and swirling around him. She even thinks of him as an “angelic, dazzlingly radiant young man” in that moment, which is a simultaneously romantic and classy way of describing someone. Honestly, if anything captured the ethereal beauty of these two artists bonding over their shared powers over icesnow, it was that breathtaking moment.

I will again praise your ability to skillfully and compellingly write ElsaJack’s friendship. The jokes, the playfulness, the mischief—then suddenly, the spur of the moment heart-to-heart conversations. It is written so, so naturally and believably—it’s astounding to me that anyone could foolishly believe that the shipping of these two is “just because they have ice powers.”

No, you have built up and fleshed out their friendship with DEPTH and nuance. They laugh together, tease and play with and mock each other, push each other to new heights, and catch each other when one of them falls. They switch easilybelievably from goofing off one moment to having a deeply emotional conversation the next. Magnificent work on your part.

Minor critique—the word “jolted” is also getting quite overused, so could mix it up with words or phrases like, “Startled, looked askance, taken aback, did a double take,” and so on so forth.
Rehema chapter 26 . 6/9/2024
What a beautiful chapter! The absolute BEST paragraph—which captures the potential of these two to bond over their shared abilities—is the one where Elsa is watching Jack spinning and dancing on the table as he conducts the snow dancing and swirling around him. She even thinks of him as an “angelic, dazzlingly radiant young man” in that moment, which is a simultaneously romantic and classy way of describing someone. Honestly, if anything captured the ethereal beauty of these two artists bonding over their shared powers over icesnow, it was that breathtaking moment.

I will again praise your ability to skillfully and compellingly write ElsaJack’s friendship. The jokes, the playfulness, the mischief—then suddenly, the spur of the moment heart-to-heart conversations. It is written so, so naturally and believably—it’s astounding to me that anyone could foolishly believe that the shipping of these two is “just because they have ice powers.”

No, you have built up and fleshed out their friendship with DEPTH and nuance. They laugh together, tease and play with and mock each other, push each other to new heights, and catch each other when one of them falls. They switch easilybelievably from goofing off one moment to having a deeply emotional conversation the next. Magnificent work on your part.

Minor critique—the word “jolted” is also getting quite overused, so could mix it up with words or phrases like “Startled, looked askance, taken aback, did a double take, started back, jumped up” and so on.
Rehema chapter 25 . 6/9/2024
One of the best moments in this chapter was Elsa building that beautiful stairwell and snow fort, and Jack popping up behind her to remind her that HEY, YOU FORGET I CAN FLY?

And honestly, this is another example of how the haters of this ship who claim that JackElsa’s ice powers are an invalid basis for shipping are ridiculous and wrong. While the ice powers aren’t the ONLY basis for this ship, the shared skills and experiences and strength that come with having supernatural abilities can be great for bonding. Elsa is learning that she doesn’t have to hold that piece of herself back for fear of injuring Jack.
Rehema chapter 24 . 6/6/2024
Very nice! A sweet little chapter where Jack & Elsa are bonding and hanging out on Elsa’s intellectual turf! Once again, you are weaving and spinning a cozy, comfortable friendship & rapport between them.

As usual, you have written their relationship very believably, and explored the depth & nuance of each character as a fleshed out person. Just the right amount of playfulness & mischief blended with a willingness to help his friend on Jack’s side—and just the right amount of sass and teasing on Elsa’s side mixed in with her diligence and seriousness.

My usual feedback on writing:
- when you write “determinately,” do you actually mean “determinedly”?
- there’s a few places with inconsistent tenses, like the following: “Stopping in front of the row and looking up, Elsa daintily stepped out of her icy high heels, then hiking up her skirt and scrambling up the rungs”
- That should be “then hiked up her skirt and scrambled up the rungs” to stay consistent with the “stepped out of her icy high heels.”
- some places where writing could be simplified—like “he looked into Elsa’s face” is a bit unnecessary, in my opinion. But to each their own.
Rehema chapter 23 . 6/6/2024
Before I forget — the words “stammered” and “choked” are getting quite overused here. From a writer’s standpoint, might be helpful to vary the verb choices.

Otherwise—I feel like you captured both Jack & Elsa’s respective awkwardness with romance and social contact PERFECTLY. Elsa is already very self conscious and nervous with day to day interaction, with her only close relationships being Anna, Olaf, and Kristoff as her brother in law. It makes sense that she already feels unsure of what she’s doing and how to handle romantic & sexual feelings, and she feels even more off kilter here.

Jack—oooooh, Jack. I think you have done a good job walking/writing that knife’s edge of Jack saying something wildly inappropriate & sexually forward, but with the understanding that he’s not predatory or dangerous—just a mischievous dunderhead who was isolated for 300 years and doesn’t always realize that YOU CAN’T SAY THAT, JACK.

I think the chapter ended on a nice note, though. With both of them reconciling in a way and walking off to the library so that Elsa can show Jack what running a kingdom can look like.
Rehema chapter 22 . 6/6/2024
My favorite part of this chapter is Jack standing by Elsa’s bedside and talking about how amazing he thinks she is. As well as North showing up and recognizing the courage and kindness Jack shows towards Elsa, and calling him gallant.

I also love the small homage to the whole “you can’t marry someone you just met” moment from Frozen when Jack says, “I’m not going to say I’m in love with you, since it’s only been 2 days.”
Rehema chapter 20 . 6/6/2024
So not gonna lie… I find it a little hard to believe that Elsa would suddenly want to make out all of a sudden.

Like, I know she’s not the most relationship/friendship-savvy person, and that she is self conscious and nervous in social situations… but even though she’s new to these feelings and is probably confused too, I still think this degree of emotional lability is a little much for her.

But other than that—

“YOU'RE HERE TO FILL THE EMOTIONAL VOID IN MY LIIIIIIIIFE!" he squealed.

"Oooooh! I've always WANTED a strong, positive male role model to guide me as I navigate the dangers and road blocks on the path to maturityyyyy!… We need to go bond now. Did you know that, in Canada, father-deprived children make up 72% of teenage murderers?”

My good author, your Olaf STOLE THE SHOW. These are INCREDIBLE LINES. Including his naive crack about redefining morality based on the situation, which I didn’t paste here. But omg, your Olaf is ON POINT and has the BEST dialogue in this chapter!
Rehema chapter 21 . 6/5/2024
This chapter was spectacular. Just beyond spectacular. Phenomenal.

Before I rave and rave and rave about your beautiful work, just a few small things:
- the word "blurted" is getting overused, and there's a few areas where a sentence has inconsistent tenses within it. For example, there's a line "Jack Frost carefully placed his staff on the ground, then leaning against a wall and sliding down next to her." I think it would make more sense if it was "Jack Frost carefully placed his staff on the ground, then leaned against the wall and slid down next to her."

But anyway, onto the positives-THIS WAS ONE OF YOUR BEST CHAPTERS, AND THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING. I am NOT exaggerating. Just so I don't devolve into incoherent babbling, let me use bullet points:
- It is really difficult to weave sexual assault into a story like this with sensitivity, and you did it extremely well. Some people who have suffered sexual assault definitely react the way Elsa is reacting-the shock, trying to process and make sense of it, minimizing it to herself, blaming herself as if she did something wrong-all of that was very realistic. Sad, but realistic.

- I especially LOVE that JACK, as a man, is strongly reinforcing that NO, it is NOT your fault, do NOT blame yourself. It was NOT what you were wearing-he is smashing victim-blaming to bits and I love it. It's nice to see that coming from BOTH men and women, showing that everyone is on the same side against this evil.

- Jack's compassion, integrity, and sense of duty absolutely SPARKLES in this chapter. It SHINES. He is beyond amazing-so empathetic, gentle, kind, and caring. He is written PHENOMENALLY. Even the way he talked about the foulness he's seen in the world and how he tries to help children through it... just, WOWOWOWOW. His heart and soul simply shine. He's just WONDERFUL when he's being a gentle, kind, caring man. AMAZING WRITING OF CHARACTER!

- And I have been meaning to say this-I LOVE how your story strongly emphasizes the friendship between Jack and Elsa. Even though it's only been two days-and you've appropriately emphasized the "you can't marry a man you just met" lesson, haha-you're weaving a flowing, natural dialogue and rapport between Jack and Elsa. I can feel them becoming more and more comfortable and easy with each other. Friendship is an excellent basis for developing romantic love, especially for these two. You've done a beeeeeaaauuuutiful job weaving their friendship.

Gonna throw some more shade at the haters who whine that "people only ship these two because of their ice powers and good looks." No, fools. It's WAAAAAY more than that, as every chapter of your story has shown. And, I'm gonna stop raving now.
Rehema chapter 19 . 6/5/2024
… oh my God, poor Elsa. :( Poor Elsa! I don’t have enough swear words in the book for that DEMON King Edvin! He’s a foul rapist, that disgusting excuse for a human being—god I hope he gets brutally punished.

That was quite an insidious set up. We all know Elsa could easily beat him in a fight using her elemental powers. One would initially wonder why she didn’t defend herself using her powers—and you gave the answer right there. Edvin essentially held her kingdom, hostage by threatening to use her self-defense as an excuse for war. It’s so insidious…! Yet incredibly believable—because threatening people she cares about is the only thing that would stop Elsa from acting in self-defense.

As much as I love Jack coming to her aid, I really would love to see Kristoff kick Edvin’s ass. Really, truly, I can only imagine how livid Kristoff would be.

Minor critiques regarding word choice: “Gritted” and “shook” aren’t really used as conversational verbs, as far as I know. Like, from what I know, one can “speak through gritted teeth,” but I don’t think one can “grit out words.” If that makes sense. I thought those two words got used a lot.

Last thought: I wonder If they would have enough grounds to imprison Rolfe for treason. Not only did he and his cronies on the council call suitors without Elsa’s permission, one of those suitors threatened her and there were no guards around to defend her, Which speaks of negligence. Honestly, Rolf ought to go to prison.

Anyhow, another intense and well thought out chapter. Eager for the next ones!
Rehema chapter 18 . 6/4/2024
Good choice, Jack. Those men—and their rapist king, especially—are foul, disgusting demons who deserve to roast in fire… or at least be impaled by ice, if that’s your & Elsa’s battle plan. Can’t go wrong with either.

But bless Jack. His mischievousness & screw ups aside, he is a good man with a gentle & caring heart. One can tell by how angrily he reacted to even the suggestion of such atrocity. He is a good friend for Elsa, and I do love the emphasis the story places on friendship as a basis for eventual romantic love.
Rehema chapter 17 . 6/4/2024
Oh… oh that was painful to read. Ouch. Poor Jack…

I am eager to see how he & Anna reconcile, since Kristoff —after threatening to punt him out of a window—seems to have come around and forgiven him.
Rehema chapter 15 . 6/4/2024
That was extremely clever— how you set up the introduction between Jack and Kristoff, with the basis, being Kristoff’s upbringing amongst the mountain trolls and his knowledge and belief in mythology. Pretty good set up, and excellent delivery.
Rehema chapter 16 . 6/4/2024
This is a fascinating exploration into Kristoff! We don’t see his one on one interactions with Elsa much in canon, and it’s quite interesting to see him in the ferocious bear-protective brother role! Amazing—and quite scary, really. Kristoff being angry is like seeing a rampaging grizzly bear.

It’s also interesting to observe that despite his knowledge of mythology, Kristoff does not appear to be afraid of Jack at all. The line “who knew the Spirit of Winter could be such a complete and total moron” was a hilarious one liner. Also followed by Kristoff’s amusement that he is giving a childhood winter mythological being relationship advice…
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