|Reviews for Clockworks: The Times of the HG Wells Collection (prequels)
| Anonymaustrap chapter 5 . 11/14/2015
This is a nice setup for preparation for a travel back in time - 1699, to be exact, which is very interesting. I do like how the Tellarite sports crawler gives the actual date, and I wonder if perhaps sports 'television' in the year 3000 will be even *more* sophisticated.
I notice you call the hair regrowth gel equivalent to Asian Plumb sauce. I have always heard it called Chinese Plum Sauce, and I'm not sure if one or the other is more correct. A google search revealed both are actually used!
I like the description of Uncle Dave, and his eyebrows and ear hair. I also like how the regrowth gel has a downside of sucking the proteins out of the body. I imagine there are some rather gruesome beautician accidents!
It's not every piece of fan fiction that gets to reference a grosgrain ribbon! Kudos! I also like how you make it clear that not every temporal incursion is excitement and adventure and that this is a mundane observation of William Penn. It adds a level of 'slice of life' to the story.
| Anonymaustrap chapter 3 . 11/14/2015
Hello, Anonymaustrap here again to review another chapter.
So 3088? That's six hundred years outside of anything considered latest, so you give yourself a nice buffer to play with. Amazingly, baseball has survived for all those hundreds of years! Hooray!
So the summary of how O'connor and Jhasi come across very natural and free-flowing. It establishes relationships very quickly and keeps things moving. You also quickly establish Jhasi doesn't understand baseball simply by how she dresses. Well done! Though I'm not sure why Rally Caps are out of the question.
I'm struggling to determine whether newly-familiar works as an adjective for me. I do see what you're getting at but my brain kind of stumbled over the words. Freshly-familiar? I'm not sure.
If the Honky Tonk Angel reference is to the album of the same name, I might miss the connection to the name Josie. If her name was a play on Dolly, Loretta, or Tammy, the connection would be very clear. But, I might also be missing your reference.
I like how O'Connor obliquely uses his use of the word Darlin' as a way of saying she's not like all the other alien girls.
In the end, we're not sure if Kevin is human or not. The scales throw things off unless I missed other references, which is possible. But the imagery is nice, so his species doesn't really matter. I also realize that Jhasi is some sort of Aenar hybrid because she can see, obviously. Or the baseball game would have been very boring for her.
Well done. I look forward to reading more.
| Anonymaustrap chapter 2 . 11/13/2015
So, reviewing Chapter 2...
The travel of the recruitment is great because you start right off with a mystery, and you know it's about a recruitment, but little else, much like the character, who describes the other character in their own voice, so you don't have this jarring stop in the narration while everything is described.
I like how you wait to explain there is a competition involved, so we're exposed to little complications, bit by bit. The building has a very maze-like quality, and even some Escher-like confusion to it, with all the stairs and passageways that seem to force people to go in a particular direction
The shooting of Sven has a surreal quality to it. It reminds me of an old show called The Prisoner.
Section 31 stories can be tricky because I always thought for a super-secret organization, they sure flaunt themselves around a lot. But different Trekverses handle that differently and I did like your approach to it.
You have an image pair that doesn't seem to do anything. Is it remnants of some BBCode that didn't get removed?
| Anonymaustrap chapter 1 . 11/13/2015
Hello! Anonymaustrap here. I ran across your piece as part of the Review Lounge, Too's FlashAThon.
So first, the premise is very cute and set up to be this huge challenge or some mystical moment, which, I guess what you're describing is, but not exactly the way most people think of it. I like how you manage to incorporate how Otra's parents met in the middle of trying to potty train without it sounding like it was forced.
I also think it's cute about the book that lists all the different alien species, and I think the dialog sounds very natural and unforced. You also do a good job of explaining the Witannen, which did lead me to your website.
This also sets up a very normal family situation with a very un-normal alien species but does a very good job of making it so the reader can relate to them since they have all the same problems and their children behave very much the same as human children do.
I notice that you also use the fact he's speaking Italian and English to hint that Marco is human, though there are other hints sprinkled here and there.
| Belen09 chapter 9 . 9/25/2015
I would imagine that he has been already in mourning for those eight years . . . not only for his love, but also for himself . . . not a selfish 'love' but rather for what might have been and can never be . . .
| Belen09 chapter 8 . 9/22/2015
But that is a classic 'discourse' - Parents (even the ones who claim it isn't so) will want their children to 'be like them' and children (all of them - no exceptions) need to find their own path . . .
| Son of Whitebeard chapter 7 . 9/19/2015
nice famillal cuteness
| Belen09 chapter 7 . 9/18/2015
It makes sense . . . in a disturbed sort of way . . . I knew someone who had a pet bunny . . . if you think that cat owners can be 'gooey' - ain't nothing on 'bunny owners'! Peter Cottontail lives!
| SpinningMoreDreams chapter 7 . 9/18/2015
That is just so funny!
| Belen09 chapter 6 . 9/15/2015
(Ah yes, but some things 'are' timeless . . .) Millers were regarded with envy - not to mention the occasional 'maiden' wanting 'their corn ground' - (famous Scottish song).
| Belen09 chapter 4 . 9/8/2015
Ha, ha . . . so it begins . . .
| Belen09 chapter 3 . 9/6/2015
Wow! Human 'culture' seems to have 'spread' all over the galaxy . . . Or should I say 'contaminated' . . .
| Belen09 chapter 2 . 9/3/2015
Interesting . . . though if holographic chambers are commonplace wouldn't someone think this is possible? I saw an advertisement once in a newspaper in London for 'special forces' where the prospective agent was to explain what they were to do in a pretty outrageous situation . . .
And rebar, eh? I had a problem once where the 'lack of rebar' was the situation . . .
I want to see where you take the story!
| Belen09 chapter 1 . 8/28/2015
'Otra, don't give in! They're trying to trick you!' (Bribery works . . . but then my mother used to say that it meant you could do 'whatever' . . . I think that a little incentive never hurts. "How about a new dolly if . . .")