|Reviews for A Different HuniePop|
| Cypher DS chapter 9 . 7/9/2017
It's nice to see that your story is back in action. These introductory chapters are doing a nice job of establishing the girls' interests and personalities, but I am looking forward to getting through the remaining cast so we can see how Cole develops his relationships with these women. (I'm also really getting into Overwatch. Pretty addictive, isn't it?)
| RandomFicLover chapter 9 . 7/3/2017
Frankly I'm torn with Cole's personality. I want him to go full Pokemon and get all the girls, but I get that real life people aren't really into harems. Cole is not really your typical Anime protag, that being he's not a dense, clueless idiot in high school, so I actually like that he's being mature out of this. I just also want him to be more friendly to the girls around him. I guess as he is right now, he needs a little more protagonist nosiness, and the willingness to get closer to the other girls.
Thoughts on the story: I like it. It's cute. I just can't wait for you to get to the meat of it since this is basically the intro. I would also like the lines to be different than the in-game dialogue, since Huniepop dialogue does come off as weird. The baby questions Kyanna asked certainly doesn't seem like something a new acquaintance would just ask someone out of the blue. I think so at least.
That being said, I can't wait for the next update. I'm gonna go check out the other account while you're working on it. I didn't know you write other stuff. :D
| That Forerunner chapter 9 . 7/1/2017
My patience has finally payed off!
| FadeToBlackNinja chapter 9 . 6/29/2017
*le gasp* You updated the story! YAYAYAYAYAYA!
And now you've gotten to my favorite girl, Kyanna Delrio! One thing I like that you actually touched on is Kyanna's child. You stressed the idea of her taking care of a child and how she's been stereotyped as a slut. I'm not sure if this is going to be part of the story or not, but in general it's nice to mention. I didn't even do this in my story with Kyanna.
Though to give a critical analysis, there really isn't much of a story here. It's just Cole interacting with the girls in a way. He did a surprisingly better job with Kyanna in this story, but in general there's not too much that grabs me in terms of story or plot. I'd recommend building to some kind of over-arching story that'll keep readers interested instead of just going by the game's formula in fanfiction form. But then again you're losing interest in Huniepop, so I can understand if this falls off, plus you've had an amazing run! Over 143 FAVES? I'm jealous! LOL
BTW (Shameless plug incoming) you should check out my personal Huniepop fanfiction i'm still updating. I just got through Aiko's relationship. ;)
| Guest chapter 8 . 12/19/2016
When's the next update?
| An Honest Man chapter 1 . 8/20/2016
Im stuck. I really like how you write the girls and make them as likable as they are in the game but the problem is that cole is near unbearable tbh. The guy acts nothing like an actual man, more like an 8 year old who thinks all girls have "cooties". I can see why someone wouldnt want to date a pornstar. Fine. I can see why someone wouldnt want to date an asshole like Audrey (still my fav, but realistically speaking she'd be hard to deal with). Also fine. However, I absolutely cannot understand why any man in their right mind would friendzone a normal person like Lola who was nothing but polite and cool. I hate Nikki in game, but in this story she seems like a cool chick (less boring than her canon counterpart) , yet she still gets rejected. What the actual fuck? With the way shit is going now we know hes going to reject Kyanna as well for no good reason along with Tiffany and Aiko. I know you're just waiting until Beli is introduced so that Cole can get with her (its rather obvious) but honestly this guy is lame. Poor Kyu is going to fuck up her record as well. If the plot twist at the end is that Cole is actually gay (influenced by gay parents and whatnot) THEN id understand despite the fact that his wet dream about tits would contradict this, id be fine with it even though the story would basically be a huge waste of time. I feel like if you rewrote this story (im not asking you to, that'd be rude and outrageous) with a likable protagonist it would be the best huniepop fanfic on the site, but for now it will have to be one of those stories that i read for the side characters. But yeah, i read the whole thing and i give it an average rating for reasons stated earlier, If you updated id keep reading but jesus christ Cole drags this story down HARD.
| Madam Scarlet Heart chapter 8 . 7/14/2016
jesse is ment to be a whore, more or less, but i guess back story is alright
| FadeToBlackNinja chapter 8 . 6/24/2016
Huh, I actually like the elements used in this chapter. The shame of being a pornstar, The feeling of being bullied or embarrassed of your mother being in porn. Those are great elements too use, but I feel as though the chapter rushed them too quickly. Everything happened so incredibly fast, It gave no time for everything too breathe, no room for the elements too grow. But then again this is a special one-shot chapter, so it's okay for now. I actually like this one! It gives me inspiration too use In my own Huniepop story,which I will be writing very soon. BTW Can I use Cole Baker as inspiration for a character I'm going too introduce? Let me know by sending me a review! Thanks! ;3
| FadeToBlackNinja chapter 7 . 6/24/2016
I'm beginning too get a little tired of Kyu & Cole's relationship. Plus this story isn't really going anywhere. Cole keeps friendzoning people. And not getting any dates. It seems like he's litterally just talking too these girls and not doing anything with them. I'm sorry, but this is dissapointing. I'd recommend the story actually go somewhere instead of "Cole meeting a girl and then striking out because his too boring & mature too actually consider a girl more than a friend." Develop his character with one girl, or make him have multiple experiences with the girls, or something.
| FadeToBlackNinja chapter 1 . 6/24/2016
So far i'm interested, but I can't help but feel that Kyu here is not only annoying, but extremely unreasonable. Hopefully this will get better, and I'm also hoping too see more development with Kyu's character. What i'm interested in is how Cole will react or interact with several of the girls in Huniepop. Cause this will play out just like Huniepop. However a bad thing I think this chapter (And probably alot of other chapters) suffers from is quoting lines directly from the game. I'd say use that sparingly, not all the time.
| 13TheAce chapter 8 . 5/17/2016
Wow, this a great way to show a different side of Jessie. I remember seeing she liked Christmas stuff, but this takes her love for her family to a whole new leve. This was great. I can't wait for more!
| StevieBond chapter 8 . 5/11/2016
Well I tell you what, I had something familiar in mind for this, but yours is much better than what I could come up with. I really like what you've done with Cole's personality, he and Kyu are great at bouncing off each others in terms of conversation. :)
I think in the end, I may eventually do something like this, but maybe not for a while.
| PekkasandBJ chapter 8 . 5/9/2016
Well I've read your story and here's my opinion.
You have something awesome going on here. The story is delivered well, Cole himself is rather interesting. You do the in-game characters personality really well.
There was the scene with Nikki allowing Cole to lead her home. She'd only just met him and they spoke for, what, 20 minutes? Next, she's giving him her phone number and showing him her home address. It's nothing too major, just a thought I had.
Overall, you have a brilliant piece of writing. I eagerly await the next chapter with baited breath.
Just don't rush it or push yourself! Stay with what you feel comfortable with and don't allow us to get in the way of your desired education.
Have a nice day.
| KRT215 chapter 8 . 5/8/2016
| ahnjoseph87 chapter 8 . 5/8/2016
Good to see you back. And this chapter was pretty interesting. The downside was that it wasn't the next chapter for Cole's story. But, it is still good to see that you are back. Now I can't wait for the next chapter, have been wondering what will happen next with Cole.