Worse than Canon

Didn't they just say not to tell anyone, why did they tell hinatas dad

This story started good but now it's down to bullet points. There is no development, no character growth, or description. It's like you just threw the ideas in without any connective tissue. It's bad. and even worse considering you could if taken your time and made it good.

Im glad you not religiously following cannon
In fact i would be severely dissapointed if you dd. Ive already watched the show, i dont need to read it on a website built for creativity and differentiating from the subject.

Good idea, execution not so.

Wish there was a bashing warning since I despise those kinds of stories. Interesting idea but characters are too out of character.

This was a really well written and interesting read. I'd love to see a sequel!

The "arachnid clan saying" made me laugh oit loud. Good shout-out.

And that was the day Jiraiya of the Legendary Sannin became the second fastest man on earth...

Just a point out, irrespective of you stating that the chances of you continuing this is slim.

Back in the early part of the story, during the Betrothal Contract stipulations, you put down.

Either 16 OR if both had achieved the rank of chuunin as requirements for them to get hitched.. With their promotions in the last chapter, you've set off the Betrothal Contract, meaning any followup chapter would have to deal with the fallout of that.

Especially, considering how "eager" Hinata is to move things along.

In addition by having him trained by Jiraiya, you've set up Naruto for the Betrothal Match with Shizuka of Nadeshiko (from one of the fillers).

Considering you've already done one Harem with Hinata, Ino and Shion in your Guyver story, just wanted to point that out.

oh wow... this story was amazing! i really like how you could stay to the original story, yet put the twist here and ther, and give enough chara development so it make sense. nice story... it's a shame you had writters block, cause i would love to see the continuation. nice job nevertheless...

this story is somehow interesting. following the original, yet has some twist here and there. a little bit ooc-ness detected though. but, at some place, i believe it is needed. interesting... i will continue reading it

Please write a sequel! I already love this story!

I read through it and I'm literally dying for a sequel. It's just that good.

Finally a story where at least someone copies kakashi's style of introduction!